Doctors help us heal. Words can help, too. Are you using healing words at your house?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2014-11-13 23:01:35 -0600
Started 2014-04-29 15:31:04 -0500

Can words promote healing?

To answer that question, first think about how you feel when a loved one makes an offhand negative comment to you, or when you have an argument, and the words go flying in the heat of the moment.

Or even on those days when you are seem to be avoiding each other as if you each existed in a different universe. Brrrr… it’s cold in here.

Upset? Stressed? Sad? Resentful? Alone?

Now, think about how you feel when you hear words of kindness. Most likely, a whole lot better.

Accepted? Cared for? Loved? Respected?

And what about when you are the one saying those kind words?

Words can heal. They help you relax. They give you a sense of well-being. They even produce those positive hormones that can make you feel warm all over.

And that’s good for you, emotionally, physically, spiritually.

So why don’t we use more healing words when we talk to each other? Good question, right?

Here is a link to an article I recently posted under Living with Diabetes:

And here’s a question for you:

So what if you didn’t wait until the heat – or the cold – of the moment? And made the decision to use those healing words every day? And maybe added a few more? What would life be like?

How are you using healing words at your house? Any ideas to share? Need a few ideas?

Let’s be more kind to each other. After all, we’re all in this together.

34 replies

karen7t2 2014-11-09 11:28:54 -0600 Report

Several years ago I decided to smile at everyone at work one day. As the day went on I felt I was a magnet attracting people, male and female over to my area. I spent the day feeling more joyful and blessed than I had in many years. I had a few reactions as to why I was smiling. Some people were rather paranoid. lol It was definitely a good experiment and experience for me. As I am recalling the positive feelings, I will try it again. :D

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-11-13 23:01:35 -0600 Report


That's a great idea. And look at what it accomplished for you. I wish more people would try the same experiment. The world would be a kinder place. Thanks for sharing this.


jigsaw 2014-05-03 08:22:12 -0500 Report

Dr. Gary, this discussion definitely caught my attention! My wife and I recently had a talk about the same subject. I have been focusing in this area, for some time now. Trying to be more aware, and sensitive when it comes to others, is a goal that I have been putting a substantial amount of energy into. Realizing that others can perceive words and incidents so differently, can certainly complicate matters, when it comes to understanding. I've worked very hard at understanding my wifes feelings in particular, and nourishing them as much as possible. I may not be the best in this area (-; , but after 35 years of marriage, I've come a long ways, and still improving every day.
Great discussion, and a very important one also!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-05-03 22:17:14 -0500 Report

Hi jigsaw,

Thanks a lot for checking in, my friend.

We all benefit from exercising kindness, taking the time to think before we speak and consider our words and their impact. It takes practice, one day at a time. Perception is reality, to the other person, even if it is not the reality we intended. We do our best to be kind, and apologize when our words are misunderstood.

We are all practicing, we are all human. I am sure your wife appreciates that you are putting in the effort.


Tony5657 2014-05-03 05:32:36 -0500 Report

Thanks Dr. Gary for this discussion! I've learned that our words are VERY powerful. They can bless and heal or maim and kill. As a Christian, I've also learned that words to and from God can and do "move mountains and work miracles." I've seen and experienced that over and over. Positive words can bring strong blessings of joy and healing both to the speaker and the receiver AND negative words can bring strong curses also to both the speaker and the receiver. It's up to us to "watch our mouth," so to speak. :o) Speak love, life, joy, peace and healing and you'll bless and you'll also be blessed.

There's an old book by Norman Vincent Peale called "The Power of Positive Thinking" that helped open my eyes to this decades ago. Positive thinking leads to positive speaking. AND this book is still for sale for .99 cents at! (I have no financial interest in this.)

Again, thank you Dr. Gary for blessing me. Tony5657 in New Braunfels, TX

karen7t2 2014-11-09 11:15:19 -0600 Report

Hi Tony. I have read this book too many years ago and it was a turning point in my life. I have shared the effect it has had on me to some people whom I thought it would benefit. I really think you have to be in the right place to ""get it."

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-05-03 22:12:18 -0500 Report

Hey Tony,

Always nice to see you. Thanks for checking in.

You said it so well. Our words are powerful, even if we don't think of ourselves as all that powerful. We can heal or we can do a lot of damage.

I have read The Power of Positive Thinking. Thanks for reminding me. What a great book, an ageless lesson.

I really appreciate your wisdom!


lanykins 2014-05-20 04:05:38 -0500 Report

I personally knew Norman Vincent Peale when both of my parents worked for him. He was the kindest, humble, loving and good-hearted man I've ever known. That makes it so easy to believe all he writes in The Power of Positive Thinking. What a joy it was to know this loving man.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-05-26 13:05:24 -0500 Report

He was an amazing man, I agree. I have been to his former church here in NYC a few times for special events.

dagger1234 2014-05-01 11:43:00 -0500 Report

I love this topic! Words of encouragement and support from your loved ones is great but In the end, it should be all on you…yourself to be the most supportive.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-05-03 22:07:40 -0500 Report

Thank you dagger, I love this topic, too! There is never enough to say about being kind toward others. It starts with us. Being kind is a boomerang! Gary

BB42 2014-05-01 07:47:59 -0500 Report

Thank you for sharing your very interesting article. There is so much research showing how words can affect an individual. My wife and I early in our marriage vowed never to go to be angry with each other and to try and not use "push button" words or expressions. WE both follow this for the most part. My biggest problem is using hurtful words that are directed at myself. Especially when my BG numbers are not what I expect. This is also something I have to try and correct

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-05-03 22:06:33 -0500 Report

Hello, my friend! And thank you! Avoiding those button pushers is a really good idea! I encourage you to be kind to yourself, just as you are to your with. Don't be too hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day to try again. Take care of yourself! Gary

GabbyPA 2014-04-30 15:03:02 -0500 Report

Being mindful of what comes out of my mouth is something I really work on. I had a friend pull me aside many years ago and tell me that my sarcasm was really hurting people. I was horrified. I thought I was just joking around. So she helped me stop being that way by giving me a look or a poke if I was being sarcastic. It really helped so much.

Being uplifting is really very easy and when I am that way, it makes the negative comments stand out and I can avoid them. I know how one little word cluttered up in a whole paragraph can cut....I really try not to.

jigsaw 2014-05-03 08:42:27 -0500 Report

For a minute, I thought you were describing me, then I saw the name Gabby! I have experienced very similar circumstances. This discussion is so enlightening, and helpful for increased awareness.

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one! Now, I feel a bit more human, and that's a wonderful feeling!! {-;

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-04-30 17:28:38 -0500 Report

Hi Gabby,

Thanks for sharing this. I do the same work with myself. I can get a little sarcastic at times, all meant in fun but not always taken that way. Some of us get and appreciate sarcasm more than others, and I have also been stung by a few well meaning barbs over the years.

Being kind is so much more productive in building and maintaining relationships, as you said so well.


Tender Tips
Tender Tips 2014-04-29 23:04:48 -0500 Report

Excellent topic-so needed in today's world! I read something once (maybe in an Ann Landers column?!) that recommended asking yourself 3 questions before you say something: "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it helpful?" That has helped me de-escalate many situations!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-04-30 17:25:35 -0500 Report

Hello Tender Tips!

Wow, that is some really great advice. Sounds like something that would have come from Ann Landers. Something we can all use to remind ourselves not to speak out with harmful and hurtful words.

Thanks a lot!


jayabee52 2014-04-29 22:45:59 -0500 Report

Currently I don't have anyone living with me to whom to say those healing words to or to me. My GF is is over 900 mi away and we can say things which are healing to one another when we are on the phone. When we have a disagreement or one of us says something which rubs the other wrong, we have permission from one another to discuss it until thr issue is resolved somehow.

She has spent several years here in Las Vegas, before she moved elsewhere and wants to return here to live. If everything goes well between us (we haven't yet met in the physical world) we may end up together here in LVNV. I would expect the loving and healing words to continue when that occurs.

I do have my son and dil living nearby who has me over every other Sunday night and we tell one another "I love you" and we hug. We discuss stuff that is important to us and sometimes geek out with a movie on Netflix. I really enjoy those Sunday nights and the fact that Jon and Rose wish to spend time with me helps me to feel better about myself.

I also have attended a Lutheran congregation here in LV for about 20+ years. I have a lot of friends here and almost every Sunday I attend someone comes to me and inquires about my welfare, and speaks healing words. Sometimes folks even feel moved to help me out financially. All of that means a lot to me. So even though I don't have someone in my apartment to whom to say loving and healing words and have them said to me, I do get some good words from others from time to time.

God's best to you Dr Gary!


Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-04-30 17:23:15 -0500 Report

HI James,

Always nice to hear your words of wisdom!

It sounds like you have a lot of healing words coming our way, over the phone, in person, online. That's a lot. You are such a kind and generous person, I suspect that you attract all kinds of positivity, from all directions.

Thank you!


camerashy 2014-04-29 21:17:50 -0500 Report

I don't hear kindness here, so I say it to myself. Except the other day when I cracked a rib - got nothing good to say about that.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-04-30 17:10:43 -0500 Report

Hi camerashy, sorry to hear you don't have enough words of kindness coming your way. We can learn to be kind to ourselves, too.

robertoj 2014-04-29 16:08:59 -0500 Report

We were friends before we had a relationship. Over the years we have had to sacrifice for each other many times. The things that have pulled us together are the same things that tear others apart. Healing language is used a lot. We vent now and then but for the most part we identify it as such. Our mutual well being depends on each other.

Next Discussion: the right choice »