As many of you know my emotions have been on a horrific roller coaster lately. I KNOW it is a problem and I KNOW it has caused me to say things that I probably wouldn't have said in the manner I did if I weren't so stressed. This has become an issue at home causing extremely heated arguments between my husband and I and some that the kids have witnessed sadly. I also find that I am responding to certain comments on discussions inappropriately or I fire off without thinking it through taking too much to heart lately when I shouldn't. I think I have it under control only to find I have yet again offended someone or hurt their feelings by how I respond.
We haven't had the funds for me to go to a doctor for a number of medical issues I myself have and a lot of money has had to go to transportation and such for our daughter and just hasn't been there to take care of my own needs. I have also neglected my own diabetes for so long that I am pissed at myself because now I'm finding what I should have been doing all along doesn't seem to be working now as a good treatment as it did before. Most times I don't even realize how emotional I get, depressed, angry, upset, even combative until after the fact and then all I can do is apologize, and I seem to be doing a lot of that lately which just frustrates me that much more. The things I cannot control outweigh the things I can and that just makes it worse. I'm not trying to make excuses for my behavior but please know I am truly sorry if things I have said affected anyone here in a negative way. I think it best if I just stop commenting for awhile until I can get my act together. Thank you all for being there for me and for my family too and when I get a better grasp on reality and my own life I'll come back to this site, none of you have done anything or said anything to me to deserve such behavior and it won't happen anymore.
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