Sister in Denial?

Graylin Bee
By Graylin Bee Latest Reply 2014-06-14 12:09:10 -0500
Started 2014-06-12 06:51:19 -0500

Tuesday night with The Cake Lady this week only included two of her daughters this week. But was still eventful.
Sister #1 casual mentioned she wasn't looking forward to her annual physical. Seems on more than 1 occassion her Dr. has been concerned over an elevated BS level. She dropped this tidbit just as the waitperson brought our meals.
After the interruption she said it must be because of jet lag. She'd had her physicals just a few days after flying halfway around the globe. She was sure he'd find it high next week.
The Cake Lady (aka Mom) thought she had said BP and stated that made sense because her BP is high when she is stressed.
I asked if she had meant her blood glucose.
She said yes.
After a slight pause, I suggested it might not be the cause. Then asked if she might need to modify her eating like I need to. She listened as I told her potatoes, bread, and grains make my BG go high.
My normally based in reality, very sensible sister said "But that's what the airlines give you on long flights."
Then she changed the subject.
I did not have a chance to ask if the Dr. was basing his concern on an A1c, a finger stick, or a ouji board.
Later after pie (most of my piece is still in the fridge to enjoy a spoonful a day until hubby steals it) I was tempted to offer a finger stick for her each time I checked mine over the next 2 hours…but resisted.
She congragulated me when I celebrated that my highest reading was 116.
Maybe today before she boards the plane she'll think to take along a few supplies like I did when Mom and three of her daughter's went to the Rose Parade this year. Sis #1 and I were roomies then.
Both her in-laws had uncontrolled T2 complications when she was assisting them near the end of their lives. She has a good understanding…but denial is common when it becomes T2 personally.

27 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-06-14 12:09:10 -0500 Report

Hi Graylin Bee,

It's always great to see you. And what an interesting story.

The Cake Lady is such a good nickname. I hardly ever eat cake but that doesn't mean I don't crave it. I can only imagine how that cake must taste! And another example of how we show love through food.

It's hard to watch someone living in denial. It's all to easy to make food selection someone else's problem and not taking responsibility. I haven't heard poor diet blamed on the airline industry before but it does make sense in it's own way.

I hope your sister decides to take a close look at her own potential for T2 and does something about it. In the meantime, hopefully those gentle nudges in that direction will help.

Thanks for sharing this!


Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-06-13 18:36:21 -0500 Report

Graylin had not heard any Cake Lady stories in a while. I hope your mom is doing great. I hope your sister comes around.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-13 18:44:46 -0500 Report

Mom is still making people happy through cake.
Her family has grown by one 12 year old who almost failed his pre-adoption test. The child actual suggested just getting a grocery store cake for his post adoption party. After a test of The Cake Lady cake at a Tuesday night he came around and is now her oldest great grandchild. We all think he chose wisely.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-06-13 19:14:31 -0500 Report

I agree. I would love to spend the evening with the Cake Lady and one of her cakes. I can eat cake now. it is soft does not require a lot of chewing and has enough carbs to keep me from going low.

Grimpy56 2014-06-12 10:42:30 -0500 Report

I hope your sister comes around. I had a hard time as a kid only 8 yrs. old and told I had a disease ( diabetes ), But I found out that the sooner you learn that diabetes is a fact of life the sooner you start to live.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-12 12:01:04 -0500 Report

Medical challenges as kids are real tough.
It wasn't until my third surgery in four months the other year that I understood why my sister could barely cope with entering a hospital. I had spent several weeks in their earlier in the year. Then had 2outpatient surgeries with only moderate anxiety. But when they wheeled me into the room for a few days stay after #3 I had to take myself down from a panic attack. My sister had spent an entire semester of her 9th grade in the hospital with Rhuematic fever.

Jan8 2014-06-12 09:31:19 -0500 Report

Denial is such a strong coping mechanism . I know many people who go through this for a long time. it's a shame.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-12 11:52:11 -0500 Report

Yes, I see it with both residents and their family members at work. I am hoping after some of the other stress she is dealing with eases up she will take some time to do a little research on her own. That's how she normally handles things. She is usually not one to avoid things.
I'm just hoping she can get started dealing with this while her BG is only a little high and not after complications can start.

Jan8 2014-06-12 13:06:23 -0500 Report

I hope she gets with the program. The good thing is that she is a person who usually one who doesn't avoid things.

wraithmb 2014-06-12 09:08:37 -0500 Report

It's always tough to watch friends or family go through something like this. Trying to avoid a diagnosis so that they don't have to "live with the problem". As of late, I have come up with an analogy. Looking after yourself with diabetes is a lot like alcoholism… We deny we have anything wrong, we don't want or need help because we can manage it ourselves, but eventually we hit rock bottom and realize we need to make better choices. For some of us, this is never a problem. For people like me, it is a problem for years, and one day we wake up. For some, the problem goes to their grave. The problem is that until we want the help, we *will not* take it. Sometimes the best we can do is suggest, and wait for them to want the help…

Type1Lou 2014-06-12 11:50:08 -0500 Report

I love the "Serenity Prayer" adopted by AA. It's a great guide to dealing with diabetes too!

wraithmb 2014-06-12 11:58:35 -0500 Report

It is a good one for sure… I like the 3 c's too… Modified slightly for diabetes: you don't cause, you can't cure, but you can control!

Vhm 2014-06-13 10:41:34 -0500 Report

With type 2 behavior is a large part of the issue, so cause and control are in large part personal choices/actions.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-12 11:42:26 -0500 Report

Denial is a condition I know too well. I tried that with my legs when they were swollen. Waited until it almost killed me before getting to the Doctor. I am afraid my sister my have the same denial gene.

GabbyPA 2014-06-12 08:32:33 -0500 Report

Well, once she gets past the denial stage, she will have access to great assistance if she wants it. I know you will find a way help her out.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-12 08:37:53 -0500 Report

I hope so, if she is. She has really been there for me these last several years. I really don't know if I would have made it this far without her.

jayabee52 2014-06-12 08:17:47 -0500 Report

sounds ro me that cakelady may have a bit of denial about her daughter going on herself

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-06-12 08:30:09 -0500 Report

I think Mom heard BP instead of BS.
She has had bad hearing for most of my life. Got my 1st dog for my 10th birthday because she was having ear surgery and couldn't throw a party.

tinkerbell54 2014-06-12 07:29:25 -0500 Report

it's hard to try to control people who don't care to listen to us. I should know I have a teenager who is over weight & she is non-diabetic but if she does not watch it she could since I am her mother & I was a over weight child, overweight teenager & adult .all we can do is tell them if they don't want to listen than is another matter in its self. someday they will listen but as to when. Ruth Tinkerbell54

Type1Lou 2014-06-12 07:17:19 -0500 Report

We cannot control other peoples behavior. The best you can do is set an example and hope she comes around. Both my daughter-in-law and her Mom are Type 2's and take oral medications. After my grandson's college graduation, we all went out to dinner. Daughter in law ordered Fettucine Alfredo while her Mom had Fried Oysters and French Fries. I ordered a dinner salad, mentioning that I was limiting my carbs to keep my blood sugar in check. I love them and get along well with both. They are intelligent people and I don't understand why they don't take better care of themselves.