The struggle: relationship

Ordinary Diabetic Superhero
By Ordinary Diabetic Superhero Latest Reply 2014-08-12 16:07:10 -0500
Started 2014-08-09 11:02:59 -0500

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months and as a military man who only knows to push forward through things, he doesn't seem to understand that high and low blood sugars effect my moods and how my body feels. It makes us both frustrated: me in that he doesn't understand when I try to explain ; and he only sees my moodiness as something I can easily control. How do I explain to him that it is blood sugar symptoms and not me trying to be difficult and frustrating?

Tags: stress

7 replies

MrsCDogg 2014-08-12 16:04:14 -0500 Report

Get some informational material and share it with him. Send him articles that you find on line. If you are going to have a long-term relationship with him he has to at least try to understand and be supportive.

daydreamer630 2014-08-11 10:43:20 -0500 Report

I'm no relationship guru but I agree with Nick. Relationships are hard and unfortunately with diabetes, it can add extra stress to already stressful situations. My boyfriend and I have been dating 5 years. One thing I have learned is it's hard for people that haven't experienced the hardships we've been through to ever completely understand our trials. The thing is you've got to explain it to him, talk him through it. With all the silly stigma's with diabetes everyone thinks that all you need is to control yourself better: eat right, exercise, or just discipline yourself. The thing is that's not all there is to it. It takes time for people outside the loop of diabetes to understand there's more to taking care of ones self than just discipline.
One big thing for me is I never use my BG's as an excuse for my behavior. Yes it contributes and it's unfair to have my BG affect my actions but I still acted on it. If I get moody and my BG happens to be messed up I apologize. I've explained to the people close to me the effects of diabetes, one of them being moodiness.

Nick1962 2014-08-10 15:53:25 -0500 Report

Before we all quickly vilify the boyfriend, I’d like to offer a different perspective if I may. I too am a very disciplined person (except, for the longest time, about my weight and health). If I commit to a project or task, it gets done. Not when I feel like it, or in my own time. Before my diagnosis I was very overweight and moody, and frankly not a very pleasant person to be around. I didn’t really understand it myself let alone ask someone else to. Well, I’m enlightened now, and thankfully family life is a whole lot better.

Fortunately, you do understand the symptoms and I’m guessing how to correct for the lows and highs that cause those moods. Yes, diabetes does mess with the mind, and you deserve to be cut some slack. It doesn’t however give you a free pass. You’re in a relationship and have just as much responsibility to keep things reasonably in check, (just as you’d expect him to), understanding or not.

When I had my moods, I learned that I sometimes I need to walk away – go take a walk after saying “lets deal with this later” - to prevent things from getting explosive. When I look back, some of the arguments we had were stupid, mood-fueled events, in no way even designed to solve an issue. No, women can’t lay the only claim to moodiness.

I’m betting there’s a bit more to the story than you’ve posted. I’m not going to just off-handedly say dump him, because (1) he cares enough to be frustrated, and (2) you might just benefit from learning some of his discipline to take care of yourself, and possibly even lessen the moods. I know it’s not a quick fix, and I also know I’m not a perfect diabetic. It took a non-diabetic to get me straight. Just my 2 cents.

Kaydoo 2014-08-09 20:48:45 -0500 Report

My husbands the same way. My attitude is take it or leave it. Your health comes first.
You can't explain it to someone who has no point of reference. I tried to explain the fatigue and the fuzziness of thoughts when sugars are high, he can't understand. Just take care of you

jayabee52 2014-08-09 14:37:11 -0500 Report

I concur with Harlan.

If he as a man has not learned how to be considerate to a lady by now, I would see either a short unhappy relationship or a longer unhappy relationship.

Be unhappy now for a brief period and then find someone who is more accepting of your disease and its symptoms.

Just curious, is this fella a US Marine?

Praying for you


MrsCDogg 2014-08-12 16:07:10 -0500 Report

Couldn't agree more with you and Harlan. I have the best most supportive husband in the world. I don't think we would have ever gotten this far i he had been anything else.

Harlen 2014-08-09 13:54:57 -0500 Report

Get a new boyfriend
If he can't work with you now how's it going to be when there are kids ?
Best wishes