By 1USAmaddog Latest Reply 2014-05-05 21:10:45 -0500
Started 2014-05-03 20:23:29 -0500

So many worthwhile people…so little time! I'm finding it to be a very major stressor - trying to determine who to designate as "friends." If I refuse to accept someone will they feel rejected and how might they deal with that distasteful feeling? Being who I am aware of myself to be, I will have to give some serious thought to this process. I totally dislike hurting people in any manner! I have been rejected many times in the past and am too well aware of the subsequent feelings. ALL of you - please understand that I still care for you and support you in dealing with your challenges whether you are designated my "friend" or not.

10 replies

IronOre 2014-05-05 21:10:45 -0500 Report

Actually I like what he wrote.
Some people look at the word "friend" as something special, and others look at it as just a word.
I like when it is used for something special, not just a person that is nothing more than a font to somebody else.
One person below has 6000 "friends", in my opinion that really devalues the meaning of the word "friend" . . . at least by the definition I go by.

number 2
number 2 2014-05-05 09:27:30 -0500 Report

I don't believe this should be a friend network, I should be able to scroll, and find someone suffering the same issues I am that day and message them, and maybe just talking to anyone would may help the struggles; instead of waiting on someone to accept a friendship request.

haoleboy 2014-05-05 16:17:58 -0500 Report

your friend status does not affect your ability to view discussions. "make" friends or "don't make" friends … up to you and really makes little to no difference.
I look at it as members whose points of view I find interesting and making "friends" gets me an email notification when they start a new topic of discussion … to me that has value.

Which reminds me that I need to make some more "friends"


Nick1962 2014-05-04 18:29:20 -0500 Report

I’ve never really bought into the social media type friend program. I’ve only made a few friend requests which probably explains why my list is under 200 – and about half of those no longer participate, and only half of what’s left do I regularly communicate with. I guess I just have a more than casual definition of the word “friend” which it what it seems to be used as here.
You know the old saying… “A friend will calm you down when you are angry, but a BEST friend will skip beside you with a baseball bat singing “someone’s gonna get it””

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-05-05 07:41:44 -0500 Report

Nick, I love that saying and posted it on my Facebook page. The problem with making friends on social media is that you really don't know who you are friending. I know all of my friends on Facebook. They are family members, former coworkers or people I have known for years.

I know a lot of friendless people. They don't have friends because they don't know how to be a friend. People don't get it. Not everyone wants to be your friend and not everyone is going to like you or love you.

Someone on this site didn't like what I said to her and had the audacity to ask me if I had friends in the real world. I have lots of friends but I also have friends who will either pay my bail or sit in jail with me. If you are my friend, I am the one skipping beside you with the baseball bat and someone will get it.

I simply cannot stand people who create their own problems, create drama, whine and complain or won't lift a finger to help themselves we won't be friends. If you don't like that I speak my mind, or that I bang my own drum or live up to your expectations, I am not going to be your friend.

However, if you like the same things I like and are willing to try new things, and don't think everything you encounter in life is scary, then we will eventually become friends.

Nick1962 2014-05-05 09:04:27 -0500 Report

Yeah, I guess I still adhere to the traditional meaning of “friend”. If you’re not someone I’d associate with in real life, I’ll probably not be your cyber friend either. Nothing personal, just not everyone can be friends with everyone (and in some cases, they shouldn’t). Like you (well, like all of us I think), I have little patience for certain personality types, as those types no doubt have little patience for me. Luckily, my cast of friends is diverse enough to keep things interesting – from mere “acquaintances” to “help hide the body” friends.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-05-04 13:59:34 -0500 Report

Hi 1USA, I agree with James. I have made a lot of friends. I have a few who no longer come in to chat because people have been very nasty to them. However, they still stay in contact with me.

I have not accepted a friend because I had never seen them and I had no idea who they were. I believe people will either like you, love you or hate you. Even in a real life community the same applies. You cannot make anyone be your friend, like you or love you. That is simply a fact of life. If people reject your friend request do not take it personally, try making other friends. Personally, I do not care if people do not like me, I don't care if they hate my guts and i certainly do not care if they don't talk to me. My life does not revolve around what others think. I always bang my own drum.

Believe me on this site, you will find and make friends. Life is short, if people don't accept your friend request, they were not meant to be your friend.

jayabee52 2014-05-03 21:21:09 -0500 Report

Howdy 1USA

Sorry you qualify for this shindig but since you do, i'm glad you're here.

At last count I have over 6000 friends. (it's been a while since I've been able to access my profile due to a software glitch). I get new friends all the time, most I invite to be friends, some invite me. I accept everyone since I like to be able to reach out and contact someone by email since some things are better to discuss privately, like "I think so and so is trying to sell you something by saying what s/he said." as it saves a lot of harsh words on the discussion pages.

A lot of the folks I befriend will email me back and we will get to know one another a little bit, but then the emails drop off for a while. When someone thinks of something they can't or don't want to share on discussion posts they will PM me and we discuss it.

I have not regretted being friends with anyone here.

So I ask you to not fret yourself about accepting or inviting others to be your friend. If someone does give you trouble (seeems quite rare here) you can always

go to their profile and find a checkbox which says report and unfriend (screen name) and click it to check the box and unfriend them.

God's best to you and yours
James Baker

Next Discussion: Fitbit may have saved me! »