The lif of a cop in one of the most vilent citys in America

By BARON Latest Reply 2009-05-16 00:10:55 -0500
Started 2009-05-14 01:12:46 -0500

Coping in a stressing life syle anybody got any advice

31 replies

dyanne 2009-05-15 01:20:12 -0500 Report

Hi Baron, first I want to thank you for being so brave. You have one tough job and you must do it very well. We should all be so grateful to people like you who protect us all. The only advise I have is pray and I'am sure you do that already.
Just enjoy your free time with your family to the fullest and relish every moment. You must feel so great when you help someone and when you put a smile on a child's face. Try to carry that feeling with you… I know that must not be easy with what you must see all day, but you have to leave the negative of the day behind you and let the positives shine through. God Bless you and your family.

BARON 2009-05-16 00:10:55 -0500 Report

That's really nice of you to say, Gladly I have the weekend off. Will work out first, do some yard work, take my son out, and spend time with the wife, rap it up with a great church service my prayers go out tonight for peace and your happiness for your warm words of expression. Enjoy your weekend and be blessed.

cyncyn 2009-05-14 22:20:17 -0500 Report

It must be hard to serve and protect everyday. I don't think I could do it. I worked in a hospital for 24 yrs., and there were times, it was had to seperate work and passion. Like you said, especially when it involved young children and infants. So many times, I would see such abuse! And to this day, I don't understand how ANYONE can harm another human being!
Pat yourself on the back! You deserve it!!

BARON 2009-05-15 00:59:39 -0500 Report

It sounds like you deserve a pat on the back as well, blessed you for all you've given back in those years at the hospital, I know what you have seen, I thank you.

cakeybakes 2009-05-14 20:38:49 -0500 Report

It sounds like you need a lot of encouragement—know that you have it from me! I live close enough to your city (and have some family left there) to know what kind of stress you must be facing every day. Detroit is very violent, my parents moved out after the riots in the late 1960's, my grandfather stayed in Melvindale until the day he died, sleeping with a gun in his bedside table.

I, like so many others, am going through a tough time right now, too. The ONE thing I have found that helps is prayer—yourself and others praying for you. The other thing is enjoying my FAMILY every moment I am with them. I don't take advantage of the small amount of time we have together since I work so many hours at two different jobs. We truly enjoy spending time together and letting the stresses of the day melt away. Let your family be your rock and your soft place to fall! Give all the love you can possibly give to them to make up for all the hate you see in your job!

God bless you! And thank you for the protection that you give others every day!

BARON 2009-05-15 00:56:25 -0500 Report

Your sentiments are valued to me greatly be blessed you've just blessed me I'll sleep well tonight peace be with you.

2009-05-14 14:25:32 -0500 Report

I sometimes just sit quietly in my lounge chair, no tv, no music, no nothing. Just sit and listen to the quiet until I can get myself calmed down. I try not to think about anything. If you can do this for only 10 or 15 minutes, I think it might help to relieve some of the stress. I hope so anyway. I have all the respect in the world for those of you who do your job. I admire you tremondously. I'm glad to hear you have your church for support.

DiabetesDiva 2009-05-14 10:42:07 -0500 Report

I can't imagine what you face every day. It takes a special person to serve & protect. Have you tried meditation or yoga? Friends & family support? We are all grateful for your years of service.


BARON 2009-05-14 13:39:22 -0500 Report

Good advice I do a lot of community service for young males in the city, it is a good out reach program that focus on children who have parents in jail. Due to my love with the kids it gives me great joy to put a a smile on a little ones face. I take them to programs baseball games, football, piston games the park i even monitor their school activity. I guest it makes me a surrogate father. Just yesterday I was able to go to a middle school and talk to at least 60 kids I felt like I reached them and they were pretty happy it made for a great day well on my way to work family have a good day.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-05-14 17:11:51 -0500 Report

I looked at your photos and you have a wonderful looking family. It's important that you have that to go home to and be involved in…to love and support you. The children would be the roughest part for me too. I can never understand how people can harm or neglect children…or the elderly…or anyone, really.

How wonderful that you are involved in community work and mentoring. Some of those kids haven't a prayer in this world without someone stepping up and showing them the good and bad things that can result from their choices in life.

BARON 2009-05-15 00:50:51 -0500 Report

Thanks for the reply it makes it easier to cope when people can understand your plight.

Judimar 2009-05-14 10:41:56 -0500 Report

Hi Baron,

When I worked with victims of domestic abuse and their children years ago, I tried to seperate work from home. It was extremely hard to do that though. Seeing first hand what some human beings can do to others is a hard thing to witness. I had to constantly remind myself I was doing the best I could and that is all anyone could ask of themselves or anyone else. Even so, thoughts of work still crept into my home life.

I also found someone I could talk with about what I was going through. I could not go in depth with details but I could express how inadequate I felt or how angry a situation made me. It is important to relieve those feelings so you can continue to function.

Lady Di pretty much summed up my sentiments in her post.. She is so eloquent and that is the best advice anyone can give you. Trust in your higher power or your religious beliefs. Find joy in your loved ones and the goodness that surrounds you. It maybe hard to see at times but it's there.

Thank you for being you and all that you do.



LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-05-14 12:30:41 -0500 Report

I think this is true - taking it home with us - in many situations where we are constantly in touch with sad and horrifying stories and scenarios. Doctors and nurses certainly fall into that category, as do firemen and rescue folks. Undoubtedly our service men and women experience that same thing. We do what we can do and try to hold on to our sanity and continue living our lives. Not always easy, for sure.

BARON 2009-05-14 13:31:46 -0500 Report

I've learned on the job from some pretty good cops in the years not to take your work home and don't bring your home to work. I think I have mastered it. You also get a cold heart because your not supposed to take it personal, treat their tragedy as your work. I've only broken when I see see kids mostly infants harmed. I stay in the church as much as I can. Also with 8 years in the Military it's also prepared me for what the world can give. I guest thats what it took to prepare me for the deaths of my love ones. Great reply I needed that.

lipsie 2009-05-14 08:47:54 -0500 Report

I honestly could not imagine being in your positon. Like you said seven years. Wow, its a great accomplishment though in my eyes. You have put yourself out there for you, your family and the people and that's something! Thank you VERY much, sorry can't offer dinner…one too far, two I'd burn it. lol (not the cook) Love yaaas Sheila

BARON 2009-05-14 13:14:39 -0500 Report

Now that was funny you just put a big smile on my face you have a great day family, great reply.

dianef 2009-05-14 06:51:24 -0500 Report

My aunt and uncle were brutally beaten last week. My aunt is dead and my uncle is in critical condition. I am having a very hard time dealing with this. It is on my mind all the time. I just can't understand how someone could do this to another human being. I can't imagine how you feel, having to deal with this on a daily basis.

BARON 2009-05-14 13:12:35 -0500 Report

That is why I comment to the job, I do feel lead by god to help in anyway I can. I am truly saddened to hear of the tragedies that you've suffered. Stay strong and look to god he will see you through it, thanks for the reply.

cakeybakes 2009-05-14 20:40:37 -0500 Report

I am so sorry to hear about your family. In fact, I believe they were the older folks who live in a city near me. My prayers are with you for the healing of your uncle and for peace for your family.

cyncyn 2009-05-14 22:22:44 -0500 Report

I am so sorry for your tragedy. My heart goes out, to you and your family.
You and your family will be in my prayers.

BARON 2009-05-14 01:22:01 -0500 Report

I work the afternoon shift, 4pm to 12 am. in Detroit I see people hurt robbed, killed, and homes b/e. Sometimes I catch em most I don't. I love my job only 7 yrs to retire. People in Detroit are losing jobs at a rapid rate life is hard here, I.m just grateful for everyday given. any
suggestions. Or would you deal with it.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-05-14 06:20:29 -0500 Report

People who put their lives on the line for all of us each day have always had my utmost respect, gratitude and admiration. Thank you for your bravery and dedication. You have a tough, tough job, as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, and I know I could not deal with it. I volunteer with the needy and the homeless and that is so heartbreaking and depressing. As with you, however, there are positive sides too - serving others and seeing the good that you're able to do. I know how I would deal with it - how I do deal with things every day - and that is by leaning on the Lord. Hope that's what you do as well. Again, thanks for all you and your fellow officers do.

BARON 2009-05-14 13:08:42 -0500 Report

Thank you for the love shared. It's good to be appreciated. As far as god he will always be first in my life. Without him nothing is possible. when i' m not working I put my time in at the church commenting my volunteer service. I do security for the services. Great reply.

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