Dating and relationships

Leslie S
By Leslie S Latest Reply 2014-03-19 07:28:47 -0500
Started 2014-03-17 17:40:13 -0500

I've recently started dating a guy. I'm wondering how soon is too soon to share that I'm diabetic? Not something I've really wondered about, but curious on everyone's thoughts.


12 replies

Gabby
GabbyPA 2014-03-19 06:14:18 -0500 Report

I suppose it depends on how much you want to invest in someone who might not be willing to share that part of your life? I don't see why it would be a deal breaker to be diabetic, but if it's going to be after he has gotten to know you, I would say sooner than later.

You know though, it doesn't have to be a big deal. Not a huge sit down "we need to talk" moment. It can be casual and just kind of come up, and the less you make a big deal of it, perhaps the better he will receive it. I am not saying that you don't eventually want to share the serious issues that may come up one day, but no need to make it a scary talk.

Jan8
Jan8 2014-03-18 09:04:07 -0500 Report

After thinking this one over I think the best thing is to be up front with him. If he backs away then he isn't worth your time.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-17 19:37:27 -0500 Report

Why haven't you told him? The best thing to do is to tell him. If you have a diabetic episode with him and he calls an ambulance he will find out anyway. Better to be upfront with it now than to have him find out from paramedics.

Nitabugg
Nitabugg 2014-03-17 18:47:04 -0500 Report

hey!! Personally, I would tell him now!! I was nervous to tell my now husband when we first started dating…mainly because Diabetes is well known and always associated with illness;ect…Anyways, I decided it was important to tell him and see how he felt about that…At the time we were not even too serious together or anything…Its something that is a major part of your life…Something that always has to come first..You need to see where he stands and how he feels about it!:) hope this helps a little!!

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-03-17 18:03:40 -0500 Report

Howdy Leslie
You mean you haven't told him already?

How he reacts to this news will tell a LOT about him and how he deals with life.

You really don't want to invest time in him and find out later that he had a problem since you are not "perfect", do you?

I always told my intended romantic relationships up front to get it out of the way. It frustrated me that often the lady would either immediately back out or eventually back out of further consideration of continuing the relationship, but eventually I was found by a lady (on Dating4Disabled) who was attracted to me through my profile there. She contacted me and we developed a relationship and within a year of initial contact, I moved 500 miles to be with her and marry her.

I pray success for your attempts to gain a signifigant relationship!

James Baker

Leslie S
Leslie S 2014-03-17 18:05:24 -0500 Report

Thanks James!!! I appreciate your input!

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-03-18 10:41:03 -0500 Report

I KNOW how frustrating looking for a new "for the rest of your life" relationship can be. I tried so hard to get back into one when I was divorced. I got frustrated and tired of being rejected all the time and I decided to take a break from trying so hard. It wasn't long before my "Jem" approached me, which is highly unusual for a lady in my age bracket. I thought at least that she deserved a reply. She was 500 + mi away from me and I really didn't want a long distance relationship, but she grew on me and before long we were calling one another on the phone and then once a day was not enough. Eventually I moved to be with her and marry her. I moved because she had heart problems and she had Drs who were keeping the problem at bay for her, and I didn't want to interrupt that. Just before her passing, she said that she had that heart problem for 20 yrs.

She was indeed a very special person, one who had affected me very deeply. Even though she was only 4' 10" tall, she left some pretty big shoes for any lady coming after to fill.

diabeetle
diabeetle 2014-03-17 18:01:27 -0500 Report

Hi! It's great that you are considering how he feels about this! I don't think it would really be a problem, maybe bring it up during a dinner date? Then just explain it to him! I doubt he'll look at you any differently, most don't care at all! They just think you're tough! If you're not comfortable with it so early on, then wait it off, and as you get to know him more, talk about it, maybe check your bg in front of or near him, and he'll most likely ask about it. Good luck! Hope I could help ya! -diabeetle