Simply tired

Bittershweet
By Bittershweet Latest Reply 2014-07-13 06:22:45 -0500
Started 2014-07-07 22:52:21 -0500

Well I didn't get my pump back this time around which I think is really ignorant but hey doctor knows best right? Anyway I'm just honestly bummed out about so much that I can't even begin to pull myself out of this slump. I am stressed to my limit. My sleep has taken a major hit with nightmares included. I don't want to tell my friends or family anymore cause they don't understand and think it is just a simple fix. My control is pathetic and my motivational drive to get better is even worse. Just over half the time I don't want to try anymore and I hate that. I know I want and need to do better and when I start to its like everything and everyone is against me. I just don't know what to do anymore.


6 replies

Bittershweet
Bittershweet 2014-07-13 06:22:45 -0500 Report

I appreciate all the responses and I can relate to all of them. I know I control my own outcome and I also understand that some people aren't able to receive the same as me such as the pump. I know people live without them the problem I have is that is I was doing better with the pump which was the main objective of my doctor. Because I hit a bad string of luck with other medical issues it was taken away that's why I am upset cause it is a go figure kind of thing. I'm not oh woe is me and feel sorry for me I need attention crap I just needed to let it out. I was just venting although I do want to just quit at times I'm not going to cause for one it's not even nor will it ever be and I have no intention on it either. I just haven't found my own niche yet. I will and hopefully soon. But like I said I do appreciate the inputs. Thank you everyone.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-07-09 22:35:19 -0500 Report

Hi Bittershweet,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so frustrated. I really am. Sounds like you have hit a rough patch and are having trouble pulling yourself out of it.

You might be experiencing diabetic burnout. This is something that diabetics can experience. Here is an article I posted awhile back with some ideas on how to handle diabetic burnout:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-information-articles/general/410-five-tips-to-manage-diabetes-burnout

You might want to do a search in Diabetic Connect for some great discussions on this topic.

This is a good time to get support so I am really glad you reached out. That shows that you are a resilient person! And I hope you will put one foot before the other, as others have suggested, and get back on the path to taking the best possible care of yourself.

You might also want to consider talking to a mental health professional about how you are feeling, to get some perspective and some ideas for coping. Don't go through this alone.

Stay in touch with us, my friend. You are not alone.

Gary

AAHN
AAHN 2014-07-09 05:06:44 -0500 Report

Hi Everyone…I can relate…for me it's about the work involved to prepare for meals… It's the pricking the finger… Sometimes I prick myself before meals and not afterwards That's not good because I have not learned enough about what carbs or how much carbs are good with whatever insulin I should use. My family have no real knowledge of what I go thru and I have not tried to educate them, except to tell hubby 'Don't mess with me and what I do or don't do about my diabetes'. Not a good thing to do He gets a little scared which turns into anger/disapproval and that gets my goat. But yep… I am the captain of my ship… I hope that you have already begun to raise up
Amy

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-08 13:12:16 -0500 Report

All I can tell you is this. You and only you are going to have to dig down deep and pull yourself up. Everyone in the world can listen to you and support you but only you can save yourself from yourself.

You choose to be stressed instead of find a way to stay in control. You choose to not be in control because that is an easier path to travel, you choose to give up rather than try. You choose to believe everything and everyone is against you. Giving up is always easier but it will never ever benefit you. So things aren't going the way you want them to go. Think about it how many people do you know actually cares? The questions they are asking themselves is what are you going to do about it. When you feel that everyone is against you, that can be taken in several ways. Maybe they are waiting to see what you are going to do or they have offered you suggestions that you have rejected. People will help people who are willing to help themselves and as long as you play the woe is me game your friends may not want to help. Sometimes you have to look at how you are reacting to others who might want to do nothing but help you.

So you don't have a pump anymore. There are people who want them and can't get them yet they are doing all they can for themselves. Did you take care of yourself prior to the pump? If so why can't you do that now? I wanted to be 5'11 and 125 lbs. That won't happen so I make the best of life.

Every one of us is blessed in some shape or form. I count every blessing I have no matter how big or small. The one thing I have learned in life is this. Whining and complaining about what I don't have won't get me what I want. I suffered with depression and stress for years until one morning I woke up and said I am so sick and tired of being stressed and depressed I could scream. I thought the entire world was against me.

The choice is yours. you can wallow in self pity or you can go out and do something special for yourself. Get your hair and nails done. Call a friend and take her to a movie if you can afford it. Get some new make up, buy that pair of sandals or a new summer dress. things without your pump. You will feel better about yourself and you will still be healthy. People live without pumps everyday and are enjoying life. Good luck to you.

Bittershweet
Bittershweet 2014-07-08 10:12:38 -0500 Report

Thank you I'm not normally this down and out person so being this way is even more devastating. I know I can pull out of this funk but I just feel like everything is against me and I don't know how to get pass that. Love the quote also

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2014-07-08 07:39:30 -0500 Report

Hi Emerald! You've got to dig deep inside of you to find the strength you need to make the right decisions…the choice is YOURS to make and well within your power. We can provide support and listen to you and hopefully help you find that strength…we've been there. You are not alone! Although I'm not a religious person, I love this quote by St Francis of Assisi: “Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”