I feel like giving up on my diabetes

Kitt kat
By Kitt kat Latest Reply 2014-10-15 03:02:44 -0500
Started 2014-10-02 00:38:17 -0500

I'm frustrated I have had type one diabetes for almost nine years. I am currently working on getting an insulin pump. I am sick of the shots, sick of the pain my lantus shot gives me. Sick of checking my blood sugars several times a day. Sick of shots to lower my blood sugar. Sick of shots for carbs. Sick of high a1cs. Sick of it all. I have mental problems to deal with too. Which makes it that much more difficult to take care of. I cry a lot in frustration. My fiance does not understand how hard this really is. I know I can't stop taking care of this disease and my mental diseases but I can't do this. I don't even get enough food stamps to last the month. I can't get a job because of my mental disabilities. Social security doesn't give me enough to take care of everything I need. I just want to give up. But I know I can't. Please somebody give me advice or tell me if this will get easier.


8 replies

wraithmb
wraithmb 2014-10-04 08:41:55 -0500 Report

Hi kitt! James is right, there are a lot of people out there that are, but don't talk about it or do anything about it! You have an advantage: you have accepted the diagnosis!

I am finding myself going through a lot of the same feelings. I'm sick of the needles and doctors. Sick of my diabetic teams "God complex"… The one where they think they're God and you have to do everything they say without question. Personally I find what has killed it for me is the insane amount of logging lately!

As James has said… If you're going through hell…keep going! Winston Churchill was a smart man!

So with that in mind, and since none of us are alone… Let's keep moving and not stay here for a visit. :-)

Kitt kat
Kitt kat 2014-10-15 02:54:05 -0500 Report

I definitely hear you on the logging. Its a pain in the butt. I haven't been able to get a pump yet because I've been sick for the past couple of weeks with blood sugars above 350 all day. I've been trying to fix it but I guess I'll just have to hold on tight and keep trying my hardest till I'm no longer sick. I've had to post pone my appointment with a pump educator or whatever you call them three times already. she wants good numbers consistently for a couple weeks so that we know how to program it in the pump. But knowing that I'm not alone with this disease out there gives me strength. Keep Moving Forward. :-)

Atowns
Atowns 2014-10-03 18:29:29 -0500 Report

I've felt just about the same as you do, I've had T1 diabetes for 9 years as well and can relate to your frustration as I have often found myself feeling at a dead end where nothing seems to go right.
However, I have managed to find a purpose in everything I do, a goal I wish to accomplish, and it has kept me up when things are going down. Remembering there are many, many people in far worse conditions than mine or yours helps look at things in a different perspective, especially when you know that even though those people may not have diabetes, they would switch their problems for yours in a heartbeat. Hang in there. Regards

Kitt kat
Kitt kat 2014-10-15 02:58:41 -0500 Report

Yeah my fiance and my little dog are my reasons to keep fighting. I didn't realize how much they meant to me until I thought about how life would have been without them. We all grow closer together everyday. You hang in there too. Keep your head up. :-)

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-10-02 07:00:30 -0500 Report

Howdy Kitt
I understand your frustration as it seems like the duties of taking care of your diabetes are never ending. I don't have to tell you how the diabetes and the mental health problem feed back on one another.

I want to encourage you to hang in there. You are in a tough spot. Eventually things will change. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said "When you are going through hell, keep going."

My prayers for you and yours!

James

Kitt kat
Kitt kat 2014-10-02 19:09:19 -0500 Report

Thank you James. I will remember that. I just feel stuck. Its good to know that things will get better. Its hard to not be able to relate to people when it comes to diabetes. I used to be able to talk to my younger brother about it because we both have it. I am not allowed to talk to my family ever again apparently so I have no connection with any diabetics besides this website. Its so good to know that I am not alone in this diabetic world.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-10-02 19:23:51 -0500 Report

When one gets my age (62) it seems that almost EVERYONE has diabetes. I quietly ask around at church socials and the majority of folks there have one type of DM or another. Only they just don't talk that much about the fact they have DM
That may be different in a younger age group but just know that many ppl around you do have it, but are not that vocal about it.

Praying that you are able to get your insulin pump without a lot of hassle. That should be helpful to help you manage your DM.

James

Kitt kat
Kitt kat 2014-10-15 03:02:44 -0500 Report

Yeah pumps make it a lot easier. I've had one before but long story short it vanished after taking it off to refill it then ending up in the state hospital for a year and a half. Needless to say I no longer live in that area.