Lost? How do you find yourself again?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2014-11-08 10:19:49 -0600
Started 2014-10-12 12:20:44 -0500

I’m lost!

Ever feel that way? If you do, you’re in good company. I often read posts in which members describe that feeling of being lost, and not sure where to go next.

What about you? Maybe you’ve been chugging along just fine, doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Everybody around you, including your doctor, doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Your medications doing their work, too.

And then… what happened? You thought the road ahead looked pretty certain. All of a sudden you find yourself wandering around in the weeds!

You’re doing everything you need to do. But something – or someone – isn’t. Not feeling like yourself. Symptoms that you thought you had under control not under control. The news that a medication or treatment doesn’t seem to be doing its job.

Let’s face it. When one aspect of your life suddenly getting out of sync can make your whole life feel like a house of cards. One card got pulled out and now the house is about to go tumbling with the next gust of wind. Another reminder that living with a chronic condition means living with uncertainty.

Here’s a link to an article I wrote awhile back:


So, what about you. Do you ever feel lost? If so, how to do you get back on track? Need some support?

Looking forward to hearing how you find yourself!

51 replies

MissTrendShe 2014-11-02 17:29:51 -0600 Report

I feel that the medication does not just effect your physical state of being, but mental concept of yourself. It's tiring going from a 253 blood sugar reading, then dropping to a 34, thinking you've done everything in your power to prevent such a dramatic change. You feel physically and mentally defeated.

I think it's important for us to point out to each other that it's okay to say this disease sucks. It does! Yes, we can manage it and we can treat it, but that doesn't mean it's any less or more tolerable as a result.

Admitting defeat has been one of the hardest things about this disease for me. I've been very lucky. I haven't had any hospital trips because of my juvenile diabetes since being diagnosed almost eleven years ago. I have had bad moments and quite recently I've taken better, more positive, proactive steps to make connections with people who have juvenile diabetes. I didn't know how to do this before, but recently sought out a JDRF chapter in my area.

Sometimes the mental satisfaction of sharing common bonds between fellow people with juvenile diabetes is better treatment than the medication. Of course, not for your physical self, but realizing you're not alone has helped me so much.

I have had pitfalls with my condition. It does things to your mental state of mind. Finding support and connections is necessary. That is my opinion and I would love to continue this dialogue with all of you so we can take words into action. Whether you just want to say about your day or learn about each other's stories, please do feel free to message me. I'm happy to talk.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-11-08 10:19:49 -0600 Report

Hello MissTrendShe,

Thanks a lot for sharing your insights here! Chronic conditions like diabetes can have a lot of effects on your emotions, as you said so well. And I agree, it's important to deal with your feelings, to express them, to talk about them.

It sounds like you have been taking good care of yourself. Including staying connected with other people who benefit from your insights and optimism, and share emotional support. Support is power!

I am really glad you are here. Thanks for raising your hand as someone who is willing to be a listening ear for others!


Dutchiekiwi 2014-10-24 17:32:38 -0500 Report

The last two years have been the biggest challenge of my life, and it's still going on.
I was drawn to this article as many times I think of the fact I have totally lost myself.
Due to all the health challenges i have found out a lot about myself, my strength, my determination, my need to stay positive. but the fact is as well, the 'me' I used to be is gone, and it's killing me. I am now 45, I was diagnosed with t1d on the 12th of July 2013. Just over a year ago. I am still recognized as being in the 'honeymoon' period.
In the meantime I have suffered immense back pain for a few years whilst waiting for a long long time on the public waiting list to be seen by a specialist. Long story short, everything went horribly wrong and finally after the third ambulance ride to a hospital, and as a result of the compression of the nerves in my spinal cord I now have Cauda Equina Syndrome, on top of my t1d, and I have had 2 back surgeries is in the last 3 months. I could write for hours… if I'd tell you everything you wouldn't even believe me. So yes… I have lost myself and I have no idea if I will ever be "Dutchie" again. I have two beautiful 7 year old twins, and they keep me going, they give me THE reason to fight. My stress levels are high. I need to rest a lot, so in the afternoon I went for an hour nap, I checked my BGL and I was 7.9, happy with that I fell asleep, 45 minutes later I woke up trembling feeling absolutely awful… BGL 2.4! Recovering from the second surgery I wobbled dangerously to the kitchen and big mistake… shuffed everything in my mouth that I could find. With young kids around lollies galore… It was stupid to say the least as I ended up to 22.4!!! At 7 pm I was so so tired, so last night for the first time ever, i was in bed before my 7 year old twins, I did not have the energy to stay up any longer. They had to go to bed by themselves. ( We normally read a book and I tuck them in and kiss them goodnight) Another reason I can say " I have lost myself " … I keep searching, somehow, one day i will be able to kick a ball around with my children and I promised myself and my mini's that I won't be long. So, T1d, Cauda Equina Syndrome, Back surgeries… I will learn to adjust, I will fight as I have a whole lot more living to do!


MissTrendShe 2014-11-02 17:18:56 -0600 Report

Hi Dutchie,

I read your post and all I can say is that I am so sorry. I have had juvenile diabetes since I was ten. I'm 20 now and will be 21 in December. If you'd ever like to talk about anything with me, please send me a message. Sometimes talking it through helps as part of treatment for this chronic condition. I know it won't take away the disease and that sucks, but if you think it would help you please send a message my way.

I have recently experienced a crossroads with my own diabetes, but in different fathoms. I imagine getting juvenile diabetes at 45 is very different than getting it when you're 10, but I'd be happy to hear more about your experiences regardless of that diagnosis time difference.

If ever you need support, I am here and I'm sure more members of this community would say the same.

Keep on keepin' on.

Best Wishes,
Julia Rose

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-26 18:45:55 -0500 Report

Hi Dutchie,

Thanks for checking in and letting us all know what's going on with you. I am really sorry to hear you have had so many challenges., with the back problems on top of your diabetes.

It sounds like your honeymoon period for diabetes has not always been smooth, and I am sure the back problems haven't made this time any smoother. Really sorry to hear about the ups and downs with your blood sugar levels.

I am glad you have your children to keep you inspired, and being able to play with them is a good goal to have. But in the meantime, take it one day at a time. Do what you can do with them. Just be the loving mom that you are. And take really good care of yourself.

Stay in touch with us!


Dutchiekiwi 2014-10-26 19:39:00 -0500 Report

Thank you kindly for your reply. Every day is very different. But I know times will change and eventually will get better again. I just need to keep on going and be the best that I can be at this moment in time.

Pegsy 2014-10-18 10:39:04 -0500 Report

I don't know that "lost" is the word I would use but I sometimes feel very challenged. It seems that just when everything is going fine and I am in a good routine, something happens to mess things up and I find myself having to regroup. If I know what I need to do, I can just do it and gradually everything falls back into place. I just have to be patient and have compassion on myself.

The most recent example…we were on a camping trip with family when I began to feel a very sharp pain in my lower right side. Over a period of hours it kept getting worse and I began to experience nausea. I did not have a fever. I checked my glucose and it was above 240 so I called my doctor. She thought it might be my appendix or possibly gallbladder. She said if the pain didn't subside soon I should go to a hospital. Within half an hour the pain was so great that my husband rushed me to the nearest hospital about 30 minutes away. My glucose had risen to 257. Still no fever. The ER doctor also thought it was my appendix. To be sure he ordered a CT scan. It turned out to be a kidney stone. (Never had one before and I hope I never have one again!) I passed it within the hour and felt just fine afterward. I enjoyed the rest of our camping trip!

However, because of the contrast dye used for the CT scan I had to go off the Metformin for 48 hours. I am still trying to readjust being back on it. This is where I feel challenged. Until my body adjusts again I will have all sorts of digestive issues. Today is one of those days. At least it's the weekend and I am not at work.

But here is the good news. My A1c is down to 6.3 from 7, three months ago! I couldn't be happier about that.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-18 16:34:29 -0500 Report

Hey Pegsy,

Life can certainly get in the way of our plans, right? Wow, that was an experience you had. I'm glad you got in touch with your doctor and that your husband was also so responsive. Sounds like you had a good support team in place.

I know it can take some time for your body to readjust after an illness. I am sorry to hear you are having all those digestive issues. I really am. I hope you get back on track soon.

A silver lining! Congratulations on that A1C reduction. Excellent!

Thanks for the update. Take care of yourself!


joni55 2014-10-17 22:14:06 -0500 Report

I don't think you can feel anymore lost than having to go to the ER and then have surgery and not knowing who to call. I was okay, maybe numb with the gall bladder surgery but felt lost.. The anesthesiologist said they were going to be my family and I couldn't have been treated better. I called someone from church and thank God that she was willing to come and even did some extra things for me.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-18 16:29:06 -0500 Report

HI Joni,

I know this was a rough experience. I am glad to hear you had such a supportive medical team and that you had friends who supported you. Glad you reach out for help.

Hope you are healing up nicely.


PD73 2014-10-17 08:43:28 -0500 Report


My name is Susan. I have been dx'd with type2 for about 9 years and I get more and more discouraged as time goes along. I am on 2 medications and 2 insulins(novolog & levemir) and no matter what I do my daytime readings are in the 2-300's during the day and since I work 12 hrs a day(6a-6p) at least 4 days a week so getting on a regular eating schedule is difficult and then when I go home and relax then I fall asleep and forget my last insulin injections most of the time. My A1C is usually around 10. Most of the time I dont feel hungry at all so I force myself to eat. I just am discouraged.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-18 16:27:22 -0500 Report

Hey Susan,

It's really great to meet you. I am glad you found your way to us!

So sorry to hear you are feeling discouraged. Here's a link to an article I wrote awhile back that you might find helpful:


I know how challenging it can be to live with diabetes. It can feel like a lot of work. I am wondering if it might help to talk with a diabetes educator and get some guidance on what you might do to keep your blood sugar levels more stable. Just an idea.

Take good care of yourself, my friend. And I hope you will stay in touch with us. You are not alone.


Pegsy 2014-10-18 10:44:25 -0500 Report

Susan, I find it hard to remember when to eat and take my medication sometimes. I have learned to set an alarm. As soon as I eat I set an alarm for when I should eat next. You might try setting an alarm for your insulin injection that will wake you for it should you fall asleep. Sometimes it seems the alarm on my cell phone is always going off for something.

ReaderReader12 2014-10-16 17:26:37 -0500 Report

Yes I have felt lost for sure. Probably more than once in my life. I am in a much better place right now. I have said it before, but I am back to writing in my journal, I say how I am feeling out loud to my person much more than I ever used to, I talk out loud to myself that helps a bunch. Yes I do take time to breathe. I have also talked to a mental health professional. That helped a great deal. If I felt I need to talk to someone again I would do it.

Thank you for the post I always look forward to what you have to say.


Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-18 16:14:59 -0500 Report

Hey Pam,

Thanks for checking in with us. Journaling is a great way to express your feelings and thoughts, to talk out loud as you said so well. I'm glad you also reached out to a mental health professional. That is a very brave thing to do.

I really appreciate your kind words. Glad to know this was helpful to you.

Stay in touch!


ladybugsluck9 2014-10-15 12:53:38 -0500 Report

Dr. Gary, I know I replied already, But I just got test results & this is a sure-fire way to get back or keep on track! 3 months ago my A1c was over 8! Today I got the results from yesterdays blood test And it is now at 6.1!! YEA!!!!! I guess I am really doing something right! :) Those occasional spikes I just need to let go & not let them drive me crazy, but also not let them push me over either! Thanks for allowing me to share my good news! :)

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-10-13 19:49:32 -0500 Report

Dr Gary, I can't tell you how I got back to me unless I tell you how I got lost in the first place. 12 years ago now I suffered a tramtic accident, which shattered my right thigh (actually the hip and femur). I was operated on which left a rather large hole in my
thigh. It was 4.5cm deep and 2.5cm wide. It wasn't even close
to healing 11 years later. I had 29 operations on that leg and 28
blood transfusions. I went into 3 comas, but I survived. I have
never been more lost and felt I had no more spirit. I was alone here in Texas and no one came to try to help me. Finally through
prayer and meditation I began to feel alive. I was finding me again. I fired my Dr. Found a new one who knew what he was
doing. I found a wonderful surgeon that sewed my leg together
inside and out. My scar runs from my waist to almost my knee.
But, through it all I found me again. I want to never be that far
away from me again. Prayer and meditation saved me. Thank you for listening.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-14 23:00:33 -0500 Report

Hi valentine lady,

So nice to hear from you! And thanks for taking the time to let me know what you've been through.

Wow, this is really quite a story. You have come a long way. I'm sorry to hear you had to suffer so much. This took a big chunk of time with I'm sure a lot of struggles and setbacks along the way.

And to go through this alone is so sad.

You are clearly a very brave and resilient person. An inspiration! And evidence of the power of prayer and meditation.

Glad you found your way back!


valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-10-15 09:54:49 -0500 Report

Hi Dr Gary,
Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. I was alone as far as one could tell.
But through prayer, I wasn't really alone. I know that now.

Naturalexpressions 2014-10-13 11:20:59 -0500 Report

You can fix that, make your diabetes and health a challenge. Question everything you have learned about your diabetes. Much of it is based on no research. Do your own research. Make discoveries. You won't be bored as you are always looking for something new to try.

GabbyPA 2014-10-15 05:42:47 -0500 Report

Actually that is a lot of what I do, and part of my problem. I try things a lot, and that is where I get discouraged a lot. I know I just have to keep on doing that because I know there is a combination out there that will work for me. I just have to find it.

Pegsy 2014-10-18 11:14:17 -0500 Report

I understand what you mean. I would very much like to control my diabetes without medication so I tend to try a lot of different things. It gets discouraging sometimes when the author or creator's promises aren't realized. At first it left me feeling that it was my fault, that I just wasn't doing things right but now I realize that there is no single thing that works for everyone, despite what they say.

GabbyPA 2014-10-13 07:06:27 -0500 Report

Getting lost usually goes with getting discouraged for me. When I am trying to do the right things and my body just won't cooperate. Trying to figure that out can be really confusing. That is when I tend to throw my hands in the air and walk away.

I can't stay there too long because I start to feel poorly. Then I remember how yucky diabetes can make me feel and I will find a way to straighten myself out. My biggest issue is that I am not a person of routine. I am good with a routine for a while, but then I get bored and need to change it up. That is usually where I get into trouble. If I could really fix that, I bet I would not get lost so often.

Pegsy 2014-10-16 21:13:17 -0500 Report

I am just the opposite, I am definitely a creature of habit. I thrive on routine. It is when my routine gets messed up that I have trouble. I feel secure with routine. Not to say I never step out of routine. Life would be totally boring if I didn't change things up once in a while.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-14 22:54:58 -0500 Report

Gabby, that's a good point. Discouragement kind of sets off a downward spiral that can end up at lost. That's interesting about your dislike of routine. Routines I have learned are the diabetic's friend, at least healthy routines are. Maybe you can look at your diabetic routine as making possible all the other stuff you do that is not so routine. With that foundation in place, you have your freedom. Thanks! Gary

GabbyPA 2014-10-15 05:41:16 -0500 Report

I calk it up to my Sagittarius sign. I see all sides of the story, and can use that very well in some situations. It's a down fall for me in trying to set up routines. I need rigid things to keep me on track. I'm not good at self governing that way. I need a camp to get away from all the diversions and stick to it.

denipink57 2014-10-12 21:58:20 -0500 Report

i had to make a trip to Emerg last night because i was with low blood sugar all day. i would eat and bring it back up but it kept going back low again.

the nurse told me to cut back on the insulin and to eat more so today i did that and i am back in the zone. it was really really scarey for me but thru prayer and going to Emerg i managed ok.

i have to be diligent and stick with my program but when hitting lows i get really confused.

i hope that everyone is doing ok. i look to God for my help and He is always there. if not for my strong faith and God's speaking to my heart i am lost completely.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-14 22:49:57 -0500 Report


Thanks for checking in. Heading to ER has to be scary, along with that out of control blood sugar. I'm glad to hear you are doing better.

Glad you have that solid foundation!


jayabee52 2014-10-12 22:28:32 -0500 Report

Howdy Deni
Sorry to learn of your repeated hypos. Are you aware of the 15/15 rule? You can find it here ~ http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-discu...

One of the things it is important to do when your BG is brought up to tolerable levels is to eat protein at the end of the ordeal as the protein will digest slowly in your tummy and will keep your BG from falling again. Only eat the protein after your BG is brought up as protein (and also fats - why chocolate is not a good choice because of the fats in it) will slow down the action of the carbs in raising your levels. Obviously you want to get back up as quickly as possible.

Praying for your better health


lilleyheidi 2014-10-13 03:32:31 -0500 Report

I had never heard of the 15/15 rule before, thanks for that post James, I'm going out to buy some orange juice juice boxes today.

ladybugsluck9 2014-10-12 19:43:23 -0500 Report

I laugh now when everything is going along smooth, because that's exactly the time when something is due to happen to knock everything off kilter! For the last 21 years, this is my life. So I guess I've 'adjusted' to the roller coaster life. Notice I said adjusted, not like it or handle it well. lol In fact like everyone else. There are times I'd like to just throw in the towel to be quite honest, it just seems like 1 more diagnosis after another. And just when the sugar levels are going great, OUT of nowhere they spike! I sit here & think, what the heck? why? Then I pick myself up & realize it's part of the disease just go on. everything will be ok. Stay focused on today. If I'm having a really hard time digging out & finding my way back I call a good friend that is always willing to listen & she always gets me back in the positive frame of mind.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-13 16:13:33 -0500 Report

Hey ladybugsluck,

Thanks a lot for sharing this with us. You described a perfect set-up for feeling lost. And I suspect this is totally relatable for many other members here on Diabetic Connect.

Things can just seem to come out of nowhere and you want to sit back and ask, what's going on here. I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing.

And you said it so well: Stay focused on today. Take it one step at a time. Dig yourself out and find your way back to the path.

Having support can help so much. Glad you have that good friend to call. And you have us!


Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-10-12 19:08:18 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary,

Like James I am pretty much centered. Everything is working for me. When I do get off track which is rare, I am right back a the station catching the next train. Any number of things can happen to cause a person to feel lost. Family and friends are not supportive, doctor doesn't seem to be listening or answering questions or you are not getting the results you hope to get when it comes time for your A1C test.

First I think it is best to become self supporting. Family and friends have lives to live also and may not have time for you. At times they are not going to be there when you need them. You have to learn to depend on yourself and take care of your own needs.

If the doctor isn't listening, ask why. Think about it, if your friends aren't listening you ask them did you hear me or were you paying attention. Why not ask the doctor the same thing? My doctor knows my ground rules. I told him if I think you are not responsive to my medical needs, if you are not listening or will not answer my questions, I will replace you in less than a heart beat. He pays attention to what I am saying and answers my questions.

When you get your A1C results, they may not be what you hoped, however, it is not the end of the world. Don't get upset, you can start over by changing or modifying what you were doing.

Feeling lost can be difficult for some people. It is the proverbial rut. Instead of digging in, get out that GPS and find yourself. The more you keep moving forward, the stronger you become. If you find you are hoplessly lost, get professional help. At the end of the day, you will find that you will learn to use tools you didn't know you had and things will get better.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-13 16:10:01 -0500 Report

Hey Joyce. I also think of you as a very centered person. I know you place a high value on being self sufficient, speaking up for yourself, and staying on top of your self-care regimen. These are in my mind important factors in keeping on the path and not getting lost. I love that GPS metaphor. It tells me to tap into my own inner strength, my personal coping tools, and to chart a path forward. Thanks so much for checking in and sharing your wisdom. Gary

jayabee52 2014-10-12 17:42:59 -0500 Report

Howdy Dr Gary
Thanks for sharing this.
I am generally pretty centered and even moreso with Valentine Lady in my life. Sometimes I get a little off center, and we talk about it and she helps me see the center again.

God's best to you and yours


Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-13 16:04:28 -0500 Report

Hi James! Nice to see you, as always! I have known you to be a very centered person, for the 4 years+ that we have known each other. And I am sure it helps to have someone to share the path with you. Thanks! Gary

robertoj 2014-10-12 12:39:44 -0500 Report

I try to avoid getting lost. When I am lost it is because I'm too self centered. Prayer,meditation and helping others usually does the trick.It helps ,as they say, to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. A strong support system helps keep me on the path.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-10-13 16:02:20 -0500 Report

Wise words, Roberto. Self-monitoring can go a long way toward being proactive, recognizing the mindset that might push you into feeing lost and doing something to get yourself back on track before you drift in that direction. Thanks for sharing this. Gary

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