Nervous and maybe even a bit scared about an appointment tomorrow.

By Brenin Latest Reply 2014-09-27 16:16:05 -0500
Started 2014-09-07 12:47:40 -0500

Meeting with a new diabetic counselor tomorrow morning. Seems like the harder I try to get off on the right foot, the more I put people off.

I have been an aggressive advocate for myself after losing my grandfather to diabetes and watching my father die slowly due to diabetic complications. I got to sit with my dad for about 30 by myself when he was dying… I don't know if he could hear me or not, but I promised him I wouldn't let happen to me what was happening to him without a fight.

Seems like the more I advocate for myself, the more I put off the medical professionals that I deal with. I ask questions… that's apparently a no no. I question my course of treatment…also a no no and I have questioned my doctor's ability to treat a long term progressive disease… that is just unheard of. BTW… he specializes in OB/GYN…not exactly what I would want treating diabetes. I'm working on that though. I wont be in his care much longer.

I'm labeled non-compliant even though I've done everything I've been asked to do… problem is that it's not in the time frame they would like things done. I have managed to bring my numbers down from the high 600's to daily readings of 120 and lower. That's another saga in this story and another reason why I'm not well liked.

SO… meeting this new person is kind of scary for me. She's going to see my file, she's going to see where I've been called non-compliant, she's going to start making judgments about me (like they've all done) without having heard my side or even talked to me as a person.

Not once in a year and a half has anyone asked what I think, how do I feel or what do I want regarding my diabetes. Everyone says I'm in denial because I'm angry about being a diabetic (there's another part of the story I wont get into right now)…being angry about being a diabetic doesn't make me in denial… it just means I'm angry about being diabetic.

*sigh* I'm crossing my fingers, I'm telling myself to play nice… having spoken with her once already on the phone…I can almost see the writing on the wall. They are ok with me as long as I don't ask anything, do as I'm told and don't question my care. I just don't see how this appointment is going to end well with those kinds of limitations.


Tags: stress

15 replies

Stuart1966 2014-09-09 16:42:43 -0500 Report

Reading your original post, I smile.

NOTHING wrong with angry… a very useful and important tool! In what direction are you seeking the next "white coat"?

Will they be a transition MD, or the base from which you pursue deeper experience(s)? Not clear (reading fast) which way the appointment went yet.

Brenin 2014-09-10 11:45:49 -0500 Report

If all goes as planned, the next "white coat" will be my base. I had been looking into transitional MD's just in case I was unable to find someone right away.

It wasn't clear in my post what I was going do because at the time I wrote that, I wasn't even sure what my approach was going to be until I met the Diabetic Counselor.

Brenin 2014-09-08 14:37:08 -0500 Report

The visit went well… I am relieved. She looked over everything I'm doing and the charts on my numbers…everything is headed in the right direction and quickly now that I'm not taking HCTZ. We both agree that a doctor that's interested in diabetes is necessary and this doctor isn't it.

Changes are a comin'!

haoleboy 2014-09-08 15:32:07 -0500 Report

glad to hear that it went well. are you looking into seeing an endocrinologist that specializes in diabetes?


Brenin 2014-09-08 16:35:53 -0500 Report

The plan at this point is to get established with a new doctor first and then go from there…so an endocrinologist isn't coming on board yet. YET being the operative word. ;-)

Brenin 2014-09-08 16:37:20 -0500 Report

Also the doctor that we're going to be setting me up with is very familiar with diabetes as his son is diabetic and the staff at his facility is very diabetic orientated. This woman I met with today works out of his office and closely with his PA's.

Glucerna 2014-09-08 19:16:23 -0500 Report

I'm glad to hear that the visit went so well and that you're getting the support and encouragement you wanted. ~Lynn @Glucerna

wraithmb 2014-09-08 08:24:53 -0500 Report

I had a counsellor once tell me that if I'm doing things right, people are going to be mad. It sounds to me like you are doing what is good for you. Start off by telling your doctor about your previous treatment, and ask her opinions on some of what has been done by both you and your physician. Tell her your concerns openly, and go from there. If you feel more comfortable, bring someone along, but explain to her why. I would also add the advice to explain your point of view as (for example) "I feel that the pills I was on were not the right ones for me because of their effects on my blood sugar". If someone argues with that you can then respond with "that may be, but I still feel that…"

Once again… My 2 cents… Sadly in Canada we no longer have pennies so it gets rounded down and it's worth nothing here.

rolly123 2014-09-07 14:53:30 -0500 Report

Welcome Brenin
Sorry lose grandfather and father!! I know what u mean I took care my mom while she was dying diabeties complication she I was in denial I watched her eat sweets and not want go dylisis any more after loosing my brother in May of course it was my birthday so hit me mom hardest!! Then I was with my mom while she passed away year ago !! I'm miss her a lot! I also went fistic ism Counsiling and I was scared she help me understand a lot exspecially my med my father did 4 years ago of diabetes and both grandparent of same disease so I'm was so scared I didn't admit I was diabetic until this year! Sorry of loss I know what u going through hope help but take day time write down concern about diabetes exspecially here keep diary what u eat a

haoleboy 2014-09-07 14:20:48 -0500 Report

You are responsible for the management of your disease … and, of course, solely accountable. Doctors and other health care 'professionals' are simply advisers and consultants ,,, well, that is the way I approach this. I am quite certain that I know more about the practical management of diabetes than my non-diabetic primary. Fortunately she seems comfortable with that arrangement (perhaps because I am in good control).

It is my experience that people dealing with chronic illness go through some form of the 5 stages of grief (DABDA) ,,, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I know that I certainly have (particularly in dealing with my stroke) and something that I do address daily.
Perhaps something you might want to explore.


Brenin 2014-09-07 14:47:27 -0500 Report

Steve… I truly wish it were that simple at this point. I have a primary that does not and has not taken an advisory or consultant position regarding my care. So far the attitude has been "it's his way or no way"…I know there is more than just one way of treating diabetes and he's been close minded to all alternatives including diet and exercise. His approach has been if it's not resolved by medication than it's not treatable.

The appointments with him are such that I now bring someone with me to all appointments. I have been yelled at, verbally abused and bullied at the majority of my appointments because I question my course of treatment and his skill. He has zero interest in learning more about diabetes, he kept me on a medication for 4 years that elevated my bs…something that I only just found out. I stopped taking the medication (it was a water pill for the swelling in one of my legs and nothing else). My daily numbers that I could never get below 200 are now between 80 and 120 regularly.

These are only a few of the reasons I'm not staying in his care. And I have to point out that while you are right that I am responsible for my diabetic management and care… it is also important to have all the information necessary to make good management and care decisions. I have a doctor that's not doing that. It's also unreasonable to flag my file and label me non-compliant because he doesn't like that I advocate for myself. There is nothing I wont question when it comes to my care and if a doctor doesn't appreciate that I want to know and learn all that I can about how I'm being treated, then that's the wrong doctor to have. Unfortunately every new person that meets me basis their opinion of me on this one doctor's opinion. It makes advocating for myself incredibly difficult.

Stuart1966 2014-09-09 17:15:19 -0500 Report

Now having read more carefully… let me offer the following for your consideration.

For someone, this person is a fine (throat clearing sound) doctor. remember please do remember what you call the person(s) at the very, very bottom of their class too…


You apparently have met/employed a bunch of "them". TIme for the next level now… : )