By $o$weet Latest Reply 2014-10-25 19:29:41 -0500
Started 2014-10-25 01:40:48 -0500

Anyone ever been embarrassed to tell a new relationship that you are a diabetic? I have trouble with this. Like dates and dating and things of this nature.

Tags: stress

9 replies

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-10-25 19:26:52 -0500 Report

I don't get embarrassed when I tell people I am a diabetic. All of my friends know as do the police officers I work with in the community. I actually don't care who knows I am a diabetic. If you are dating someone on a regular basis, he should know. He will be the first person to help you should you need help. Your friends should also know if you spend a lot of time with them.

Look at it this way. If you have an event that causes you to lose consciousness, and medics are called, who is going to be able to immediately tell them what is wrong with you? Your friends and family members are your first responder's, they are going to be the ones to help you until paramedics get to you. I am not saying you have to shout it out to the world but if you value your life the people you spend the most time with should know you are a diabetic and how to help you. If you are embarrassed to tell people then I suggest you wear a medical alert bracelet so the paramedics will immediately know what is wrong with you. I would be more embarrassed if my skirt fell off me on a busy street than I would be telling someone I am a diabetic.

I am very active in my community. I do a lot with the Police Department. The officers know I am diabetic. Our Community Affairs Sgt knows the password to my phone so he can access my In Case of Emergency App. He also has permission to get it out of my wallet should he need it. He came to my house to drop off something and I was having my very first bad episode. Because he knew what to look for, he made me get my coat, made sure my door was locked and put me in his police car and took me to the ER. He used my app to contact my sister and complete the paperwork for me in the ER.

I was at a meeting with the Police Commissioner and 8 other Police Community Leaders 2 of us are diabetics and he asked us why we were not eating certain foods. We both told him that we are diabetics. Our police officers are being trained to recognize diabetic highs and lows in people they encounter on the street.

Type1Lou 2014-10-25 09:22:27 -0500 Report

I was 27 when dx'd with type 1 in 1976, shortly after I'd separated from my first husband. I'm 65 now and have been with hubby #2 since 1980. I don't think I ever hid my diabetes during my dating years, feeling it was important for the people around me to be aware of it. But, I also didn't make a big deal of the fact that I had diabetes since I was managing it. This was true both career-wise and socially. Diabetes is part of who I am but it does not define or limit me. If others choose not to accept that fact, do I really want them in my life?

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-10-25 19:29:41 -0500 Report

I totally agree with you Lou. Diabetes does not define who I am. There is no way I am ever going to be embarrassed or ashamed that I have diabetes.

Silicone eyes
Silicone eyes 2014-10-25 05:57:22 -0500 Report

I was dx'd at 15 also, I ways at times apprehensive or cautious, but never embarrassed to tell them. Part of that may have been from living in a small town, more rumors than secrets. If they were someone I cared about and wanted to stick around I would ease them into it. The only embarrassment I had was having an insane low, and fortunately, those were always around people with a certain amount of understanding/caring.

$o$weet 2014-10-25 08:54:16 -0500 Report

Silicone eyes. Thank you for your kind words. Embarrassed may be a strong word on my part. I just find broaching the subject difficult. But you're words are true! Thanks again!

$o$weet 2014-10-25 03:15:52 -0500 Report

Thanks James. As I am type1 it's quite difficult to hide. I just find bringing it up awkward and difficult.

jayabee52 2014-10-25 03:59:18 -0500 Report

There is no need to hide it whatsoever.

You have a disease which you did not cause (like lung cancer which is caused by smoking) so there is no need to feel ashamed. It might be difficult to bring it up but eventually it will come up and that will be a teachable moment when you can share how you developed your T 1 and if she is not receptive to you after that, there are many more fish in the sea.

I however do know the feeling of being rejected for my diabetes (and several other problems - including my need for dialysis) but I soldier on and have found some real gems of ladies who are willing to overlook, and even embrace my disabilities. I pray I don't have to be thrust into the rough and tumble of the dating world again, but if I am, I will continue to look for the lady for the rest of my life.

God's best to you

$o$weet 2014-10-25 08:55:52 -0500 Report

You are right. I've been in great relationships with people who knew and didn't care. Just find that I psych myself out for nothing sometimes

jayabee52 2014-10-25 02:07:15 -0500 Report

Howdy SoSweet
I was married when Dx'd with Type 2. But it did become an issue later when she divorced me. I was up front about my various "medical challenges" with the new ladies in my life. For some it was an immediate deal breaker, for others they were willing to continue to correspond, at least for a while but eventually they thought better of continuing and found someone else.

I feel it is best to be up front about any medical challenges you have. The ladies who are turned off by them won't be right for you.

I have found love now from 2 ladies since my divorce in 2002. One was to a lady who contacted me on a website called Dating4Disabled, where i had a page up, which i had pretty much forgotten. We married but after about 2.5 yrs of marriage she passed away in her sleep one night from one of her many medical challenges.

The second lady is one from DC, ValentineLady, and we met here on DC. She had lived where I live, near Las Vegas,and she wants to return and take up living with me in summer 2015.

It does help if the lady has diabetes as well, that way you can understand each others' ups and downs better. That however is not a requirement for a successful relationship.

Praying success on youf dating life