Binge eating

angelkoala
By angelkoala Latest Reply 2014-07-04 19:52:47 -0500
Started 2014-07-03 16:53:23 -0500

I struggle with my binge eating, which I know doesn't help my diabetes or weight loss. I'm particularly vulnerable at the moment due to being bullied in work (by my line manager), which has caused an unbearable and stressful work environment when she is around. This triggers my binge eating, amongst other things. I know I need to stop but don't know how to. The more I do it, the worse I feel and do it even more.

I'm a type 2 diabetic, but I think the doctors got it wrong as I don't feel unwell, that I'm aware of.


8 replies

gurrere
gurrere 2014-07-04 04:00:46 -0500 Report

sorry for if no one whats to do anything about it you look for a new job i know its hard out there geting a job

angelkoala
angelkoala 2014-07-04 04:07:43 -0500 Report

My problem is I have no confidence or self worth, no one is going to want me and I wouldn't even get past the first stage. I need the job as it provides routine and structure which is important for someone like me.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-04 19:46:19 -0500 Report

The boss knows you have no self confidence or self worth and she is going to continue to bully you until you get some. No one is going to want you because you believe that.

When I was working as a manager and I sat in on interviews, we never hired people who projected lack of confidence or self worth because we knew from hiring people who had no self confidence couldn't handle the job.

No one is going to give you self confidence or self worth. If you don't believe in yourself NO ONE is going to believe in you.

angelkoala
angelkoala 2014-07-04 03:28:13 -0500 Report

One of my problems is that I do fight back, and end up in trouble for trying to defend myself. When I sought help I went to her boss, and HR are involved, but they all seem to be siding with my line manager and I've been lost in the whole thing. It's become all about making line manager happy, seems they couldn't care a less about the bullying - she's not even been asked to tone her behaviour down!

I have tried to contact my union, with little success. They haven't responded to my emails. The thing that gets me is that 4 other people within the unit reported bullying (from her) just over a year ago and the problem was turned back on them too. Surely HR should realise there is a problem?

My line manager is very good at manipulation of people and words, and twists things. I'm trying to stand up to her but no one believes me!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-04 19:52:47 -0500 Report

I also was a union shop steward and I know from experience people who do not document what happens and can show the ability that they are going to stand and fight, usually wins when the union steps in.

Have you checked your spam folder for a response from them? Sometimes if their email address isn't in your address book, the mail goes to spam.

If you don't document what she says and does to you with dates and times, that can go against you because you have to be as accurate as possible. If possible contact an attorney who specializes in employee/employer law. You might be able to get some advice. You can also contact your local Equal Employment Opportunity Office and see what they say. I agree with gurrere, you should start looking for a new job but until you gain some self confidence and self worth you are more than likely always going to be bullied.

Why can't the you and the 4 other people join forces? Sometimes if more than one complains at a time this can help. Good luck to you.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-03 20:04:25 -0500 Report

I would be in Human Resources filing a complaint about my supervisor. I would also document everything she does. I don't allow anyone to bully me even if it is a boss.

I agree with neverlow, you have to reprogram your eating habits. The doctors may not have gotten it wrong, the problem could be that you don't want to listen to them. Even depressed people can get to a point where there depression is comforting to them. When that happens therapy can come to a standstill.

neverlowbg
neverlowbg 2014-07-03 19:01:21 -0500 Report

Sounds like you need to talk to your hr dept about your line supervisor if he/she is causing you that much stress and a hostile environment binge eating is coping mechanism that's not that good you need to reprogram that habit maybe see a phycologist about it good luck

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-07-03 20:12:27 -0500 Report

Never, I do not understand for the life of me why people allow bosses to bully them. There are people who are bosses and to throw their weight around they bully people. However, the people they bully are never the ones they know will not stand for it.

The boss has a boss, put your complaint in writing to the boss but make sure your ducks are in a row. Write down everything the person does or says to you. note the date and time. Do not keep the file in your desk or locker because it is company property and they can search it whenever they choose. Make copies. If nothing happens keep going to the top. You may lose your job but you will have grounds for a lawsuit.

I did that only because as a union shop steward I knew what to do. I did get fired. I filed a grievance and won. Went back to work, they offered me a buy out. I took it under legal advice then sued. They lost the lawsuit.

Bullied people get bullied because they won't fight back. If they did, the bullies would leave them alone.

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