Fear of Reprimmand

Melissa Dawn
By Melissa Dawn Latest Reply 2009-01-10 14:29:34 -0600
Started 2009-01-10 11:49:43 -0600

So this week I had a few space cadet moments. My lunch time blood sugars were running low, so I would eat my lunch to bring it up (planning to take my dose just a short while later once my sugars were up). Normally this system works fine for me, but sometimes I'll forgot to go back and give myself the needed dosage. This happened twice this week. I'd get home from work (about 2.5 hours later) and suddenly go "Oh no! I forgot to take my insulin!"

Amazing. Usually I can't forget my diabetes that well. Anyway, in both situations I quickly tested my blood sugar to find out just how monstrous the high was and took an appropriate dose of insulin to treat the problem.

Today as I was going through the weeks blood sugar results and seeing those two numbers (adding notations to myself that the time of day wasn't the problem — it was memory) I thought back to times in my life when I have handled the situation differently. I used to be so afraid of having my doctor, parents, anyone see those high numbers on my records that instead of testing for them, I'd simply try to treat them. I remember many times when I'd decide I was high (for various reasons) or low and instead of checking to see how bad it was, I'd just treat it and move on. Not the wisest move.

In a book I was reading it talked about some diabetics making up charts of blood sugar readings for their doctors prior to their appointments and listed warning signs of a patient who is doing this. I'm just curious if others here have ever let their fear of being seen as out of control lead them to hide the problems.

(P.S. I did adjust my insulin dosages so hopefully I won't continue going low at lunch time — it might help me avoid the problem.)


3 replies

Anonymous
Anonymous 2009-01-10 14:29:34 -0600 Report

I do not lie about the numbers but what I do to take to the doctor is a highlight all the good ones so he sees them first. Then if he notices some high ones we talk about them a little and he knows me well enough to know that it was my fault and I ate something stupid or too much of one thing. My weakness is mexican food and he knows that so he just says to keep more watch on the portions. He also knows that pain makes my numbers go up and he has me now rate my pain level if a number is too high and he will adjust the pain meds if they stay that way, So my feeling is, if you do not tell the numbers accurately you are only hurting yourself, especiily if you need more med adjusting or something different. I have had to try so many meds and finally I have the best control I have ever had.

firefightermom
firefightermom 2009-01-10 12:17:42 -0600 Report

hey,don't feel bad I have done the same thing a few times when we checked before a meal and was sortta low I planned to give insulin in a awhile then just let it escape me and next check see the number and go OH NO you know what??? my daughter is 10 and not only do I have fear of the doctor seeing high numbers but it makes me feel real dumb how could that slip my mind normally I can't look at her without thinking about what her blood sugar is right at the moment.I guess we just remind ourselves that we are human and humans make mistakes sometimes,we can't beat ourselves up for it just go on from the mistake fix it and Go on.I know what you mean about the doctor picking out the high's and not seeing the good one's I just try to do the best I can that's all I can do right? nice to talk to you.

Meridian - 26751
Meridian - 26751 2009-01-10 12:16:54 -0600 Report

As diabetics we find ourselves in the position of care taker for ourselves, most of the time. So I am of the opinion that my book of numbers, as I call it, is simply an extension of my own memory.

I am the only one that those numbers really impacts. Sure my doctor looks at them to help her determine if I am taking the correct medication and to make suggestions on how to improve my numbers. She is mostly concerned with the numbers that are too high and the numbers that are too low. She doesn't really care about when I have a good day or a good week, she is concerned when I don't. That is the doctor's job. She sometimes will act like a cheerleader and even though those times do make me feel good, it is my job to know I am doing well. After all, I am my ultimate caretaker.

So, by falsifying the numbers I would just be trying to fool myself in an area where I need to know the truth.