A closed cycle .. Can't get out

By Anonymous Latest Reply 2014-06-20 21:55:46 -0500
Started 2014-06-20 04:23:10 -0500

I'm diabetic type1 for four years . I'm really starting to get depressed . I'm facing a great problem which may end up with me by entering the ICU for the third time :( that's starts with just eating any sugary food like chocolate . It spikes my BSL and I feel like I wanna eat more. I'm in an interpersonal conflict..: if I take extra dose (in case of eating sugary or any carbohydrates) I will gain weight!!!!. I know that people may think that ' but u r destroying ur body.' , yes that's right but I'm obsessed with my weight. I may skip dose in order to reach ketoacidosis and Then I start to lose weight. I know that sound stupid, but I'm telling the truth and I'm describing what I think during eating sugars .I used to take novorapid and levimer. And I may not eat at all at this period and thus I was allowed to not take novorapid dosage and that's why I was losing weight easily. After that I switched to lantus instead of levimer for 2 months or so. I started to notice that I'm putting on weight and that made me feel bad and made me eat more ( emotional eating) I told my doctor about this and I went back to levimer . But unfortunately I was started to get used to a bad habit which is —— loving food — loving to skip dose— loving to reach ketoacidosis . I went to hospital last September and i determined and promise myself not to enter this cycle again . I stick for that promise for a month then I get back to bad habit and closed cycle of thinking. Eating more.. Skipping … Lose eeigr obsession. Last march I went again to hospital and promised myself the "fake promise" and the doctor switched me to take novomix 2 times per week . now I'm experiencing that I'm entering this cycle again. I searched for anyone who is feeling and doing the same way and I found that it's a condition that's called diabulimua.. But I swear I'm not bulimic I never throw up what I eat but all the other symptoms of diabulimua is the same as mine . I'm really feeling depressed cause I used to be able to manage my BSL but now I
Can't . I walk almost daily or 6 days per week for an hour or more. I rally want to recover from this these days . I want to hold myself up. I need motivations from people and tips from u Anyone can help ??

3 replies

haoleboy 2014-06-20 21:55:46 -0500 Report

As a former 300+ pounder (now 157 as I write) it took me a long time to figure out that I actually had a strong addiction to food and was eating for all the wrong reasons. "Fortunately" I had a stroke and spent about 3 weeks in a rehab clinic where I had time (and help) figuring this out.
I really believe food addiction is a huge, but little understood problem in the first world these days and I think a contributing factor in the explosion of diabetes in the past few decades.
Just like drug and alcohol addiction, food addiction can be tough (if not impossible) to beat without professional help … for diabetics this can be a life and death scenario so I would suggest getting some professional help ASAP.
here is a bit of reading : http://goo.gl/GQlW8


jaydoubleyou23 2014-06-20 15:46:04 -0500 Report

The cycle is not going to end if you're not willing to help yourself. I understand it's hard to accept the fact that taking insulin will make you gain weight, but it's better than being sick your whole life. And I promise you that if you do take your insulin and bolus for every single meal while keeping a balanced diet and a moderate exercise routine, you won't even gain that much weight! Honestly, I'm one of these "hardcore diabetics" I guess and I pride myself on checking my blood sugar and bolusing constantly because my goal is for my blood sugar to be below 140 at all times, and I have not gained any weight at all. I promise you it's way more fulfilling to be healthy and feeling great than to be a walking zombie because or being scared to gain a few pounds.
Best wishes!

neverlowbg 2014-06-20 11:16:40 -0500 Report

SEE A SHRINK not to be mean but sounds like you have mental issues and that's causing you to lose control of bg I mean I've been dka in icu twice and yes the weight lose was nice but playing at deaths door to do it and wanting to do it you need some therapy before you kill yourself please seek help for your mental thinking of all the issues you described above in your post