Please help

Anonymous
By Anonymous Latest Reply 2014-09-01 09:47:51 -0500
Started 2014-08-31 16:16:53 -0500

Ok so I myself am not a diabetic, however the love of my life is. My boyfriend was hospitalized and diagnose with type 2 in October if 2013. Since then he has been in denial. He has done nothing to control his diabetes. He does not take his medicine nor does he check his blood sugar or eat right. He has not been for a check up. Lately I have noticed that he is extremely tired and drinking excessively like he was before he was hospitalized. I literally beghim to take his medicine. He will not. I am so worried about him and I know that he needs medical attention what should I do? Thanks


4 replies

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-09-01 09:47:51 -0500 Report

Howdy Anon

In the early days of my diabetes Dx I did something like what your BF is doing. I didn't take care of myself. My 1st wife and I worked in a church as "custodial engineers" (janitors) and one day she called me into the pastor's office and told me in front of the pastor that if I didn't get my act together and take care of my diabetes that she'd divorce me. I certainly didn't want that so I started caring for myself. Unfortunately it was too little too late and I developed some nasty complications like burning neuropathy in the feet, and kidney failure necessitating dialysis.

My wife stayed with me for several more years after that ultimatum and then divorced me over other issues.

As that was happening I went into burnout for a while and I believe it was then that my complications got a roaring start.

I now live with pain when I walk due to "burning" neuropathy, which is the bane of my life right now. I also have to go to dialysis every other day (M W F) for 4 hrs a session, plus I have many other assorted "medical challenges".

I pray your BF gets his head on straight about his diabetes before it is too late.

James.

wraithmb
wraithmb 2014-09-01 09:00:02 -0500 Report

Halo ebony is right. One of the receptionists at my endocrinologists office put it very well…

Some people are alcoholics… You can tell them what they need to do until you're blue in the face. Some might listen, but many will keep going until they hit rock bottom…

Some diabetics are the same, they might listen if you tell them enough times, but it is more likely that your boyfriend will start suffering before he changes his ways. He'll say things like "that's just the worst case…" And "I'm not that bad off…"

One day you'll hear "I'm lucky so far…"

Then one day, he'll lose a leg, or his kidneys will quit, or he'll go blind, or his stomach will stop working… Then he'll do his blood tests.

The question is, how long are you willing to tell him before you walk away? It's like Haoleboy said… You need to tell him straight out that this isn't acceptable to you, and it's better and necessary for you to leave rather than watch him suffer. Mean it, and follow through…

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2014-09-01 08:25:17 -0500 Report

Haoleboy said it better than I ever could. If your boyfriend refuses to take care of himself, there is nothing that you can do to make him. The choice is his.

haoleboy
haoleboy 2014-08-31 16:39:39 -0500 Report

You can't force him to take care of himself.
You seem to be aware of the seriousness of the disease. Death is only one of the "complications". Blindness, loss of limbs, kidney failure are a few of the treats he has in store,
Apparently he is okay with that but I am guessing you are not. Let him know in no uncertain terms that unless he "mans up" and starts taking care of himself that you have no options other than leaving him … and mean it (and that you will support him any way that you can if he does).
I say this as someone who was told something very similar years ago … we are still together and I am in the best overall health of my life right now and owe it all to her.

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