Support

21Rose'syearsT1
By 21Rose'syearsT1 Latest Reply 2014-08-09 03:05:10 -0500
Started 2014-07-16 15:50:41 -0500

I really hope I'm not the only here without support. I don't have any support at all from my families and I don't have any friends. Some times when things get rough and there's no one to help really make me want to give up. Then I realized that one day I will find someone who will be there for and who will care for me. I cannot do it alone. For 21 years I've been struggling with diabetes and the older I get the harder it is for me to deal with it.


24 replies

Mandy1985
Mandy1985 2014-08-09 03:05:10 -0500 Report

Most of the time family doesn't understand what I have to go through everyday to manage my diabetes. Then they want to know why I'm moody or frustrated when my diabetes is either too high or too low, or even when my neuropathy starts acting up. I've been told that those I've talked too is that they wouldn't do anything to handle what I have too do, I said it's very hard and frustrated when you don't get the results you want for the day or it hurts when you have to give yourself multiple shots a day.

My mom has been my best support out of my whole family. Without her I probably wouldn't care so much about managing my diabetes.

Kats49
Kats49 2014-07-24 10:07:16 -0500 Report

Rose you found the right place…I understand your frustration…my husband was T1. His mother couldn't understand what he could or could not eat…so when we went out to visit in Minnesota, I cooked and she ate with us. That kept issues at our control and didn't hurt her feelings. I have found great strength in volunteering and using this site. When I help those that are worse off than me, I feel better. I have found so much love and support here. I am a T2, developed after my hubby passed in 2004. Guess I spent so much of my life taking care of him, my health went south…My kids still think Dad's diabetes was worse than mine…lol It took me a while to make comments… had to make sure it was a reliable and honest site. I have found all the information and discussions very informative. You will too!

robinsab
robinsab 2014-07-21 23:06:51 -0500 Report

You have a friend in me! Feel free to contact me anytime to vent/chat. I'm 32 years old and have been type 1 for 31 of those years so I know what it can be like to be frustrated/angry/hopeless. Having just one person to talk to can make a huge difference and here you have an entire community to support you :)

niña diabética
niña diabética 2014-07-19 23:25:25 -0500 Report

I love the support I see on this website…
#offtopic…
but before I found this website I was thinking about suicide because I felt diabetes ruined my life but now knowing im not alone really helps…
is it bad I feel more support from you complete strangers than my own family and friends?

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-19 07:44:27 -0500 Report

Hi Rose,

Nice to see you! I am sorry to hear you don't have any support at home. I see that you have received lots of replies to your post. You have lots of support right here!

Are there some local groups that you can get involved with? Volunteering? Or a religious group, a church? Finding people to spend time with can take some work but it is worth the effort.

Stay in touch with us! You are not alone!

Gary

Pegsy
Pegsy 2014-07-18 12:43:40 -0500 Report

You are not alone. My hubby tries to be supportive but he really doesn't understand and he gets frustrated. My grown kids often forget that I am diabetic and it creates problems when we visit them and I have to bring my own food because I can't eat what they eat. I don't rely on anyone to take care of me. I realize that I have to take care of myself and I make the best of it. Just hang in there and do the best you can. That's all any of us can do. At least we can come here and vent about it and find SOME understanding and compassion from a few others who are in the same or similar circumstances.

eristar
eristar 2014-07-18 05:50:22 -0500 Report

Rose, you have support here, if no where else. I know just how it is; when my husband was able to got out and do things himself, he would bring me home lots of candy as gifts - which needless to say was not appropriate, my son seems to feel that any illness is in the head of the patient, and my daughter, who is a nurse, encourages bad eating choices for me "just this once". Please hang in there - and know that you can always come vent to us. We all know just what you are going through!!!

Gripper907
Gripper907 2014-07-17 20:14:25 -0500 Report

Hi Rose, you are stronger than you think if you have been dealing with diabetes for 21 yrs. You will find encouragement and support here in this forum. There is plenty information on the internet in general and here at diabetic connect.
While it is nice to have family support it is not easy to convince others that you need to have a change of life once you have diabetes. Most of us have lived that reckless life we called normal. However the dynamics change once you become a diabetic. But you really need to come to terms with yourself first and do for you. It's not a selfish thing it is recognizing reality and accepting you in a somewhat different light.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2014-07-17 16:16:54 -0500 Report

Hi Rose! You're definitely not alone in this. My advice would be for you to learn as much as you can about what YOU can do to control your diabetes…it's not going to go away, so we've all had to figure out how to live well with it. I've lived with my Type 1 38 years now. I test 8 times a day, and have been using an insulin pump since 2011. I was on MDI before that. I've adopted a low-carb diet (120 total grams per day) which gives me better control and lets me live a good quality of life. As chronic diseases go, diabetes is one that can be managed quite well with the right choices. If you have any specific items you need to discuss…bring them on…the members here have a great diversity of experience and may be able to offer some helpful tips. Wishing you well.

HelloKristi
HelloKristi 2014-07-17 08:12:44 -0500 Report

I'm lucky that my hubby is more supportive than I want sometimes. But here you find awesome non judgmental help from people who know the struggle. Keep your head up and take care of yourself for you!

Rose67
Rose67 2014-07-17 07:25:58 -0500 Report

I also know the feeling of loneliness. My husband is there most of the time, but he has choosen not to be informed about any of my illness. He eats way more than he needs to, and not enough of the healthy foods. Days I have to cook 2 different meals. It is frustrated for he needs to watch BS. I do not have any one to really talk to for support, until recently. Diabetes runs in family, but we do not really talk to each other. My younger sister and I have recently reached out to talk about it. She does not live here but in another state. Thanks to the internet and cell phones, we stay connected.
My husband has no choice but to drive me where I need to go with my health issues, but makes no bones about the fact he does not want to. I feel so helpless, because I cannot drive myself yet.
The only friend that is truly there for me is JESUS, all the time. He goes through this with me. He also knows what it was like to have no one, not even his father. But JESUS promised us that he will not leave or forsaken us. We can call on him at any time. I take great comfort in that.

rolly123
rolly123 2014-07-16 19:32:12 -0500 Report

I understand about no support! My mother had it for many years most her life I got it thought be good to support each other she didn't want it I didn't want it so we were against each other! My oldest brother and sister didn't get it they don't get I t but one died my sister loves me and if I said no sweets she say it's okay because she know I don't take seriously we all need someone who has it to understand what we need go through but Joyce is right in way we need take responsibility for our illness and not let other do it for us we don't take it serous nobody around will not help us we don't help our self I came on site for help support if other feel understand me I also got a lot hard critical also but helped me understand to take this serous my mom dad two grandparent great grandparent died of complication back way back they didn't understand it like we do today but both b parent didn't take it serous they had dylisis and died complication I don't want end up that way thanks to those that didn't sugar coat it for me but still helps me thanks so hang in their u get a lot good advice her get some friend here and talk to them and keep with u concern and give some how handle things we are all here help each other hang in their welcome aboard

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-16 17:45:14 -0500 Report

Hi Rose long time no see. In all this time I see nothing has changed. Remember saying this back in December? "I Wish I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't have to wake up at 1 in the morning to check my blood sugar. I hate the fact that every time I go on a date my date always act weird when I check my blood sugar". There is your problem right there. Why should someone have to disturb their sleep to wake up to check for you. It is your disease not his.

The fact is you don't want to take care of yourself. You want others to take responsibility for your diabetes for you. No one is going to support you because to you diabetes is a game you play. Odds are your sister stopped supporting you because she realized you are only using her. People will support you if you make an effort to help yourself. If the only reason you want a boyfriend so he can wake up in the middle of the night to

If you relied on your sister to support you and she stopped, it could be that she realizes that you are only using her. What you have done is failed to take responsibility for your diabetes. You want someone else to be responsible. That is not going to happen.

You don't have friends because they too realize that you are using them to only be supportive of you. When are you going to take responsibility for yourself?

You choose to make diabetes hard only because as long as you view it as too hard for you. What you really want is for someone to take care of it for you so you don't have to do a thing. One day you are going to wake and realize that the reason why you have no friends and the reason why your family won't support you is because you will do nothing to be self supporting.

Sherelle112
Sherelle112 2014-07-16 18:50:34 -0500 Report

Rose, unfortunately there are some rude, bitter ppl in this world… and Joyce is one! Don't let ppl bully you into thinking that your feelings aren't valid, bc they are!
I'm sorry that you don't have support from family or friends! I honestly think that ppl just can't understand until they're in this situation. I used to think my family members were CRAZY for not controlling their diabetes! But after being diagnosed a yr ago I realize that it's hard to deviate from certain patterns & ways of life… but at the end of the day it's sooo worth it!! YOU are worth this battle that you're fighting!! I have my moments, but God doesn't give us more than we can handle and he knew you were going to be a fighter!!! You never know who you journey is inspiring!! Whenever you need to vent, most of us are hear to listen! Please keep your head up & ignore any and all negativity! Some ppl feel that they are speaking the truth, but sadly they're pathetic!! Hunni, misery LOVES company, but let them live there alone!!!!!

21Rose'syearsT1
21Rose'syearsT1 2014-07-16 18:01:06 -0500 Report

What I'm saying is that I don't have anyone. My sisters don't even know what diabetes is they don't even try to learn about it. I never make excuses in my life. The reason I post here is because I know we all can relate when it comes to diabetes but I didn't know I was here to be judge.

diabeticdummy
diabeticdummy 2014-07-16 17:00:38 -0500 Report

Oh darlin you just jump on this web site when you need an answer or just wanna vent something we all understand and are there for ya support from my family is good but they do sometimes need a break and don't fully understand some of my moods but they'll get over it but you'll meet allot of interesting people here all nice but direct way friends should be so welcome

robertoj
robertoj 2014-07-16 16:10:16 -0500 Report

I'm fortunate to have a wonderful wife but she doesn't always understand. My family doesn't give much support. I don't blame them as I have been fiercely independent since childhood. I get most of my support here.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-07-16 15:57:58 -0500 Report

Sad to say, you are not alone without support. There are many members here who face the same struggles as you are facing. We will do our best to help you through and be the support you need.

My family has drifted away from active support. They don't really want to eat what I cook anymore and things have crept back in. Its not that they don't love me, but that kind of sacrifice has proven to hard for them. My husband always says if he became a diabetic he would die because he hates to eat healthy. I am constantly trying to find a middle ground to work with them. There are days though, when I wish I just lived alone.

21Rose'syearsT1
21Rose'syearsT1 2014-07-16 16:35:51 -0500 Report

My sister used to support me bit they stopped.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-07-16 17:18:30 -0500 Report

Yeah, I think in the beginning they are all on board, but as time goes on and it doesn't go away...they want to go back to how they used to be. It is disheartening, but I get so much support here, I am "okay" with it.