Ever have times when you feel alone? How do you cope?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2014-08-14 02:49:24 -0500
Started 2014-07-20 21:15:56 -0500

I often talk to my clients about how lonely they are. I see that many of our members feel the same way. And this makes me think about all the different ways to feel lonely.

Feeling lonely? And if so, what kind of lonely are you? And how is it affecting you?

You can be lonely because you spend a lot of time alone. Or because you have people in your life, like co-workers, but few if any people who you can sit down with and have a conversation. On the other hand, you can have tons of “friends” that keep your social calendar packed, but nobody that you would feel comfortable sitting down with and talking about what’s really going on with you. And you can be in a committed relationship but still not feel emotionally connected with your partner.

Being lonely can have an impact on your wellness, physical, mental and emotional. Loneliness may be a factor in developing certain conditions like cardiovascular disease. It may have a negative impact on your ability to think clearly and make decisions. And loneliness may affect your ability to deal with stressful events, as well a factor in depression.

I posted an article awhile back on what to do when you’re feeling lonely. Here’s a link:


How do handle those moments of loneliness in your life? Anything you did to bring more supportive people in your life? Need some ideas?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

123 replies

Caroltoo 2014-08-11 13:25:07 -0500 Report

Following the death of my husband four months ago, I have been involved in a time of alone-ness during which I have been looking at who I am and where I want to go with the remainder of my life.

It's been a good time of self analysis and consolidation. It has involved major changes in my employment as I am now going back to being a sex abuse (victim and offender) therapist instead of working with high risk youth in the group home I have managed for 2 years. My goal is a simple one: to help someone each remaining day of my life.

I have reestablished relationships with family and friends that had fallen by the wayside during the 14 years of my husband's journey through Alzheimer's and Lewy Body disease.

It has been a time of drawing inward to consolidate before I am again ready to give freely of myself. It has been a good process, somewhat like what Stuart has referred to. It feels good and balanced. I am alone, but I am not lonely. I live in a world of beauty, acceptance, and peace. It is a good time.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-08-12 20:17:23 -0500 Report

Hi Carol,

It is so good to see you again. We go back a long way, including a few years ago when we corresponded on Alzheimer's Connect. I remember we talked about your husband. I am so sorry to hear that he passed, I really am. I remember how involved you were in his life.

I am sure this has been an adjustment for you in so many ways. And a new chapter. It sounds like you are certainly moving in a new direction, with new ways to find meaning in your life.

I am glad to hear you are reconnecting with people. But also taking time to be with yourself. I agree, alone does not have to be lonely. And balance is so important.

Thanks so much for posting here. It is wonderful to be connected with you again.

And take good care of yourself.


Caroltoo 2014-08-13 13:18:46 -0500 Report

Thank you, Gary.

Yes, I was Wayne's sole caretaker for all those 14 years, so was very involved in his life. Even in the last weeks, he still knew me, which seems unusual for Alzheimer's. He would frequently tell me how much he loved me and how much he appreciated my care. We had a beautiful 33 year marriage. I can only wish others the same joy from their relationships.

It is now time for me to move forward as I am doing, knowing that it is the right thing for me to do for myself, as well as knowing it is what he encouraged me to do even while he was still alive. He was a very sensitive and caring man. I still feel supported by his belief in me. Physically he is gone, but he has left a valuable legacy for me in my awareness of the depth of his devotion and respect.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-08-13 19:06:53 -0500 Report

Hi Carol,

Thanks for getting back to me on my post.

I remember many posts we shared about Wayne and your experiences as his caregiver. I am glad to hear that he still recognized you during his last few weeks.

What a legacy he has left for you. I am sure you are finding new ways to have a positive impact on the world.


Caroltoo 2014-08-12 09:55:50 -0500 Report

Thank you, James. He died on April 2 after coming home from a month of hospitalization to what was described as 2-9 months of hospice care which, in fact, turned out to be 4 days. He was very accepting and it was a very peaceful departure.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-08-14 02:49:24 -0500 Report

Carol, I am sorry you and Wayne had to endure such a long struggle. Praise God he was welcomed home and is now whole.

Stuart1966 2014-08-09 14:36:47 -0500 Report

Hello Doctor Gary

Well said sire, well said!

I suppose I have a different perspective than some. I offer we ARE alone, in our own skin, in our own bodies, stuck with the glue of our own thoughts, beliefs, perceptions.

It is east asian in "flavor" but I contend we must learn about such things, our own glue(s), those things that make life sticky, messy, or just plain jamb us up. Achieve that, get to that point, and "alone" is not bad at all, No more than blond, or 38, or diabetic. They are the same thing. Labels, often judgements, gotta be careful with those we glue to our own skin.

When they get disturbed, just like a band-aid getting ripped off, can be quite painful…

Alone is ok, lonely is a different creature entirely. Have no use for lonely, but alone… no problem going there. The peace and quiet can be quite nice.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-08-10 22:44:32 -0500 Report

Hi Stuart,

Thanks for adding your perspective here. I understand what you are saying. That's a very Eastern perspective and I certainly don't disagree.

I need a certain amount of alone time, which might include a whole weekend at times. Balance is important. And I think we have to be secure in ourselves, comfortable in our own skin. Other people can't give that to us.

Yes, a lot to be said for peace and quiet.

Thank you!


Pegsy 2014-07-27 16:03:33 -0500 Report

Today was one of those difficult days for me. Every Sunday we go out to eat for lunch with friends. It has become more and more difficult to choose a place to eat that we can all agree on and that has a menu I can enjoy. It turned into a big argument today and I lost my temper. This "friend" was trying to give me diet advice when she knows nothing about my condition and how to manage it. My husband and I have decided that we are not going to eat out with this group any longer. My frustration was compounded by the fact that My doctor just added Januvia to the Metformin I am already taking because the Metformin isn't doing the job well enough on its own. This really feels like defeat to me. I exercise and eat as carefully as I can but just haven't been able to get the A1c down low enough. I have lost over 90 pounds over 3 years and I really thought that would reverse things, but it hasn't. (I am officially no longer overweight.) I am so discouraged and these "friends" don't help. One of them has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and he just pops the pills along with his big slice of cake!! I just can't do that to my body.

This makes me feel very alone. My husband is a great support and will stand up for me and accommodate my needs without complaining but around other people I often feel very much alone.

Stuart1966 2014-08-09 13:44:03 -0500 Report

In time perhaps you will have less pain caused by the choices of when, where, what to eat. I realize for some, particularly those who are being zealous, working very hard to change habits, reduce intake, so forth it can be a painful scab.

I understand it, but have little serious experience concerning suffering re: eating or its opposite, "deprivation". A difficult problem to address without personal experiences.

As a T1 of nearly fifty years if the company is what we like, the food is pleasant, but not necessary. If the "barter" is too high such that I just cannot justify/balance what we eat there, at the end of the day my mental count shows too much was eaten… you're probably right, do not go, this time.

Food is not worth an argument. The question becomes was the food the real issue that caused the sparks? Diabetic or not greasy, fatty foods do not help our bodies/ our health regardless.

Pegsy 2014-08-09 14:27:46 -0500 Report

You are so right. The greasy, battered and/or fried foods were our companions' food of choice and the company was not all that pleasant in addition. This past weekend we dismissed ourselves and went somewhere else with someone else and had a wonderful time. I was able to stick to my eating plan and our companions were also delighted with their choices. But the best part was the conversation. I am very glad to have broken the cycle with these other couples. Who would have thought that the company we keep could have such an impact on our glucose numbers, not just regarding food intake but the stress that comes with spending time with unpleasant people.

Kats49 2014-08-02 16:49:41 -0500 Report

I have learned through many years to give people like that a smile and say while i appreciate your advice, I will stick to my Dr. plan. Maybe a bit of a white lie, but usually quiets them down. We can only follow our own path not force others to join us. Hang in there..you are lucky and blessed to have your husband who supports you. Enjoy each others company for as long as you can…

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-29 16:37:55 -0500 Report

Hi Pegsy,

Thanks for sharing this with us. I often talk to clients who are feeling the same way. alone in a crowd. And it doesn't help when one person tries to micromanage your diet while another one isn't taking care of his diabetes.

Sometimes we just have to make hard choices about who can be supportive and who can't, and set limits on how much time we spend with them and under what circumstances.

And it sounds like that change in meds isn't helping. I just want to give you some encouragement here. What feels like defeat might also be a rough spot along the road toward getting your diabetes better under control. After all, this is a process.

Take good care of yourself, my friend. Get lots of support. Keep in touch with us and let us know how you're doing. So glad to hear your husband is such a great support.


Pegsy 2014-07-29 16:46:27 -0500 Report

Thanks for the support and encouragement Gary, I really appreciate it. Right now i am so frustrated. At one point I got my A1c down to 6.6 then it went up to 7.1 three months later and now only back down to 7.0. I am afraid of this new medication and don't want to be on it forever. I just don't know what else to do. I am being more careful about food selection and I am increasing my exercise and trying not to worry so much about it. I know this didn't happen to me overnight and it isn't going to go away overnight. It's just so frustrating.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-31 21:59:35 -0500 Report

Hey Pegsy, thanks for following up. so sorry to hear about your frustration. I understand what you mean. Watching those numbers creep back up can be really disappointing. And new meds can be scary. But it sounds like you are taking it day by day, and doing more to take the best possible care of yourself. I am really glad to hear that. I hope you will not criticize yourself. Give yourself some patience and encouragement. And stay in touch!

Pegsy 2014-08-09 16:04:10 -0500 Report

Thank you, Dr. Gary. I am doing much better, all of a sudden. I have a lot less stress and I think that makes a big difference. My glucose numbers have started coming down and that just reduces my stress and encourages me even more. Not sure what that rough spot was all about but so glad things are starting to look up!

Fairlawngirl 2014-07-26 21:06:42 -0500 Report

I have such incredible difficulties in managing my illness. Changing the pump site every 2 days now. Yesterday, a sugar of 400+ with no change in my diet/activity. I changed my site, went for a nice, long, relaxed wall. My next sugar was in the 40's! Dextrotabs, then figuring out how much insulin I should use for covering my intake. Rechecking a sugar in ~1/2 hr. I hope everyone has a good evening.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-29 16:29:27 -0500 Report

HI! Sorry to hear about those ups and downs. That's rough. Sounds like you have found a way to keep the stress down.

Kats49 2014-07-23 15:03:58 -0500 Report

I am so grateful for this site. It is amazing to me how many amazing and supportive diabetics support each other. BEST of all, there is Dr. Gary who offer us insight and support.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-23 22:05:37 -0500 Report

Hi Kats,

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are one of those amazing and supportive people!!!


Fairlawngirl 2014-07-22 21:59:40 -0500 Report

Folks have heard it previously. Working out, meditation, and interacting with others-eespecially those who have children with them that I can interact with. I miss performing as a pediatrician, however, medicine has changed greatly. In a seemingly difficult setting-insurance, large groups of MD's together and the specialists/subspecialists!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-23 22:05:00 -0500 Report

HI Fairlawngirl!

Nice to see you again. Yes, practicing medicine has changed a lot. And that can be frustrating for patients, too.


Rose67 2014-07-21 23:51:45 -0500 Report

Loneliness, I know I experience it. Not being alone, I have my husband who helps where he can, but his frustration frustrates me at times. Talking helps us. However I call my sister, who is also a diabetic. She really listens to me when I am really down, and cannot pull myself up. She has gone through a lot more than I have. Since I have had rotary cuff surgery I cannot drive, and that frustrates me even more.
My biggest comfort is my faith in JESUS. He does not let me down. He has given me talents and interests I can put to use. Helping others that also have diabetes. JESUS has given me an interest in family history, so my cousin helped get a site going for our families can connect. My talent in Jewelry making and craft shows, where I meet old and new people, who help me feel good about myself. Jesus gave me a grandson who I love and enjoy so very much. He has given me the love of music. I do not play or sing. But I love to listen to a variety of music. I also love to read. He gave me love and life.
It is easy to waste away, and hard to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, but I choose the latter, with the help of JESUS, and others.
I believe God gave each of us a gift. It is up to us to search and find that gift or gifts and use it. You will still get lonely at times, but do not let it defeat you.
Maybe all you can do is read to a child or an adult, then do it. It will make a difference . Anything you enjoy to do will make a difference, because YOU ARE LOVED.

lanykins 2014-07-27 11:26:38 -0500 Report

Rose, you have many talents to keep you busy. Most of all, I wanted to say how glad I am that you have Jesus in your life. So do I, and prayer is what really keeps me going. I've experienced how God answers my prayers and it is always a thrill!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:21:04 -0500 Report

Hi Rose,

So nice to hear from you! Talking can help a lot, letting each other know how you feel, supporting each other.

I am so glad to hear about your faith. That's a solid rock to stand on when life feels shaky! Sounds like you have been blessed with talent and interests that keep you involved in life. Excellent!

And yes, finding a way to make a difference in our corner of the world is a great way to feel connected with people.

Thanks for sharing this!


rolly123 2014-07-21 22:34:51 -0500 Report

I hate be alone, I get lonely that I can't stop thing about what goes wrong, I need be around friends and family! I'm so afraid everyone I love is going leave me and be bymyself ! I hate being in house without someone their! Also. When with family feel out of picture, everyone marred with mate and I don't I don't go places with many friends! I surround myself with someone friend or family ! I text a lot play games with friends talk on phone I used 1700 minuets in one month with friends get lonely a lot scares me I play with my two dogs they keep me feeling safe my friends who I stay with keeps me company we talk for hours

Pegsy 2014-08-09 16:08:34 -0500 Report

I don't like to be alone either. I get out of the house often just to be around other people. It doesn't matter if I know them or not, I just don't want to be home alone. I didn't used to be that way. I used to cherish time alone. Maybe because I didn't get much of it. Now it is the opposite extreme. At least it keeps me motivated to be busy and involved rather than a couch potato.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:24:01 -0500 Report

Hi rolly,

Good to see you again! Sounds like you have found some good ways to help deal with loneliness. Staying connected with friends, having pets, are all good! We have to look around and see what we can do to help ourselves feel better. And you're doing it!


Kats49 2014-07-21 20:45:20 -0500 Report

I can be lonely, I find I experience it more since my beloved died. there were so many issues we talked about, topics to share, life to live and discuss. While I have a family, it isn't the same. However, I still feel it is up to me to either wallow or swim. So I swim, it is too easy with this disease to get depressed. The more I share with this group, the more empowered I feel, less lonely and better able to tackle what ever comes my way. Then there are those grandchildren, to whom I am a role model…they can take a way a bad mood daily!! How I handle my issues affects them as well. They all are so intuitive, especially the young ones…lol

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:29:23 -0500 Report

Hi Kats,

Thanks for checking in, my friend. Life is never the same when we lost someone so close to us. Nobody can make us feel the way they did.

But as you said, we can choose to move on with life, to connect with people who can be there for us, not in the same way, but in a way that helps us to feel less lonely. Support is power!

And I am sure your children and grandchildren recognize what a resilient person you are. And they benefit from observing how you deal with life's challenges. That's called inspiration!



Rose67 2014-07-22 10:16:51 -0500 Report

Sorry for your loss.
God blessed you with several grandchildren, and the are a great joy. And they and you are all blessed and can learn from each other.

Poodle gal
Poodle gal 2014-07-21 18:38:32 -0500 Report

I can certainly relate to feeling alone—-As a former Air Force wife I have found myself in many locations and situations feeling as though I was looking through a clear glass window watching other people having fun…It is easy to feel alone, but your tips on getting out and meeting other people is right on the money!!! I finally decided to get involved in every community we moved to and make some sort of difference. This has been the best way to stay engaged in life and feel connected! You're the best, Dr. Gary!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:32:25 -0500 Report

HI Poodle gal,

It has always seemed to me that people in the military really learn how to adjust to new situations, and to get out and meet people. We can benefit from those challenges, as you seem to have benefitted. Giving yourself that push to get out and be among people pays off. You contribute to your community and you make friends. Excellent!

Thanks for your kind words! You are pretty amazing, yourself!


karen7t2 2014-07-21 16:04:16 -0500 Report

I feel very alone on my diabetic journey. My husband says it's my own fault I have diabetes and he has no interest in learning about it. He often barbeques and loads my food with barbeque sauce and always has cakes and cookies setting around, knowing that I haven't got much willpower. I feel like I should be ashamed
because of having t2d. Without the emotional support, it is a struggle and a lonely journey

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:34:45 -0500 Report

Hi Karen,

I am so sorry to hear you are getting little or no support from your husband. I don't understand why people behave this way, another one of life's mysteries, and disappointments.

This can't be easy on you, with all those temptations around.

You are not alone. I hope you will stay in touch with us!


Rose67 2014-07-22 18:21:24 -0500 Report

No one ever chooses to be a diabetic, and do not feel ashamed, here you are loved and supported. Your will power will come with time and just saying no. It sounds simple, but it is not. My husband did, the same my first year, however he is getting better and adjusting. I think they use the blame game, to ease their own guilt, because they do not want to adjust themselves. This effects the whole family. I had a hard time with the will power, but am much better at it now.

ReaderReader12 2014-07-22 07:44:11 -0500 Report

Karen, i heaped plenty of shame on myself in the beginning. Not anymore, I am taking back control over my life and it is wonderful. I am doing things I never, ever thought I could. Start with something little and totally do able and work up to the harder changes. Find support, any place you can. Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and say something positive out loud to you about you. Every single change you make can be a building block and solid foundation for the next and bigger change. I wish you the best every single day.

Kats49 2014-07-21 20:54:30 -0500 Report

Karen, you have emotional support at this site. Not as good as family support, but then if they won't educate themselves, then it is up to you. I applaud you for sharing with us..that's a great first step to empowering yourself!! I still have friends who get confused as to what T2 really is..so don't despair…find a class you would enjoy taking…really helps with the loneliness and fun. Even my swimming gets me around people who have positive attitudes and that alone changes your life.

BB42 2014-07-21 18:22:13 -0500 Report

You have nothing to ashamed of! I've not a lot of understanding for people who are not able to support their loved ones. It was real hard for me in the beginning. The more will power I developed, the more proud I became of how I was handling my T2D, and the less I had to depend upon others. My really good friends have been so helpful.

haoleboy 2014-07-21 15:17:21 -0500 Report

thank god for family!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:15:19 -0500 Report

Having a supportive family is truly a blessing!

haoleboy 2014-07-22 22:53:05 -0500 Report

I found that after my stroke many 'friends" (particularly men my age) were stand-offish. Some were just unsure what to say or do … but others I think that it really scared them, a "there but for the grace …" type of thing.
One guy that I felt I had a close relationship with never called or came by to see how I was doing. Ever. That was 19 months ago. Last I heard he moved to Arizona. Odd.
But my family stood by me. My sisters offered financial assistance and emotional support. My son and his wife … well … we now live with them.
So for me it is all about family (as it should be)


Kats49 2014-07-23 14:59:35 -0500 Report

I had a dear neighbor who was also a great/good friend. He passed away two years ago in his late 80's.
He had a stroke five years prior to that. He had several friends who stayed away…at the time I found that to be odd. Through a different counseling group for something else I learned that many people who are near the same age find the issue VERY scary. SO they distance themselves..men more than women. Bill and his wife had no family, and I stepped in and was able to do much for them. Another neighbor took care of them as well, she did his medications daily and watched the food intake. She would tell me when they needed food. I am a GREAT shopper. I enlisted the aid from my church to take care of housekeeping. We all did this out of love and respect for Bill. His wife Lorena had been suffering from dementia for many years. He was the main caretaker for her. WHOA! Guess I needed to vent whoops…My beginning point was while we can't always understand peoples reactions, even families, God has a way of sending in help.

ottersonrem@gmail.com maerceci
ottersonrem@gmail.com maerceci 2014-07-21 15:12:30 -0500 Report

im going through a lot of what your talking about lonleyness is a big factor in my life and it has been a long 6 months that I decided that something had to change in my life , I stayed in my room for monthe only to come out and eat ,bathroom I hadent even dusted the house ect ect ect !! so I new something had to change I was barley even eating and not enough fluids landed me in the hospital with IV bags of fluids heart rate tacky,it really scared me this time ,I would coach my self into doing one thing a day to get out of rm long story short, ist now been 2 months and doing so much better , My BS have been in the range of 90 to 114 or so making sure I stay hydraded Depression isn't something to play around with get help ,I did, lonleyness im working on ,Thanks for the topic Dr.Gary ,And I also know im not the only one going through this,God bless you all !!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:14:56 -0500 Report

Hi ottersonrem,

Thanks so much for checking in with us. You are an inspiration. Such a great example of taking a look at your life and deciding to take action to make improvements. And it sounds like you are moving in a much more positive direction. One step at a time.

You are not alone. We are right here with you!


Trudie Ann
Trudie Ann 2014-07-21 14:04:48 -0500 Report

Thank you for the post and for the link. I used to feel that way once upon a time. I haven't felt lonely for a long time now. I hope and pray I never do again. I have found that even when no one is with me I am not alone. I am always with me, and my faith. I am with my family, my children and my grandchildren. I am with all the people I have loved in my life and the memories we shared and my beloved pets. Prayers for all who need them for you are not alone. We have all been there, so we are with you.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:12:33 -0500 Report

Hey Trudie Ann,

You're welcome! And thanks for checking in. You bring up a really good point. We can still feel the connections we have with people even when they are not physically with us, people who are at a distance, and people who are no longer on this earth.


lindy733 2014-07-21 13:14:54 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. I handle by going to a walk with my dog kanito. I also spend quality time with my crochet hook and favorite yarn if I run out of yarn will go yarn shopping to my favorite crafts store where I get much inspire, I also cope by cooking delicious low fat meals. I enjoy my lonely moments.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:10:42 -0500 Report

Hey lindy, so nice to hear from you. Pets are great company. Having crafts and activities you can enjoy on your own is also a good way to deal with loneliness. We can be good company for ourselves.


Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-21 12:28:39 -0500 Report

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with".Wayne Dyer

Dr. Gary another great discussion. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I think both are based on the choices each person makes.

I am my best company when I am alone. It gives me time to put things such as hopes, dreams and actual things into perspective. In other words it gives my brain the opportunity to regroup and regenerate my thought process. Everything that I have put into a category can be separated and looked at individually.

When I feel lonely, I simply pick up the phone and call friends and family. Go on Facebook and chat with both friends and family or go outside and chat with neighbors. This morning before breakfast, I went across the street to have my coffee with a neighbor who was sitting outside with her coffee. By the time the coffee was gone there were six of us laughing, talking and enjoying the cool summer morning. On my block, if we don't see each other for a few days, someone is bound to ring the bell just to check to see if we are okay.

In 2000, I had to quit my job to take care of my mom. With three other people, I helped form a community association that is still going strong today. Just when I could return to work my dad got sick and passed away. Moms health deteriorated and I was home with her. I filled my time with community work and going back to school. Mom died before I graduated.

You have to do things to fill the void. Join/start a book club. Meet neighbors, Go to fairs and festivals. Even if you go alone, you are bound to meet someone you can talk to. Get involved in your community/church. Take a class and learn something new. Find a hobby that you will enjoy. There are so many things you can do to meet people and make friends.

You don't have to feel alone or lonely unless you choose to do so. I do not make that choice. I can always find something to do or someone to spend time with and have some fun.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:07:57 -0500 Report

Hi Joyce,

Thanks for your kind words, and your insights.

I really enjoy my alone time, and I schedule some each week, usually on the weekend. I need time to be alone to think, catch up, read, walk, rest. It's how I maintain my perspective on life.

I always think of you as a person who lives life on life's terms. Taking care of parents, getting your education, even starting a community organization.

And it helps to be resourceful when you are feeling alone. There are lots of options out there, we just have to open up to the possibilities, and give ourselves a push here and there. Some work required.

Thanks a lot!


elizag1 2014-07-21 11:05:33 -0500 Report

I pick up the phone and try to say something nice to a friend..
Actions speak louder than words too..so I mean to say I get out to walk and,
really try to exercise everyday, maybe do videos from the computer too when
it is hot outdoors.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:02:38 -0500 Report

Hi elizag, good ideas. Reach out and touch, as they said in the old AT&T long distance commercials. Stay active, do things you enjoy. Gary

RebDee 2014-07-21 09:08:45 -0500 Report

I am always close to my phone and can call a friend to talk about anything and nothing. I have two dogs who pay close attention to what I have to say and even though I know they don't have any idea what I am talking about, I can dream that they do as they listen so attentively. Being alone is not being lonely. Being alone can be a wonderful time to do work you couldn't do when friends are around, reading a book, watching tv, computer work (such as now). Being lonely is a state of mind. I try never to feel lonely. There is always someone to talk to. Maybe I just go outside and talk to a neighbor or someone walking their dog. More likely is to call a friend.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 21:59:22 -0500 Report

Hi RebDee,

You have a great attitude. We all need people in our lives, but we also benefit from spending time alone, relaxing, enjoying solitary activities, and listening to our own inner voice. Balance is everything.



Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-21 12:32:03 -0500 Report

Reb, I agree with you. As long as you are willing to make friends and find things to do, you won't always feel alone or lonely. I can always find someone to talk to. My neighbors and I sit out on warm summer evenings we talk and some of us are Facebook friends so we play Words with Friends. I take a walk around the block and stop and chat with my neighbors along the way.

There are so many things people can do if they make an effort and choose to do something besides wallowing in being alone or feeling lonely. It is all in what choices you make.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-22 22:01:39 -0500 Report

Joyce, I agree! Look around and see who's there to talk to, make a new friend. It may mean taking a step out of your comfort zone.

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