Why Do We Come Here?

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2014-12-26 06:23:43 -0600
Started 2014-11-29 08:24:53 -0600

For Support? For advice? Maybe a place to come where you can vent and not be judged? There are a lot of reasons we come to this site. I come because I know there are people here who will encourage me, teach me something and offer their support in finding my way though the daily trudge of a chronic illness. You guys inspire me, give me a smile, make me laugh and even sometimes make me cry those good tears.

We also come here to encourage others and to let them know they are not alone. To reach out and touch someone with our words and maybe a hug or a high five. Sometimes we even give that gentle nudge to move in a better direction.

The hidden things that drive us are not always in full view and since few of us actually know each other to the depths that we would a face to face friend, we have to be aware that there are many complex things that make us tick. Most of us are not just dealing with diabetes and though that is what we share here, there is much more to each of us.

Perhaps we have a back ground that could be very fragile and sensitive. We might have a crummy upbringing that makes us harsh and lack empathy. We can be just so carefree, nothing gets us down. Or maybe we are just having a really, really bad day and anything we say comes out wrong. These are the pitfalls of online socializing. We don't get to feel the hug when our words heal. We don't get that "look" that tells us we are off base. Nor do we get to see the face when our words hurt someone.

No one should ever have to leave here feeling angry or under attack. We can get that from anywhere on any given topic. Here, we come for betterment. Not that we should lie or just say what people want to hear, but our words need to be measured carefully, because we do not know the background of someone we reply to has, nor how detrimental or healing our words could be.

It seems this time of year it is especially hard on many people. Chalk it up to any of the 100's of reasons we get more emotional or have more stress. Because I may not struggle with those things doesn't mean others don't. If I don't see it as a big deal, doesn't mean that a member here shouldn't. True giving comes from being able to give to the person what they need and that doesn't always mean we just tell them to get over it or move on. Giving comes from the process of helping them through, not telling them that what they feel or do is silly or foolish because we might think so.

Why do you come here? Answer that, and then realize that is what you can also give when you are here. You get back what you give, it's an amazing process that can really work.


40 replies

CJ55
CJ55 2014-12-07 05:39:35 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby.. I have been away from DC for months due to a few reasons you mentioned. I needed to come back, I missed my DC family of friends a lot. Your wonderful words were true to the heart. I feel the same way. Thank you for reminding all of us what a kind word or gesture means to someone. CJ

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-12-26 06:23:43 -0600 Report

I hope that you are able to enjoy the site the way you need to. We are all here for each other. There is so much greatness that happens here.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-04 11:15:58 -0600 Report

I am gone after the first of the year. Had enough.

haoleboy
haoleboy 2014-12-06 22:55:47 -0600 Report

Hate to see you go and hope you change your mind but I understand.

namaste
Steve

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-07 07:57:08 -0600 Report

Steve I will miss you. I am not mad at the person. I pity that persons small mindedness. You can't grow if you think inside of a box and feel the need for attention. Life moves on. I will miss those who are on my friends list. I will look for you on Facebook.

Jewels66
Jewels66 2014-12-03 00:40:18 -0600 Report

I was diagnosed 4 yrs ago! Need help… My blood sugar is out of control… I think it is poor choices with food! Can u share some of ur favorite things to eat and amounts? Th

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-12-03 13:20:48 -0600 Report

You might want to start a separate discussion to tackle this topic. There are great members who would be glad to help, but might not find your question here.

4catMomma
4catMomma 2014-12-01 11:43:48 -0600 Report

I joined here because after prowling around, it seemed like a great site. I posted a question, and everyone has been so nice and supportive. I'm not used to sites like this, so I am finding my way around. (I cannot find my original post! ha) I don't feel so alone, and maybe not so scared, as I can see that others have flet, or feel like I do now.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-12-01 11:57:34 -0600 Report

Great to have you here. If you go to the discussion tab in blue above and hold your cursor over that word you will see a drop down and one of the selections is "My Discussions" and that will take you to discussions you have started.

RosalieM
RosalieM 2014-11-30 16:36:31 -0600 Report

Gabby,
I come here to learn about people. I have always had a lot of responsibility even from a very young age and to be sensitive for me would put my survival in jeopardy. I have come here to learn about how normal people are. I will not know the sensitive thing to say to you because I have no experience but if you are drowning, I am in there to pull you out. I may give you a lecture about playing too near water, but I didn't let you drown. I became a lifeguard when I was 40 years old so that analogy works for me. Grandma Rose

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-11-30 14:03:22 -0600 Report

Gabby,

I always appreciate your honesty and your wisdom. You totally summarized what support is all about.

One of the things I learned early on when I first got started using email was that we don't have the benefit of being able to convey the tone we are using when we deliver a message. I can be a little sarcastic, but I deliver my sarcasm with a smile, and I know when the other person is in a place to hear it and laugh with me. It is not so easy to do that in an email message, and so easy to offend. So I learned to not make assumptions when I email, and am even more carefully on social networking sites.

And I always remind myself that we have no idea what other people are going through, how they have suffered as children, or how they suffer as adults. The most difficult people may be suffering in ways we can't know, and the people who are seemingly very happy may also be suffering. Reminding myself of this makes it a whole lot easier to feel compassion.

And yes, this is a hard time of year. Lots of expectations, lots of disappointment and stress. The holidays should bring out our best but they don't always. They can also introduce a lot of stress.

I come here because I learn so much from the incredible people on this site, And I appreciate the opportunity to share my experiences as well. We give to each other!

Great post, Gabby! And perfect timing as we come to the time of year where we look back, evaluate, and look forward.

Gary

elizag1
elizag1 2014-11-30 09:20:22 -0600 Report

Your words are very good and true. I don't always get on the computer but,
this place is one I do like to read about, the posts and questions..
Has anyone had to take the shingles vaccine?

lilleyheidi
lilleyheidi 2014-11-30 04:09:39 -0600 Report

Well said Gabby. It's about give and take, sometimes i give a little, always i take a lot from here. I'm always learning and that is why i come. thanks so much and HUGS, Heidi

beun
beun 2014-11-29 20:56:58 -0600 Report

What can i do Not to eat so much at. Night .after i get off from work

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-11-30 08:14:41 -0600 Report

I find if I keep myself busy before I go to bed, I eat a lot less. Specially at night when I tend to wind down and relax. When I watch TV it's the worst. So I try to do things to keep busy. This time of year, that is easy. LOL. But when I get lazy or don't do anything, I really loose track.
You can go out for a walk, play games with the kids (if you have some) Do that nagging task that has been bugging you or call a friend on the phone. Things like that help me keep my mind off eating.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-11-29 22:04:18 -0600 Report

Howdy Beun
How about duct tape across the mouth? Just kidding.

Perhaps you might eat things which do not raise your BG (blood glucose) like protein (eggs, meat, fish, nuts, beans. and eat them slowly so your stomach will know it is full and then will not be hungry.

RosalieM
RosalieM 2014-11-30 08:42:29 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby, I had two chocolate truffles made with Splenda and the resistant starch fiber just before going to bed last night. My blood sugar was 64 this morning. It works. The truffles are loaded with resistant starch fiber, and other fiber. They are a fiber bomb!!!! Same blood sugar with the altered cheese cake. I had so much reisitant starch fiber on
starch fiber on thanksgiving, I had to force myself to eat on Friday. Just not hungry even though I worked hard all day. Grandma Rose

rolly123
rolly123 2014-11-29 19:26:52 -0600 Report

Gabby
I come to get advice and lots support and met lots of friends! Nobody im in contact with understand diabetes what goes through exspecially family ! This site helped me to get on track and read about other exsperience they have give advice what i did so nobody makes same mistake!

Kats49
Kats49 2014-11-29 19:26:30 -0600 Report

Eloquently said Gabby!! I initially came to get advice, what i received was much more! This is a very positive site and I like that no one puts anyone down.

Pegsy
Pegsy 2014-11-29 19:02:01 -0600 Report

Very well said, Gabby. I first came here for information. What I found in addition to information is a wonderful group of friends that really care about one another. My day isn't complete without stopping by to see what everyone has been up to. I have learned so much in the few months that I've been a member. Because of so many people here, sharing their experiences and offering encouragement, I've made some healthy changes and my A1c is down. I am healthier than ever and feel positive about my future. Thanks everybody!

TsalagiLenape
TsalagiLenape 2014-11-29 16:25:35 -0600 Report

Gabby and fellow DiabeticConnect Darlins out there…Everything what Gabby said, along what a few of you have resounded with. I have been apart many great things in my life. Yet this is by far one of the rare ones. Hence I come back. Sometimes Life gets us busy like a rabbit when its raining. Yet I still come back LOL Did ya miss me? LOL Hugs

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-11-29 15:00:13 -0600 Report

Gabby, I initially started coming here to find support, which I got in abundance.

Now I come back to pay it forward, to help some struggling newbie to find some support and information to help them better mangage their diabetes.

And yes, I find that when I give that, I get back in return. I am hooked on this place!

God's best to you and yours

James

Homely54
Homely54 2014-11-29 14:31:11 -0600 Report

Wow, that's all of it in a nutshell and so wonderfully said. I come here to learn, to be involved with others I have something in common with and to also be able to help someone needing it as I do. It's a wonderful place to come to and I'm glad I found it. Thank you to everyone that makes it possible.

robertoj
robertoj 2014-11-29 13:23:30 -0600 Report

Initially I came to learn more about diabetes. I love the friends I've made. I've shed a few tears and had a few laughs. This site is important to maintain a positive attitude. I'm grateful to you and too many others to mention. A well thought out and well expressed piece.

peewee0618
peewee0618 2014-11-29 12:58:29 -0600 Report

Wow Gabby, you must have been reading my mind. I don't talk to a lot of people about my being diabetic because everytime I go to eat something the first thing they say is should you be eating that. I realize that I need to watch what I eat and don't want to be judged or criticized. I do want to thank everyone for their helpful ideas.

sandyfrazzini
sandyfrazzini 2014-11-29 12:17:55 -0600 Report

Gabby,Wow, were you reading my mind or what? For me, I come for suggestions that I may not have thought of, Hope, encouragement, friendship and to feel that I am not alone in this and every now and then that extra little push that I need. I have never once left the site feeling upset or angry, but I have noticed lately that a few members have seemed just a little too condesending (may not be the exact word I'm looking for but it's close) and I think some members may leave feeling belittled or hurt. We all have enough stress in our lives we don't need any extra. I think that sometimes we will ask a question that maybe we have already decided what we are going to do, but we are just looking for confirmation or other suggestions or solutions to the issue.
I would like to Thank everyone for all of their helpful ideas.

sweetslover
sweetslover 2014-11-29 12:01:47 -0600 Report

Well said, Gabby. I love the fact that I feel free to discuss things without judgment. When talking to personal friends I tend to be less open for fear of being thought of as a "whiner."

RebDee
RebDee 2014-11-29 10:54:47 -0600 Report

I really feel that Gabby said it all just as I would have said it. I appreciate all of my new friends made through Diabetic Connect, all the advice given, all the recipes and for allowing me to vent without criticism.

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