Dating with Diabetes

Bekah Y
By Bekah Y Latest Reply 2014-12-28 18:41:24 -0600
Started 2014-12-14 09:35:38 -0600

I recently went out on a date with a guy and he is very nice and respectful. We went bowling so the topic of me having diabetes did not come up.. Do I tell him I have diabetes? If so how? It is kind of awkward and I dont want to put a damper on things. Thanks (:

Tags: dating

18 replies

Fefe12 2014-12-28 18:41:24 -0600 Report

I'm not dating but I have always believed honesty is the best policy. I'm not sure why it would be a secret. Its your life and a part of you, like breathing. I've seen it before on this site where ppl dont tell anyone. How stressful that would be. I believe keeping secrets is hard, all the mind games and keeping up with what you did and didn't say. Way too much work for me. If this young man leaves you now for this reason, he would leave you later. And the point would be… Worth it? Honey, live your life, let no on stand in your way, and let no on tell you who you are. You are perfect, and the right man will come along and tell you so. So until then, just be you!

unojay 2014-12-19 14:24:32 -0600 Report

you should tell your dates up front on the first date.
Just think about, what would happen if your date cooks you a meal to surprise
you on first date. or take you out to a fancy restaurant and you cant eat the food . awkward in both cases . yes I think its best. I tell all my dates I'm diabetic
no shame on that but think about the situation if you don't…but then that's me' don't hide it. If they don't understand it,. then there are those who do.. best wishes. God bless…jay

Stuart1966 2014-12-18 10:13:03 -0600 Report

Hello Bekah:

First date? There are all kinds of things we don't tell everyone. When you are comfortable, when you WANT to share that information, do so.

You don't discuss your entire sexual past, your medical history on the first date right? If/when you want to share things, then is a good time.

You don't have to tell him about things he has not "earned". Trust takes time, if he earns yours share bigger more important things…


Kitt kat
Kitt kat 2014-12-18 04:04:15 -0600 Report

I never really had to tell my boyfriend I was diabetic. I have a type one diabetic tattoo on my wrist. So maybe that's how he knew. It didn't bother him at all. He just wishes that he could take the diabetes away so that I don't have to struggle so much with it. I've had a really hard life and diabetes just added to my problems. My parents were angry at me for getting it and blamed me for giving my younger brother it. I was ten when he got it and fifteen when I got it. Its okay though it was nothing new. Anyways dating. If its right things will work out. Now days many people have diabetes. So you never know if that person knows somebody or is related to someone that has it. I've only dated two people in my life and both people knew I had diabetes before we even dated. But I think that's because I hung out with them as friends before even going out. And of course the fact that I check my blood sugar over four times a day. I don't know maybe you could just ask them about their thoughts on diabetes. Its worth a shot. :-)

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2014-12-16 09:13:54 -0600 Report

I disagree with the answers most people have given will find I do that a lot..hee hee…anyway…your health is very personal…it is something you should not feel compelled to share with anyone…It should be a matter of how comfortable YOU are with sharing the fact that you are diabetic..especially in the early phase of a relationship..If things are working out..and you see anykind of future with the person you are seeing..then yes…you have to share..because if they are going to become an important part of your need to share everything with them…Me I would have no problem telling people on the first date..but I dont give a flying fig newton about what people think…and might use it as a weapon to weed out the idiots…if they have a bad reaction..think they can catch it..or are looking for someone PERFECT (like anyone really is)..I would dump their butt..I dont need THAT special kind of stupid in my life…that being said I am married so I dont have to worry about dating..hope this helped you…

lilleyheidi 2014-12-15 03:09:30 -0600 Report

If it were me, I'd just be real casual about it, maybe when you go out for dinner, take out your monitor and casually test your blood. If he looks at your quizzically just say something like "oh ya, i'm diabetic and need to check my blood at meal time". I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but let him know as soon as possible. Best of luck for a good relationship to you. HUGS, Heidi

missjazzy61 2014-12-14 23:15:02 -0600 Report

Well I think next time yall go out if you order diet soda or water you can casually mention oh I try to drink such a d such because I'm diabetic. I think he needs to know just in case you were to ever bottom out or something he needs to know what to do in that situation. Diabetes is a very manageable disease and I've never heard of anyone breaking up or backing out of a relationship because one has it. I think it's a good thing that you educate him about diabetes it's amazing the amount of people in the world who know little to nothing about it!

jayabee52 2014-12-14 23:39:55 -0600 Report

Howdy MissJazzy

You haven't yet read valentine Lady's experience on a date. she tells it in a post below. Her date found out inadvertently that she had diabetes, and he had a bad reaction to the news, wondering if he could catch diabetes as one catches a cold, He dumped her right there in the resturaunt and she had to find her own way home.

He really knew less than nothing about D.

Christmas blessings!


Docjjb 2014-12-14 22:49:09 -0600 Report

You have to tell him and I've found the longer one waits the worse it can be. I've been on many dates and always told my partner that I was a diabetic and not one ever cared or let it affect the relationship at all. The truth is always best and if he's any kind of man it won't matter. Better for you to find out early if he's worth your effort. All the best!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-12-14 22:17:47 -0600 Report

Hi Bekah,
I am not sure this will help or not. But it's a great story anyway. I was out on a date, this gentleman? and Ibhad been out several times and I never found it necessary to tell him the fact that I am a diabetic. Finally one night at dinner the time was right and I told him. Much to my surprise, after he retrieve his jaw from the table he replied. "You mean to tell me after all this time you just now tell me that you have a disease that you can give me." Of course hr had much more to say. At which I just sat and grinned. Except when he said should I get tested? At that I did reply " yes, you should be tested." I mean why should I be the only one to ge the a good giggle from the situation. He then left and left me sitting there. Thank goodness for

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2014-12-16 09:06:51 -0600 Report

with all due respect..good riddance to bad rubbish…I mean you really didnt want to date someone THAT stupid did you???

jayabee52 2014-12-14 19:04:37 -0600 Report

Howdy Bekah
I have a different take on the whole dating with diabetes or any major disease thing. I believe that it is best to be up front with the opposite party on a date. Most dating is focused on getting to know the other so you both may make assessments of whether or not you'd like to continue dating and to perhaps make it to the next date and perhaps even the next step. If you don't tell the other party about what makes you unique and that person will not know you well enough to make an accurate assessment. If you go too long before telling him,, when you do finally tell him it may be like: "what are you trying to hide and is there any other difficulty you are hiding?"

When I was first divorced I tried diving into the world of online dating (that was the easiest for me as I didn't have many viable prospects in the real world). I would usually disclose my medical challenges in my first reply to the lady. It kinda served as a test as to whether they had any empathy or not. Sometimes the lady didn't respond again others would and we would strike up a relationship.

Likewise for you. When you attract a man and you share on the first date that you have diabetes, it will show you whether he is just a male or a real gentleman by how he reacts to your revelation. If he is just some male he may not be interested in taking the relationship further. However if he is a gentleman he will likely be interested in knowing more about you and your diabetes and how it affects you.

When I was typing this, my fiancee` Valentine Lady from here on DC called. I told her what I was doing and that got us talking about the subject of dating. She told me a story about dating a big tall burly Texan who she told of her diabetes after a few dates. I am hoping she'll come by and tell her story, so I won't spoil it by telling it myself.

I pray success for you in matters of the heart.

James .

Pegsy 2014-12-14 16:24:52 -0600 Report

I don't think you need to tell a new date but if you start spending a lot of time with someone then that person should know. By that time you will probably be so comfortable with that person that telling him probably won't be all that hard. You'll be learning more about him too and there are probably some things he is nervous or shy about you finding out about him too. :)

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