I know you all cant come help but please pray I can die in my home..and go Home to Dan.
I have decided to have an initial meeting with Sparrows Hospice. I doubt that Im ready.. but I think I have ph more than mildly or this disease is moving faster than they though/think. I was treading online last night..I googled "the stages of pulmonary Hypertension" I found a site that was quite helpful..it broke the disease down into symptoms and when they come in 3 different stages. As I studied it…and I had also talked to my family doc yesterday..I have more symptoms than I knew. I believe I am near the end on stage 2 and the beginning of the worst stage…#3. Just want to keep you all informed.
Im having more breathing problems…this is a lung disease after all. Im gaining weight which is fluid.
I also need to ask. if any of you ..and this is a BIg request…would any of you be willing to help care for me and help Chris care for me..she cant do it alone. hey, I could use more help now…just dont want to go inpatient and when I talked to one of the people this morning…it sounds like I might need to provide people.. to take care of me..
I realise this is a big request… but the thought of going inpatient.. is just unthinkable to me…I have a right to die where I want to. I want to die right here. in this bed… Please help me if you can, if you cant physically…than please pray or whatever you do.
honestly people I dont believe it would be good for me to go inpatient..I couldn't take the cats and toki hates hospital worse than me. I dont think It would be good for me ..the thought of it just makes me absolutely panic
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