What May Not Interest Some; May Be A Need For Others"

By Latest Reply 2009-02-02 05:13:56 -0600
Started 2009-01-28 04:29:37 -0600

I know it has been talked about before, but maybe this is a better way to deal with the problem.

Some people have direct questions, pertaining to their special needs and may not have been able to find an answer on their own. Therefor; they come here and ask.

Some people may think this is ridiculous because it does not pertain to them; but, it is still important to some.

If you read the question in the title, and have nothing but the urge to reply with mean and hateful remarks.

Why even open the discussion.
Especially since (being the first response) you already knew what you were going to say.

And, for the newcomers; who are trying to learn as much as they can, this may make them feel discouraged.

I have only been here since September, and still consider myself a newcomer, until I have more answers than questions.

38 replies

Bjay 2009-01-29 18:17:30 -0600 Report

I manage a large community at DiabeticMommy.com. We make it clear from the get-go that the site is about LIFE with diabetes, not about diabetes with a little bit of life thrown in lol. That said, we let the diabetes-related discussions take priority when the discussions get listed. We also have specific folders for photos, chit-chat, etc. That makes it easier to try to make everyone happy. So I'm offering up that experience to the leaders here.

We also try to remind everyone to be supportive because that's what the site is for - even if you are getting annoyed to death, haha. You really don't want fellow diabetics or pre-diabetics to miss out on the support.

As far as negative stuff. Unfortunately there are some people surfing the net whose goal is to disrupt communities like this. Some call them trolls. We've nipped some really organized attacks on our forum in the bud. It's like a game to them. So look at some comments with a thick skin, it's probably not personal. And remember do not feed the trolls by reacting to them, that's what they want.

We've also discovered some of these trolls who have integrated into our community, come up with identities and everything. Even send other members Christmas cards, and turned out they were not who they said they were. So, although this thread didn't touch on this, I wanted to mention it to this new community…if you make a friend and decide to meet, connect in real life, or give someone your contact information, make sure and do your homework and take precautions. :)

Richard157 2009-01-29 18:31:18 -0600 Report

Thanks Bjay, I have run into trolls on a few sites. They were banned from those sites. There are probably more trools though crying for attention. I agree that we have to be extra careful.


2009-01-30 10:37:04 -0600 Report

Good for you; I have a few blog sites of my own, one is just for diabetic news. I can chat on it, but like you say, everything is categorized and easier to do.
I have just opened it to this community, all you have to do is click on my picture; I believe it should send you to my other sites.

I also just linked it to my email on profile, welcome to come and look
Still working on it. But it is definitely getting more defined.
You can also google it through my name.

Bjay 2009-01-30 11:39:23 -0600 Report

I can't find the link on your profile. Still trying to get the hang of this site. Where would the link be?

highlandcitygirl 2009-01-28 10:36:13 -0600 Report

negative people do not bother me that much, there is usually a sad reason behind it! i am not saying that it is a good thing, but rather ,it is a human thing. sometimes folks lash out at the very ones that they need the most. i can get hot under the collar too, when it comes to cruel things, but some folks don't seem to know how to handle life as well as others. if you must say something back, then thats up to you and if you don't, thats up to you too. this i know, that depression comes with diabetes and if you have had a bad life experence, things just seem to hard to bear and its best if you can talk about it in a healthy way!

Robert C. H.
Robert C. H. 2009-01-28 11:13:35 -0600 Report

I wrote a negative remark about an anonymouse Response that I found very rude,in a discussion,and then found myself continuously being attacked by name by that anonymous person, I stopped going to that site because of it, to me there is no need for that kind of behavior .We I hope are here to help each other,Encourage each other, and enjoy each other,That is why I joined this site and if I have to encounter that kind of thing it is very easy to skip over that discussion, unless I feel that discussion deserves my response, then I am not going to let this fool ruin it for other people, that is how I feel.Robert

kdroberts 2009-01-28 10:24:25 -0600 Report

I think most of the negative comments come because there are so many topics that are not really diabetes related and not that helpful to the majority and/or posted in the wrong sections and it makes it hard to actually find what you're looking for.

jsd2005 2009-01-28 10:35:12 -0600 Report

I understand what you are saying completely, but the negativity is simply not necessary. A little inconvenience isn't cause to hurt anyone's feelings. It's actually very easy to simply skip over and not read what doesn't interest you.

2catty 2009-01-28 10:36:20 -0600 Report

Yep I agree completely.

Pauline B
Pauline B 2009-01-28 10:52:46 -0600 Report

I am looking for a diabetes site that deals with living a full life in spite of having diabetes, and so far have not found one. Any suggestions?

Pauline B
Pauline B 2009-01-30 00:45:24 -0600 Report

That would be good to have. I explore other sites, and am always reading research results, but sometimes I like to take a break from all the seriousness, yet I am aware this this site is for people who need answers, which I try to offer.

kdroberts 2009-01-28 11:07:57 -0600 Report

I agree, but when you've seen a site go from 95% diabetes threads to 95% not related to diabetes or very, very loosely related you can kind of understand why people get frustrated. I've been coming here for 6 months or so and it's amazing to see what this site has turned into. It's gone from a diabetes information site to a social site where the people on it are diabetics with very little information about diabetes or managing diabetes being posted.

Anonymous 2009-01-28 11:28:43 -0600 Report

I have a comment on what KD just said. While I know this site is supposed to be diabetes related, we as diabetics do not want our disease pushed down our throats all the time. I personally know what I should do and offer my advice to many. But I also like being on here and knowing what others with my same problems are doing with their lives. Is there someone that plays games like me, or is there someone that watches the same show as I do. Or just knowing what kind of weather people are dealing with is of interest to me. I may be weird but I am a people person. I also chat with people on Pogo to see how they are or where they live. So my point is, we are a diabetic site but daily lives is part of our diabetes too. So I can be all diabetic all the time but I like the daily life issues too that are not realted to my ongoing disease. I hope this made sense to some.

2009-01-30 10:30:32 -0600 Report

Again, a good answer, diabetes labels us, but, there is more than that to us, and we like to explore and express those things as well.

Sometimes it even looks like we are getting off topic, but look for the hidden meanings. You may be surprised
Thanks; Claudia

2009-02-02 05:13:56 -0600 Report

KD, The only problem that will fix the discussions, is to add more. I usually use the emotional discussion site for off topic encouragement.

But when you go on top rated or most recent you will see them there.

cakeybakes 2009-01-28 09:13:36 -0600 Report

Thank you! I have only been a member since September as well. I drop in when I need encouragement, enlightenment, or a kick in the pants. It saddens me when I find a rude comment. I'm all for constructive criticism or gentle chiding, but rudeness is just wrong on so many levels. Think about how you would like someone to respond to you before you decide to comment on something with which you disagree. Charish your right to disagree, but do it without hate or spite please!

Richard157 2009-01-28 08:56:06 -0600 Report

I have joined 9 or 10 diabetes sites with support groups. I found only four where there never seems to be any rudeness in posts. I stuck with those four and stopped posting on the rest. Diabetesconnect is in limbo for me. I like to visit a site and then when I leave I want to leave with a good feeling about it. Sometimes I leave this site with a negative feeling. That is why I do not post very much here. I feel more comfortable on some of the other sites. There is certainly enough good here to keep me coming back but I don't stay very long when I visit. I should not be this way, I know, but I can't help it.


2009-01-30 10:25:58 -0600 Report

No, Richard, you should say how you feel, becomes it seems we have lost a lot of regulars, and you have to wonder why; and it will only help others' help make the site better.

GabbyPA 2009-01-28 08:19:35 -0600 Report

I have been skimming a lot lately because many of the topics have not hit home for me. But I am so saddened that we are still dealing with this kind of thing. I know that we all have our days, but continually bashing is of no value.

It is so true, we need to live by the Thumper Rule! LOL "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all"
You go Claudia...maybe they will finally get it, that we don't appreciate the negative nancies here.

2009-01-30 10:23:37 -0600 Report

Your support behind me means alot,Gabby, thanks so much.
It is like constantly beating a dead horse, but maybe the explanation was a little better.
I hope it does put an end to this, when people are truly trying to find an answer, new or old does not mean we know it all. We never will.

jsd2005 2009-01-28 08:12:42 -0600 Report

You are absolutely right in your statements here. I have just begun to navigate this sight and have already noticed that there are some who perpetuate negativism. You should realize this can be a way of life for some and that it somehow makes them feel better.

Since, they have lost control and thrive on chaos and are more than likely living a dysfunctional lifestyle they must attack others to make themselves feel in control. Does that make sense?

Keep doing what you are doing. You are harming no one and I trust you are gaining insight and answers to the questions you have. There certainly is an abundance of knowledge and very practical information here. I hope you continue to take advantage of that.

I know you've heard the saying, "Don't fret over the small things." In other words don't worry about the things in life you cannot control. They are simply that and will most likely only impact you in a negative manner. Take the good things and learn and grow from them. Actually, you can learn from all of it. However, you seem to be so caring, that I can see how much the negativity bother's you. It bother's me too, but I try to overlook it if I know there isn't anything I or anyone else can do about it. Does that make sense?
Keep contributing. You have a great perspective.

Take care

Meridian - 26751
Meridian - 26751 2009-01-28 05:26:36 -0600 Report

Very well put Claudia. I spend a lot more time reading than I do typing. It seems that some folks get on here and search for discussion topics they can write something negative about. For those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves, those comments really hurt especially if it is a topic that is near and dear to us.

I have to wonder though, for the person or people who leave the negative and hurtful responses, are they getting something medicinal from their responses that is helpful to them? Is there some sort of need for them to be hurtful? I guess it might be a possibility.

Just as we ask them to ignore topics that they think are needless, we need to ignore their responses that we find needless and hurtful.

2009-01-28 05:30:55 -0600 Report

Very well put Ken! I know everybody has the right to be "Anonymous" but most of the negative comments come under Anonymous responses… Makes you wonder.

2009-01-28 05:59:25 -0600 Report

I do know that diabetics have problems with mood swings, but, ah, there are medications if that is the case.

If not, do not hide anymore. If you want to be heard, at least let us know who is speaking. Maybe we will be able to follow your posts and understand more of what you are dealing with, to help you with your needs.

Meridian - 26751
Meridian - 26751 2009-01-28 06:31:58 -0600 Report

When they need help they will be the first to ask for it. That is why when anyone else asks for help it seems so frivolous to them…because it is not about them. This type of person is more self-centered than most. Everything in their lives HAS to be about them. They have no real concern or empathy for anyone other than themselves.

Anonymous 2009-01-28 09:39:43 -0600 Report

Just a comment about the anonymous thing. I am one of them but I do not post mean things. I am anonymous for personal reasons. I try to be helpful and offer my advice to someone to offer my years of dealing with this disease. Anyway, just wanted to post that. Hope that was ok.

Meridian - 26751
Meridian - 26751 2009-01-28 14:32:34 -0600 Report

We are only talking about the folks that intentionally post the hurtful responses that criticize topics that are important to someone else.

2009-01-30 10:19:49 -0600 Report

Yeah, I know that we have a few that just post anonymously, and are very kind.

They're privacy picture often gives them away. But the words are the definite clinch for them.

I certainly don't mean all, I know who you are, anonymously of course, and you are very kind. Don't feel as this is aimed at you, please.

Plus it is a wide range of discussion

2009-01-30 10:49:09 -0600 Report

I completely agree with you Ken, and alot of the other statements made here. Negatively is not needed here.

2009-01-28 05:11:03 -0600 Report

You're so right Claudia. Like Debe I don't comment if I can't offer help. If I know the person, I will try to offer support. (I should do this when I don't know the person too!!!) With so much to learn, I know I don't have many answers. You can, however, give moral support. I really don't believe anybody would take the time to ask a question if they really didn't need help. Good point and glad you brought this up. Take care friend, Angie

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2009-01-28 04:49:47 -0600 Report

This is so true. I agree with you Claudia 100%. Me, being type 1 pass over alot of discussions because I have nothing to offer that person to help them in their situation. I never experience taking diabetic pills, so I know nothing about them to share. So how would I be able to give advice to that person if I never dealt with it. I maybe able to help type 1 ans give moral support to others, but if I feel I can't add to the subject I still read them but just do not respond. Like you said here, everyone has a different problem and should ask if it is stressing them out. No question is stupid? It just may not pertain to you, so go on to the next discussion. It took me a while to learn how to track and not track things I can help at and the things that I can't. So I feel this is a good point to bring up…Debe

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