I went to my ENT surgeon yesterday. He said the site was healing nicely and to expect to be sore and a little swollen for a few more weeks.The good thing is the scar cannot be seen unless I hold my head up.
Bottom line is that there is no muscle movement on the right side of my tongue. It will take the nerves around a year to fully heal. At that time I may or may not have to see a speech therapist. Because of this, my right eye will tear at times but that will clear up as my face heals. He will not release me until next year. That sucks because now I can't get a job. No one will hire me because I can't speak as clearly as I did before the surgery.
Talking can be a problem because my tongue gets tired and my words slur and I get a really bad lisp. This makes it hard to talk on the phone to people who are not familiar with the problem.
Eating is still going to be a problem because of swallowing. I also now have to use a straw for drinking. It is easier to control liquids with a straw than attempting to drink from a cup. Drinking coffee is an adventure because I have to take very tiny sips to prevent burning my tongue or getting too much in my mouth. There is no feeling on the right side of my tongue,
I came home very frustrated and angry. I don't know why so I spent most of the day crying. This morning i got up refreshed. I decided that today is a new beginning. I am going to make the most of this. I don't think I will be comfortable eating in a restaurant because i have to cut food up into tiny pieces. I can't eat bread or boiled eggs or anything that is going to get soft and stick to the roof of my mouth. It will not look good having to push food to the back so I can swallow and I can't use my tongue to remove it.
I am going to stop skipping meals because eating was frustrating. If I don't feel like eating I am going to add a bottle of muscle milk to fill in. My primary care doctor fussed because I am losing weight too fast so I am trying to add more foods and eating more food.
Do I regret having the surgery? I did but I know that with the infection beginning to spread, I could have been far worse than I am not so i no longer regret all that I am going through. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and I am going towards the light.
I see so many people on this site who don't like being diabetic. Well I don't like not having the ability to speak properly but I do have my life and I am going to continue to do all that I do and I am not going to look back. Each and everyone of us can accomplish anything we choose to accomplish. All it takes is patience and perseverance. .
This morning my only aunt who is 85 years young and never stays home called. I told her what happened. She said play James Cleveland's "No Ways Tired" (old gospel hymn) and listen to the lyrics. I did and I got a whole new level of energy and i am going to do all I can to make the best of my situation.
I listened to these lyrics
I don't feel no ways tired,
I've come too far from where I started from.
Nobody told me that the road would be easy,
I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me.
God didn't bring me this far to leave me and I am going to keep going no matter what.
Again thanks friends for all of your kindness and prayers.
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