I recently started a job to help bring extra income into our household. I work on the same ranch as my husband and it has worked out pretty well for us…until today.
While my husband was out in the fields I was taking care of some cows after the kids were home from school as I've been doing daily. Usually the kids will go up to the barn with me but tonight I'd told them that it wouldn't take me long and since it was nice outside for a change they could stay at the house and play. I can see our house from the barn I work in as both are at the tops of hills. On my way back from the barn I saw Laura's bike at the bottom of both hills halfway between the house and barn but didn't see her, as I was coming up the hill toward the house her brother came running out saying she'd crashed her bike and was hurt and bleeding…
Came in the house she was on couch, both legs bleeding and 1 arm and as I was checking her out I noticed a knot on her forehead but no bleeding there just little blood blister type red spots in and around the knot. Then I saw blood all over her shorts and thought it was from her arm maybe but she said her side hurt really bad, I raised her shirt and there was this deeper gash on her side just above her hip bone and it was full of rocks and dirt. Called her dad on his cell and told him we were off to the hospital and why and picked him up from the side of the road at the field on our way.
Mild concussion, minor abrasions on legs and arm and 9 stitches in her side after cleaning it all out, and her blood sugar was over 300. Yes she had on a bike helmet but she said that she thought the bike handlebar is what smacked her in the forehead when she wrecked.
Sent home with the usual instructions for a concussion, and orders to see her family doctor tomorrow, keep checking her BGL as they suspect as did I that the trauma and stress made it go so high.
My problem is, I'm wondering if me working instead of being home is such a good idea. Sure I know whether up at the barn or in the house she could have had the wreck, even if I was out there beside her she could have had it. I just feel like its my fault because I'm the one that convinced her and her brother not to go along with me this time, I feel guilty I guess more than anything. She's supposed to have her newspaper interview Thursday after school and has a movie/pizza hut night with her dance team after that the same night and I feel like crap because this wouldn't have happened if I'd just taken her with me. I thought working right here would be okay, the kids know their dad and I both have our cell phones and that I'm never that far from the house even if their dad is, but still it bothers me.
Am I just being silly and over protective? We need the money, who doesn't these days, but I can't help but wonder if I was just a stay at home mom things would have been different.
Have been waking her every 2 hrs for the concussion instructions, and checking her BGL at those times too, it is coming down, her last one just a few minutes ago was 178, still a bit high but better than over 300.
My husband keeps telling me it wasn't my fault that no matter where I was she could have had this bike accident but because I went without her and she decided to ride her bike to the barn I still feel guilty as hell
Someone once told me that God never gives us more than we can handle, I wish someone other than me would tell God that my cup runnith over and I feel like I'm at the breaking point. Every (what I think) good decision I make seems to go sour shortly after made. Even my "biological clock" is out of whack not to mention my diabetes, I'll be 40 later this month but it feels more like I'm turning 80 I'm so strung out and stressed anymore.
If you wouldn't mind saying a little prayer for Laura to recover quickly from this I'd appreciate it as her luck hasn't been so great for some time now when it comes to medical issues and such. As for me, any suggestions on how I De-Stress and get myself back on track would also be appreciated.
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