OT I'm so stressed and scared

By sparkysmom Latest Reply 2010-01-02 01:15:59 -0600
Started 2009-03-19 21:38:49 -0500

I was out all day shopping and doing chores that have gone undone since I have had the flu crud stuff. Around 3 I got a call from Hubby's Aunt. She lives over on the other coast and is in a total panic. My MIL had called her 3 times today and was making absolutely no sense. Aunt called paramedics and then me. I tried calling MIL and she was totally incoherent. I rushed home. The paramedics were here when I got here. They talked to MIL and told me to call her DR and have her tested for dementia. Dr will see her tomorrow. Now I am in a total panic. I don't know what to do. I can not take care of her. I'm not using my diabetes as an excuse but I have multiple other medical problems. In our state if there is a living child that child has to pay for nursing home costs. We owe everybody now. My medical problems have put us so far in the hole I'm afraid to answer my telephone. She has lived with us for over 20 years. Her other son and DIL won't do anything to help. They had a falling out a few years ago. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just so scared and stressed right now.

20 replies

sparkysmom 2009-04-06 09:19:10 -0500 Report

Sorry I haven't been arouind much. MIL is makiing me nuts. I'm afraid to leave house for long. Dr did CT scan and memory test. We get results tomorrow(Tuesday).
She has lived with us for over 20 years. I'm about at the end of my rope. My BG has been running high and was 253 the other day. Long story shortened…I called her other son for help. They are going to LET her come visit foe 2 weeks if I bring her. They have a house that is 4X the size of mine and a maid that comes in 3x a week and say they can't keep her with them. So BIL came up on Greyhound this week and I am taking them both home Easter Sunday. 600 miles round trip but worth it. I need time with just Hubby and no added stress.I will try to come around more.

Splender 2009-04-06 10:45:31 -0500 Report

Sorry to hear that you are having so much stress put on you like this. You really do need a little quality time with hubby. You also need a little time to be by yourself to re-group and get yourself together. I hope they will let or should I say keep her much longer. In fact have you thought to tell him that your doctor wants you to have less stress so your prolems especially your diabetes is too bad to have her back in the house? If you have to use your medical problems to have her family take over caring for her——there's nothing wrong with that. I would especially since your so tired and run down. If you can please let me know what happens and if you are going to see what you can do about your stress problems. If there is anyway I can help even if it's just listening to you vent I'll be happy to be there for you. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YOU KNOW WE ALL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU!!!!


sparkysmom 2009-03-27 19:03:35 -0500 Report

I just want to say how Thankful I am for all of you. Your prayers and advice will help me through this time. I Thank God for the people that put this site together and for all the wonderful people who have joined it. I will be here as I am able,

Frustrated mom
Frustrated mom 2009-03-24 14:56:11 -0500 Report

I know this is not good for your stress level…In your state is there any assistance for the elderly? Maybe they could help. I know every state is different I will keep you in my prayers. I am not sure that I could take care of my MIL mentally, physically or finacially…1st thing please take care of yourself…


Nancye37620 2009-03-20 13:10:40 -0500 Report

I know this is a terrible time for you! Please be strong and try to focus. Don't let the added stress cause you to become ill. Added stress can be so hard for a diabetic to deal with. When you speak to her M.D. ask him to assign a Case Manager to work with you and your family to assist with all options. Most Case Managers at all Hospitals know programs available to assist in the special needs of each patient. Once you have someone to help you plan,it will be easier. There is help for you it just takes a caring professional to lead you in the right direction. If you don't find someone you trust and can work with don't hesitate to ask for a change of managers or even a second opinion if you want another M.D. opinion. It is your right to the best care for your family. Also search online for special programs for dementia patients. There are some great sites that may offer assistance also. I will keep you in my prayers.

daniel velazco
daniel velazco 2009-03-20 17:00:41 -0500 Report

Please don't get yourself all stressed out. As a lot of us know when your Diabeties gets out of control it can cause other medical conditions and lord knows we don't want that happening. Just
wait for the test results and pray for the best. We are all family on this site and you can count on us for prayers for you and your family. So please don't get yourself all stressed out, I will be praying for you and your MIL.

sparkysmom 2009-03-27 19:01:31 -0500 Report

Thank You for the advice. Her dr said to wait til after we get results from a CT Scan they are doing tomorrow. My Internist said if hers couldn't help to let him know and they would try and help us. Our next DR appointment for her is on the 7th of April.

sparkysmom 2009-03-20 12:44:47 -0500 Report

Thanks Everyone. The Dr is sending her to get an assessment for dementia next Tuesday. I am in contact with the family and we are trying to work something out where I am not the only one having to deal with her.

highlandcitygirl 2009-03-20 12:39:01 -0500 Report

i am so sorry that you are having to deal with such a stressful situation! i pray that you will recieve comfort, peace and help at this time. i am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Blooter 2009-03-20 11:56:35 -0500 Report

First let me say I am sorry about the stress you are under. Second your MIL may be suffering from a UTI that is common in the elderly and will play havoc with their mental status. This can come on in just a matter of a very short time, but can also be taken care of quickly. Also if she is on Medicare and needs nursing home care they will cover most of the cost so please calm down, take a deep breath and know there is help. Good luck to you and your MIL

olbeck 2009-03-20 11:28:19 -0500 Report

yhere is so much stress in life,i moved my mom in 2 years ago, she has started going downhill, but, i am herefor her and love her ,just take one day at a time,ask the lord for help,thats all we can do. i wish you the best of love and hope.

BeckyJ 2009-03-20 10:58:31 -0500 Report

SOOO sorry to hear that your MIL is having a rough time of it. Also concerned about you. Hopefully the doctor will have some advice for you on the situation. Also you may want to contact the local Department on Aging in your area. They can assist you with any questions you may have and also if it is necessary for your MIL to go to a nursing home they can help you with possible funding options. Just remember that God is on your side through this and will see you through. God bless and my prayers are with you all.

lipsie 2009-03-20 08:00:55 -0500 Report

First, I worry about your stress level and your sugar spiking due to it if you don't calm down. I know that's easier said than done right? Just remember, take a breather…remember you DO have friends here that are very supportive as much as we can bee. You have been thru the ringer lately for some reason, there has to be a end result of good coming soon for you my goodness hun. We are all here for you so vent ANYTIME you need to, that's what we are here for. We all stick together and work things out as we can and that's what makes us all beautiful people and a awesome site. You seem to be a VERY strong women, I believe in you so just slow down, breathe…and play the waiting game unfortunately and definately keep us all undated, we all will be waiting to hear from you. *Hugs* Sheila

2009-03-20 07:28:08 -0500 Report

Jackie, wow you have been hit with a lot at one time. You can only do what you can do. I'm finding out that 90% of what I worry about doesn't even happen. Just try to be positive as hard as that can be. I wish I had a magic answer, but I don't. Just know you have plenty of friend here to support you. Vent all you care to! I will be thinking about you! Hugs, Angie

vgarrison 2009-03-20 01:43:29 -0500 Report

I know there isn't much I can do from where I am, but I am a Home Health Aide. I deal with alot of Dementia patients in my line of work, if you need any ideas or advice let me know…I will be glad to do what I can.

Let us know what the doctor says…please.

Blessed Be

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-03-20 00:30:25 -0500 Report

I know this must really be upsetting to you. You have so much to deal with youself that you certainly do not need this as well. Hopefully her doctor will be able to give you some guidance about what your options are. Try not to worry until you've spoken with him or someone else who knows the ins and outs of having her placed in a nursing home, if necessary. In the meantime, know that I'll be praying for all of you. Once you've seen the doctor, please give us a report.