Why Do I Feel So Guilty?

By Latest Reply 2009-03-09 17:40:03 -0500
Started 2009-01-27 06:48:18 -0600

I am on this site for the same reason as everyone else, and everyone has helped me tremendously.

But, I feel guilty, Why?

I know I try to contribute advice where I am knowledgeable enough on a subject. But, I have more questions than answers, so I do not feel I can help anyone.

I do have love and compassion for others', and like to try to offer help there. But, even that can be overdone.

Those discussions created to motivate. I think I have overdone them too, so I guess I am feeling really useless.

But, with the medical advice and information, and nutritional, I am learning to apply to my daily life more and more. So, I learned a lot by reading, and continue to learn each day.

I have a lot of friends here, and that is really important to me. But, I still feel guilty, useless; like I am taking advantage of my friends or wasting their time.

Maybe it is just because I am a caretaker, who is fighting my own battles with illness. I take much more time participating in my husbands' healthcare than my own.
Not because he wants me to, he does appreciate it, but worries more about me.
What's that about? Oh, I know how deeply he cares about me, and my well-being, but I still feel guilty that I am not doing enough for either of us.

But, I am still learning, so why do I feel so guilty.

15 replies

SkipT 2009-03-09 17:40:03 -0500 Report

You should not feel guilty about using information that others are supplying. If it helps you, just spread the information around. You can never know too much! And you mentioned that you have made lots of friends. Well, that is something that you can not place a value on as it is priceless.

kdroberts 2009-03-09 14:48:21 -0500 Report

Don't feel guilty. The downside to all internet boards is that the posts are essentially un-moderated and can contain very good, very bad, down right dangerous or completely false information and anything in between. It's far better to not add to the latter three unintentionally by posting something you're not 100% on than post it just because you feel guilty. Spend the time you might spend posting things researching items that others post. Then in the future you will know certain areas with authority and be able to post and back up useful information that will more than make up for the time spent reading and learning.

You may spend a few months taking information and asking question but then spend years teaching people what you learned. In the long run you will give back far more than you took.

firefightermom 2009-01-28 08:18:46 -0600 Report

good morning, your comments and discussions help me alot, I think about you daily and have prayed for you and your family, when you posted about giving up I couldnt get you off my heart and that brought me closer to God because I was praying for you so you see nothing you say or do is useless. when we post on here we never know what the results will be in someone else's life so I want to thank you for being honest and encourage you to keep on posting, when I see your name come up I always read what you have to say. Have a great day and be blessed to be a blessing.love ya.

dsmagic 2009-03-09 13:57:35 -0500 Report

I often feel the same way as lilmarm52 does, but perhaps for different reasons. My husband has been diagnosed with diabetes since around 2003 (I think). Along with all his other health issues, he takes a number of medications twice a day. However, he has recently stopped taking them and the doctor tells me there is nothing I can do. Pleading, conjoling, threatening, nothing works. I know that without the medications, he will die. Sometimes, I wish he would just do so in order for it to be "over". I know that sounds awful, but caretaking 24/7 to someone who seems not to care himself can be (and is) daunting. How do you handle it when a loved one just will not take his medications. Each time this happens (twice now), I could only wait until he decided to restart. I know he gets tired of taking so many pills, but he also knows that by not doing so, he places himself at risk for a number of reasons including stopping a medication suddenly.

jsd2005 2009-01-28 08:02:48 -0600 Report

I agree, bless you Heart. From what I've seen you are a very caring, conscientious and loving individual who has a lot to offer and does just that.

It's easy to get frustrated and get caught up in everything you are doing when you are surrounded each and everyday by the same things. Especially, when it seems not much changes. Just trying to taking an active role is a very, very positive thing.

With diabetes we need to be both proactive and reactive on a continual basis. It also sounds like you are attempting to do just that. I think there are many who find inspiration in what you write and that is extremely useful. Bless you and I will add you to my prayers.

Avera 2009-01-27 22:29:51 -0600 Report


I am so sorry that you are having these feelings. I have a small suggestion that might help you. Instead of trying to start meaningful discussions maybe you could take a break just for yourself and do some other things around the site.

Lots of people on the site spend lots of time posting recipes, news articles, blogs, and book reviews. Look at the numbers…hundreds of people read them, but only two or three people take the time to leave a comment. By leaving comments, you could make people feel they helped by taking the time to post these things. I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to let me know they liked a recipe or not.

People always respond to the discussions but people rarely leave comments on anything else except the products.

This is just a thought. I for one, have enjoyed many things you have put into the discussions,,especailly the "quotes."

Hang in there, sweet Lady!


Amy Tenderich
Amy Tenderich 2009-01-27 20:20:29 -0600 Report

Living with diabetes is just fraught with guilt, isn't it? Ugh.

Here's an article I wrote on the subject a while back that might be of interest:



LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-01-27 20:28:21 -0600 Report

Excellent article, Amy. Everyone needs to read it.

cakeybakes 2009-01-27 20:53:03 -0600 Report

Thank you, Amy! I have had a very difficult time the past 2 months with guilt over not taking care of myself and feeling like I have nothing to offer, also. I think this calls for an attitude adjustment!

Avera 2009-01-27 22:21:00 -0600 Report

What an excellent article! I liked it so much I copied it and sent it to some friends who also have diabetes. I'm going to email my doctor a copy also.

sparkysmom 2009-01-27 20:03:26 -0600 Report

You know My Friend …Sometimes the questions asked help just as much as the answers. I know I have questions and it helps me to know that others want to know the same thing. We don't all have answers.Some one has to ask. You don't need to feel guilty about anything.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-01-27 18:22:00 -0600 Report

Bless your heart, Claudia, I hate to hear you feeling like this. I only know you through the website…don't know all the ins and outs of your life…but I am pretty doggone certain you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. One thing I am sure of, from all that you share with us, is that you are a loving and caring person who is bearing an unbelievable load. The fact that you do more for those you love than for yourself is certainly proof of that.

You know not one of us is able to do all we want to do or be all we want to be. All we can do is give it our best, with God's help. We cannot be the answer to everyone's problems. We can't neglect ourselves in order to care for everyone else. Women tend to do that, just as women unfortunately seem to always carry a lot of guilt - feel that they are responsible for everyone's health and happiness. But that's an unrealistic expectation and one you cannot allow to destroy you.

I hope you will stop and think a minute about how much you mean to all those around you, and how much you've given of yourself for them. Not to pat yourself on the back, but simply to know that you cannot do it all, and you cannot feel guilty that you cannot.

Besides, if you get to that point, you'll be so wonderful that all of US will feel guilty because we can't match that!!

Hugs & prayers,


2009-01-27 19:57:29 -0600 Report

Diane; you have more encouraging words, and a bigger heart in your one little finger than I have in my whole body. I only hope to be half of what you feel I am.

I love your thoughts of faith and kind words, and your prayers are always accepted.

I,too pray for others' but I am very quiet about my beliefs and can not open up real easy about them. But, I have always believed in God, and have a great faith of my own.

Thanks to all of my friends, you are bringing him back to the forefront and more and more awareness is coming because of that.

All my past studies of the bible and bible school; all I have learned so many years ago have once again become more prevelant to my every day needs. I have to depend on something; it might as well be my friends, and FAITH.

Thanks for bringing that all back to me
luv:-) Claudia

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2009-01-27 20:35:24 -0600 Report

You are so kind, but you are underestimating yourself, I'm sure. I hope you read Amy's article below. There is so much truth in it.

2009-01-28 06:40:56 -0600 Report

Agree with you about Amy's article. She is very insiteful and informative, as well as her site. DiabetesMine"