Newly Diagnosed and losing control of my life

Alaskan Golfer
By Alaskan Golfer Latest Reply 2014-06-11 13:00:11 -0500
Started 2014-06-04 00:56:24 -0500

Hello everyone, I am very recently diagnosed Type 1 and cannot seem to manage my emotions in the slightest way. So a little about my story on discovery. I was going through an emotional breakup with the only person I had been in a significant relationship with since divorcing 11 years ago. I was losing significant weight (which i did not have to lose) and simply struck it up to stress, that is until EVERYONE seemed to be making a bigger deal of it than I, myself was. Well, then my eye sight began to get pretty fuzzy. I had always had 20/20 vision and never had I seen an eye doctor in my life. So in I go, pretty sure I needed a pair of glasses as I was aging. Everything changed of course with the news that it was in fact something more than simply aging. This was about a month ago, and I am interested to know if others have felt an incredible sense of loss and depression during their early diagnosis? I have not handled my breakup with the least amount of grace or dignity and have done things that are so out of character I don't even seem to know myself. I have lost the opportunity to have a friendship with this person and have pushed away others that did not deserve it and made it difficult for them to support me. I feel an incredible sense of lonliness and loss. It is atypical for me in the extreme. I miss EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and don't know how to stop this emotional roller coaster. I cry at the drop of a hat, cannot stay focused at work and often just leave early (oh, I work with the person whom I now have a broken relationship with) I am confused on if this is BS related, the loss of a relationship, or BOTH. My BS seems to be unmanagable, I have not had pump training so cannot have an alarm at night and have this fear of going low while sleeping, I have had 3 or 4 "low" episodes where I became very shaky and yet other times my Bs was well over the 400 range. Please tell me if these are normal feelings and emotions for those newly diagnosed or am I simply going crazy??


9 replies

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2014-06-11 13:00:11 -0500 Report

IF you were not emotionally shaken-up after all this SOMETHING would be VERY very wrong with you!

Diabetes does NOT start every breath, of every sentence. Sometimes we are diabetes AND other things all at the same time.

Lows are a important part of this process, we have a disease brother. If our bodies were working as they were supposed to our BEST guess routine calculating dosages would not be necessary. Lows can and will happen. The TRICK is to not let them become a regular habit!!!

A little more food before bed, a bit more fat, plus some extra carbs should crush any middle of the night lows, or any potential for them too for that matter. So a couple pieces of cheese, and say a single extra serving of some type or kind of bread/bread like food… a piece of fruit could work instead too.

Diabetes can certainly cause strong emotions. The diagnosis, the side effects or very low, or very high sugars literally shut off parts of our brains which under normal circumstances would get filtered, or you'd catch yourself.

Not ALL strong, passionate emotions are caused by sugar however. Sometimes you can be pissy, cranky, mopey, enraged, etc., etc. AND diabetic at the same time.

Don't sound crazy to me, just a tad overwhelmed with a boat load of issues happening at the same time

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-06-05 07:02:19 -0500 Report

Diabetes plays with emotions way before you even know you have it. It makes us "not ourselves" and is often a missed symptom of diabetes. I know it might seem to be a cop out, but you can blame that for a lot of the things you did and didn't seem to know why. It can be the start of mending.

Getting a chronic diagnosis is always emotional and for it to happen on top of everything else just made it worse. Like grief, we go through so many of the same steps. Maybe take a moment to just breathe...take a bit of time to regroup.

Is there a way you can get away for a few days, buddy up with someone you trust and devise a plan so you can have a "go to" idea when things get bumpy? Both with the relationship and the glucose levels. I find that having something in place to give me a direction can help when I feel lost.

Alaskan Golfer
Alaskan Golfer 2014-06-04 20:19:37 -0500 Report

To all those above/below (can't quite figure out where this reply will end up), your support, advice, stories and kind words have helped immeasurably and I cannot begin to describe the uplifting effect it has had. From the forgiveness of self as described by Mr. Haoleboy to Dr Gary's heartfelt sincere welcome and article link, to both Type1Lou and Jayabee52 sharing their stories and advice on mending fences in time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have searched for Diabetic support groups in Anchorage and will be attending one shortly. Seeing people and hearing stories, similar to my experience will feel like being at home, in a supportive, caring environment. Until then, I am grateful that I have stumbled across this site.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-06-04 23:10:23 -0500 Report

Howdy again AG.
if you look closely you can see a "reply" link below each post. There is also a "edit" link below each of your replies, so that if you made a mistake or needed to correct a misspelling that is available to you.

God's best to you..

James Baker

haoleboy
haoleboy 2014-06-04 14:46:54 -0500 Report

Along the lines of Dr. Gary's excellent advice here is a post I made to my blog a couple weeks ago :

Dealing with a chronic illness/condition can be incredibly stressful. It seems, at times, that the mental aspect of dealing with a disease that you know is never going away is the hardest part.
Here is how I have been attempting to cope …
-Don't worry about the past. Knowing how you got it ain't gonna fix it.
-You are not alone. Reach out to others for help.
-Learn as much as you can about your adversary (in this case your disease).
-Focus on what you can do at this moment to make yourself as healthy as possible.
-Be forgiving. Start first by forgiving yourself.
-Be loving. Start first by loving yourself.
-Be patient. Take baby steps.
-Meditate daily.

_/\_
Steve

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-06-04 13:55:32 -0500 Report

HI Alaskan Golfer,

It's good to meet you. I am glad you found your way to Diabetic Connect..

My heart goes out to you, my friend. You have been dealing with so much.

I am not a physician but I am a therapist and I work with clients who are living with chronic conditions. What I can tell you is learning that you have a medical diagnosis can take a big hit on your emotions. Lots of emotions can come up -- fear, anger, sadness. You used the word " loss" and that is a very good word to use. Receiving a medical diagnosis is experiencing a loss. A diagnosis means you won't be living your life the way you thought you would, and life will never be quite the same. A diagnosis means change. And when we lose something, we go through a grieving process. You are in that process right now.

You also used the word "depression." Feeling depressed is the result of feeling helpless and hopeless. And a diagnosis can leave you feeling like you don't know what's happening to you or what to expect in the future. You've had some scary symptoms that must have felt like they came out of nowhere, so it's only human that you would feel this way. But if you are depressed, then that's just the depression talking, telling you how bad things are. .

Now, let's take a look at what's possible.

First, you sound like a very self-aware person. That's a gift. And you reached out for help. That shows that you are also a resilient person.

I really encourage you to reach out for help from a mental health professional. The symptoms you described could be symptoms of depression. And diabetes and depression often go together. A mental health professional could assess you for depression and give you some ideas on how to get help. Depression is treatable. Here is a link to an article I posted awhile back on depression:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-information-articles/general/425-depression-and-diabetes-5-steps-toward-better-mental-health

If you aren't sure where to start in getting help, then I would recommend talking to your doctor and letting him/her know how you are feeling.

I also encourage you to reach out for support. Get in touch with friends or family members who might be able to be good listeners. Try to spend time with people who care about you. Let them know how you're feeling.

Stay connected to your life. Diabetes means change. But it doesn't have to define you. You are still the person you have always been. So try to stay involved in the things you enjoy, even if you need to make some modifications. In other words, instead of focusing on what's not possible, try to focus on what is possible.

Again, keep in mind that you are going through a process that is a lot like grief. The grief process is different for each person. But what is important is to let yourself feel how you feel. If you feel angry, sad, scared... let those feelings out. They are only feelings. When you let yourself feel, you also move forward in coming to an acceptance of this new chapter in your life. Go easy on yourself. Don't criticize or blame yourself. You are dealing with a lot.

Give yourself time to deal with the challenges of being newly diagnosed. That's also a process.

I encourage you to stay in touch with your doctor. Work closely together. Don't hesitate to ask questions and alert your doctor to concerns. Get educated. If you can meet with a Diabetes Educator, that could also help. Knowledge is power.

And stay in touch with your friends here on Diabetic Connect. This is the most supportive diabetic community on the planet Earth!

Take really good care of yourself. Take things one day at a time. And stay in touch with us, my friend!

Gary

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2014-06-04 13:40:02 -0500 Report

I can relate since I was diagnosed Type 1 at age 27, six months after separating from my first husband. (That was 38 years ago!) I was working in a stressful job as well (but hubby-now ex- wasn't working at all). I also probably found it easier to accept my diagnosis since I grew up with a diabetic Dad who managed his condition quite well given what was available to him at the time. It sounds like you are using a pump? I started pumping in 2011 but do not use a CGM. It took several months to get the settings on my pump right. A good book to help understand diabetes is Gary Scheiner's "Think Like a Pancreas". In 2010, I was diagnosed with depression which appeared to be caused by low vitamin B12 levels. Have they checked your B12 levels? Our diagnosis IS a life-changing event but arm yourself with knowledge. Learn as much as you can about diabetes and what decisions you can make to better manage it (like counting and limiting your carbs). For me, counting carbs is a key component. I try to limit my daily carbs to 120 grams. With the breakup and diabetes you've been hit with a double-whammy…take one-day at a time…and one step at a time…and you'll find you'll gain control.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-06-04 10:10:49 -0500 Report

Howdy AG
WELCOME to DC
sorry you qualify for this shindig but since you do I'm glad you're here.

I doubt you're going crazy, but you might feel like it for a while (at least I did)

Quite often people who have newly Dx'd diabetes (of any type) have emotional problems. From what I recall of the time when I was newly Dx'd it took me about 2 yrs to get back to a more even keel. (my emotions erupted in periods of depression and in anger.) Of course you may experience shorter or longer periods of disquiet. That depends on you and your situation - and your Blood Glucose (BG) levels.

You are in a rough patch in your life. That on top of your Dx of T1 and the BGs in the 400s do not help you.

Perhaps if you'd like to try to mend the fences with those you've pushed away it would be good,
However, it would be best to get your BG levels under control and back in the "normal" range of 80 to 120 mg/dl. Then you might be back on a more even keel again. And do not hesitate to use the services of a mental health counselor or therapist should you feel the need That is not the sign of a crazy person to undergo therapy but it is the sign of someone who will be mentally healthier for it.

God's best to you and yours
James Baker

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