HUBBY ATTITUDE BAD!!!

msann
By msann Latest Reply 2014-04-07 22:29:21 -0500
Started 2014-03-16 10:10:48 -0500

HEY GUYS IS FOR SPOUSE, PARTNER , WHATEVER THE RELATIONSHIP HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE FROM DIABETES LET ME KNOW HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT HELP!!!


50 replies

shorty1965
shorty1965 2014-04-07 22:29:21 -0500 Report

Sometimes it takes a lot of time to face this at one time I couldn't face it but I got it together.just keep trying and one day he may come around.

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2014-03-18 14:53:57 -0500 Report

well let me tell U how. take it to Ur pastor or clergy he will he U. I did .it seems my hubby has this problem to i think men have a period just like we woman do. they get grumpy , & bitch to . Ruth Tinkerbell54

Bonnie K.
Bonnie K. 2014-03-18 08:23:45 -0500 Report

+Hi Bonnie K here, I don't know if this is the same as what your Hubby is feeling but I am diabetic too, so is my Hubby and I myself have developed a bad attitude i AM NOT ONLY CRANKY AND TAKE IT OUT ON MY HUSBAND BUT i AM JUDGMENTAL AS WELL. I am not usually like that at least I didn't use to be I was fun loving and I think when something hits you it is hard to accept—a kind of why me feeling. I feel like it is one thing after another with diabetis fibromyalsia, neuropathy I could go on but the point is no matter if it is one thing or a dozen it can be over whelming and all it takes to help is a kind word and support from someone that loves you to get you thru the tough times.. Be good to each other you never know when it is your turn, and the rolls are switched.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-18 12:06:38 -0500 Report

Bonnie this is just my opinion. Nothing is hard to accept unless you choose to make it that way. The day I was diagnosed, I thought the world had ended as I knew it. A friend I didn't know was diabetic said and asked this,"So you are diabetic, What are you going to do about it?" changed my entire outlook.
So you have diabetes, fibromyalsia and neuropathy, what are you going to do about it? Don't get angry and tear my head off. I am only saying this to give you something to think about. You can't change things and go back to your life prior to these ailments, What can you do is make your life better that will help you move forward. Everyone has an attitude. Most people don't care about another persons attitude unless it is directed at them they they will react to you based on that.

The thing is when we get cranky and judgmental, we take it out on innocent people. I think the reality is deep down inside we are angry at ourselves for having a disease. You said you were fun loving and my guess is that you and your family and friends had a lot of fun. You can be that fun loving person again simply by looking in the mirror and saying to your beautiful self. Yes I have diabetes, fibromyalsia and neuropathy. I can't change that but I can accept it and have as much fun in life as I want.

I use to start each day with Just For Today, I Am Going To________. Now I go on Facebook and tell my friends I am awake, I have had my coffee so watch out. I get hilarious responses such as Oh My God she woke up, watch out world here she comes…lol

I had neurophathy so bad it hurt to stand up. I bought a good pair of thick soled tennis shoes and some diabetic socks and kept moving. Once my numbers got better the pain went away.

You can change your attitude and your out look on life and have a blast. I plan to keep going and having as much fun as possible, life isn't always easy but some where some how, I find a way to have some fun.

tomecom
tomecom 2014-03-17 07:22:06 -0500 Report

Diabetes (high blood sugars) cause transporters in the kidney's nephron filters to shut down, which causes many vitamins to be lost in the urine. Our diets are already short on vitamins and minerals because of the genetic modification of our food, and depleted soils. Processed foods are very low in vitamins because of high temperature cooking. All combined, when the body is deficient in even one vitamin or mineral, our body's cells cannot produce the amount and types of amino acids that are required to maintain our health. Diabetics are deficient in over 10 vitamins and minerals, half of which, are instrumental in controlling blood sugar. One of the amino acids impacted is tryptophan, which the brain uses to convert into serotonin (the happy hormone).
It will be very important that he starts taking a good quality multivitamin daily (extracted from organic foods-not chemical synthetics). If you cannot get your husband to take a good quality multivitamin daily, start feeding him foods that are high in tryptophan; like turkey, tuna, halibut, cod, legumes (beans) asparagus, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, collard greens, eggplant, mushrooms, spinach, and tomato paste,

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-03-26 10:53:51 -0500 Report

Howdy Tom
This from Medlineplus encyclopedia: "Amino acids can also be used as a source of energy by the body.
Amino acids are classified into three groups:
•Essential amino acids
•Nonessential amino acids
•Conditional amino acids
Essential amino acids

•Essential amino acids cannot be made by the body. As a result, they must come from food.
•The nine essential amino acids are: histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine.
Nonessential amino acids
•"Nonessential" means that our bodies produce an amino acid, even if we don't get it from the food we eat.
•They include: alanine, asparagine, aspartic acid, and glutamic acid.
Conditional amino acids
•Conditional amino acids are usually not essential, except in times of illness and stress.
•They include: arginine, cysteine, glutamine, tyrosine, glycine, ornithine, proline, and serine.
You do not need to eat essential and nonessential amino acids at every meal, but getting a balance of them over the whole day is important." more here ~ http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/artic...

Please could you provide a link to your source which supports your assertion: "Diabetics are deficient in over 10 vitamins and minerals, half of which, are instrumental in controlling blood sugar"? It would be most enlightening.

God's best
James

tomecom
tomecom 2014-03-27 07:43:22 -0500 Report

I have researched information on diabetes over the past 10 years..I list 10 vitamins and minerals because I have found research studies that actually focused on specific vitamins or minerals that concluded that diabetics were at a very high risk of being deficient in a specific vitamin or mineral. The late Dr. Atkins discusses numerous vitamins and minerals that diabetics are deficient in, in his books. He states that diabetics are universally deficient in chromium, magnesium, zinc and others. His clinic conducted a large number of studies on the topic. However, I am convinced that we are deficient in others as well. I just have not been able to find specific studies that prove it, so I avoid making those claims as fact. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies are not hot topics, but should be. I have witnessed hundreds of diabetics that have significantly improved their diabetes control by taking a good quality (organic) multivitamin. Many were able to reduce the dosages of their medications just by restoring vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
It is a well established fact that high blood sugar shuts down the transporters in the kidneys, which causes vitamin loss in the urine. I believe that it could impact more than just the 10.
Also, if you have read Susan Cohen's (I apologize to Susan if I have misspelled her last name) "Drug Muggers", you will learn that one of the greatest causes of vitamin and mineral losses is due to our medications. Our medications either block the absorption, or cause our liver to use them up attempting to break the medications down. She talks about how even one deficiency will slowly cause the development of symptoms that doctors will respond to by prescribing additional medications. She claims that doctors are trained to match symptoms to medications, not recognize vitamin or mineral deficiencies..
You obviously have done your research on amino acids. You likely discovered that every amino acid is highly dependent upon vitamins and minerals to be manufactured in our body's cells (rough and smooth endoplasmic reticulum), and if we are deficient in amino acids our cells cannot produce hormones and enzymes as well. Deficiencies in any of those will result in health issues.

Trudie Ann
Trudie Ann 2014-03-17 01:13:15 -0500 Report

I know it can be frustrating. My hubby is not a diabetic, I am. All men and woman can get a bad attitude from time to time. I told my husband that sometimes I think that men goes through a form of menopause. Mine will get really grumpy. I will say to him what's wrong? Why are you so grumpy, this wakes him up and he snaps out of it for a while. I believe it is hard for them to take advise from us some times. Of course since your hubby is diabetic I know his health and well being worries you. If you can't get him to talk or listen to you maybe a support group or a counselor can help. Just a thought, but I think maybe he needs some one to talk to and maybe he will listen to a man better, maybe one that is also diabetic. Then he might see that he is not alone in this. It sounds like he is either in denial, or depression, or maybe even both. I think maybe you need to seek outside help for him and maybe professional help. I will pray for you and him. God Bless

pmh24fan
pmh24fan 2014-03-16 21:40:50 -0500 Report

My wife knows when my blood sugar is high,because i get upset real easy,plus I know it too. I got dia with diabetes 11 years ago,now I got dia. with Parkansons now plus working 40 hours a week. But I know Iam not going to let these two things beet me. I love life to much. Get your husband some help,I know what you two are going through. Pat

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-16 16:17:51 -0500 Report

Are you saying that his temper changes because of diabetes? This can happen when sugar levels are out of control. Usually clears up once the high or low is balanced back to normal range.

horvy
horvy 2014-03-16 15:50:26 -0500 Report

Wifies attitude I was married for 33 years to my highschool sweetheart had to daughters then I got Diabetes and had trouble sex wise. I was educated enough to make her happy. but she wanted to go out in the world on her own. ( for better or worse)in sickness and in health) Yes she was spoiled I never cheated on her nor did I mistreat her. I gave her everything she wanted . . I still love her She remarried a carpenter who quit work and went to the Bar where she had to pick him and his son up at 11 pm because they were drunk. I lost everything in my life and am now living with my sister in Fl, We had everything . Thanks for listening.

birdogron
birdogron 2014-03-17 22:22:02 -0500 Report

OK Horvy, here is the deal. If you look for a replacement, you will look like you are looking for a replacement. Don't look and someone may fall in your lap. Don't recommend the bar scene. Let God put someone in front of you. By the way everyone, thanks for the heart / testosterone issues. I will bring it up at my next appointment. I go monthly and each month it's either massive blood test, stress test, curated artery sonogram, heart, kidneys, legs as well. Yearly sleep study. He is very thorough and the main concern at the moment is a thickened valve on my heart's right side. Did you know this can be from sleep apnea which I have a cpap machine for. Does it sound like I am getting old? Well, too late. I am going to be 57 therefore I already am!

Gripper907
Gripper907 2014-03-18 11:34:57 -0500 Report

Hi birdgron. Nowadays with all the advancements in medicine age 57 is not considered old. Stop feeling sorry for yourself—-your medical issues can be lessened or treated by morden medicine. Pay more attention to your needs and follow instructions given by your doctor. The rest is for you to resolve. Start by getting into a routine to exercise such as walking and dieting. Take your meds as prescribed . It helps if don't feel as if you are the only one with these medical issues.Positive attitude and good feeling about yourself will go a long way to start the healing process.

birdogron
birdogron 2014-03-18 14:43:38 -0500 Report

OK Gripper, where did you "feeling sorry for myself?" Didn't you notice the comical exclamation point at the end. I've lived 38 years with this disease and I haven't felt sorry for myself in quite sometime, like 35 years. If you have been diabetic as long as I have, then you may be dealing with certain complications as I am. Thanks for the advice though. I am certain you meant well.

Gripper907
Gripper907 2014-03-25 14:36:40 -0500 Report

Hello birdogron, I am profoundly sorry for the way I characterized my reply to your post. I misunderstood your post and totally missed the context of the message. Please disregard my inappropriate reply. Thanks for being kind.

birdogron
birdogron 2014-03-25 16:35:45 -0500 Report

Thank you Gripper. I appreciate it. You know though, I think once in awhile a swift kick in the *** is what I could use! I do need to get back to my workout schedule. I swim everyday in the summer and have much better control. Winter/Fall not so good. I have always been active; quail hunting, waterskiing, running, riding… It's funny how as we age it seems harder to be motivated when you need it most. The good news is as we age, we are supposed to get wiser. I'll be having another knee surgery, just cartilage I hope, and I'm gonna hit the working out daily. Thanks for the post and God Bless.

birdogron
birdogron 2014-03-17 14:22:16 -0500 Report

By now she probably knows she just traded problems. Not that she will admit it. I don't remember any wedding vows that state "for better or worse, or until one of you decides otherwise." Your doctor can probably help you with your sexual situation. My doctor prescribed testosterone cream to apply daily to my for arms. There was no problem with my testosterone number for age 55. This was to get my body hormones to work as they did when I was younger along with other medications. Kind of like putting a supercharger on your engine. Major, major difference waking up with pup tent, if you know what I mean. I take about 15 non prescribed over the counter supplements. The testosterone cream is 10%. Not like these advertised 1.62 percent. Don't use if you or family members have prostate issues. Sorry you had a wife that flew the coupe. Just take care of yourself. I've been there my friend.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-17 19:25:31 -0500 Report

Testosterone can cause heart problems. I read that somewhere. If I can find it again I will post it for you. Please talk to your doctor about that.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-25 21:02:44 -0500 Report

No that wasn't it. It was in a medical magazine I had. I can't find it. Think it is in a box with my EMT books.

horvy
horvy 2014-03-17 18:32:08 -0500 Report

Thanks for the support my friend. Testosterone meds are an issue today they say it causes Heart attacks. Look into it please.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-16 21:40:11 -0500 Report

You have to let go of the past. Sometimes even high school sweethearts grow up to the point one of them realizes that they want to go out in the world. She chose to leave to do that. You can't dwell on it. Stop knowing what is going on in her life. Odds are she has no idea what you are doing and if she does, she doesn't care. She moved on. Even though her life with her new husband is far different then the life she had with you, she chose him, she chose to love him enough to deal with or overlook his faults. The grass is not always greener on the other side but one doesn't know that until they go out into the world and find out.
Life does not come with guarantees. Just because someone takes vows does not mean you will be with that person for the rest of your life. People grow apart and break up. Some are able to move forward while others seem to mire themselves down with the love they once had.

Let go and get on with your life. Go out into the world. You never know, you just might meet someone who will be your everlasting love and will be with you for the rest of your life. The first step to rebuilding life is the hardest but each day and each step gets easier. Good luck to you.

horvy
horvy 2014-03-17 18:35:02 -0500 Report

Thank You You seem to know what to do.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-17 19:17:44 -0500 Report

I think I know what to do because just about everyone has lost someone they love because the relationship ended. Yes it can be devastating depending on the depth of the relationship. Why waste time on someone who clearly doesn't want you?

In my opinion an ex is like yesterday's newspaper, old news unless there are children involved and then you have to deal with them until the end of time.

Get her out of your heart and mind, you are already out of hers. If the two of you don't have any children together, get rid of everything that was hers. Some people by new furniture, paint, change everything and start fresh. You have to do that so you can move forward. Find a hobby, get out and meet people and one day you will realize the hurt and anger are gone and you will be having the time of your life.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-03-16 16:30:37 -0500 Report

Dear horvy; You sound as though your in pure misery…and well you should be. However, you said the line that you need to take heed yourself. SHE LEFT and SHE REMARRIED. It's time to bury the past and move forward. I know because the same thing happened to me. He left and remarried 6 months after the divorce was final. We were married 25 years. It was partially sexual but his issue was, I was to sick for him to handle. I grieved for awhile then someone told me to get off the pot and start my life over again. She was right! You sound as though you enjoyed being married and that's wonderful. You can have that again, with someone new as soon as you let go of the past and learn to love again. You may have had it all, and you can again. She has…I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing you but rather I'm trying to help you. Please see this in that light. Thanks for listening…Hugs to you

horvy
horvy 2014-03-17 18:39:54 -0500 Report

Thank you . I have tried but I cant find anyone close to what I had. Florida doesn't offer much.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-03-17 18:57:03 -0500 Report

horvy; keep looking, there has to be 1 lady that trips your trigger. You can't have what you had…period…look for someone new. Someone that has new things to introduce into a relationship. Your X-wife is gone, don't try to replace that person. Or she might leave you too. From what I understand Florida is the retirement capital of the U.S. there has to be 1 great lady. START LOOKING!!! Hugs to you…

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-16 21:26:22 -0500 Report

Valentine, you said something that reminds of a poem. "The love in your heart wasn't meant there to stay, love isn't love till its given away".

The longer you carry the torch for someone who use to love you only to walk away and start a new life the longer you remained mired down in the past. You took steps and rebuilt your life. Kudos to you.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-03-17 11:36:11 -0500 Report

Thank you so much Joyce…I did rebuild my life and am glad I did. I hope horvy does too. Love that poem too. It's beautiful. I liked what you had to say to him.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-17 19:24:14 -0500 Report

Thanks Valentine you are one special lady. I hope he does also. Never give anyone who doesn't want you the time of day. I look at it this why, why be miserable and the other person is happy.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-03-18 10:44:32 -0500 Report

Thank you Joyce, He so needs a good relationship, he needs to put the past to rest. No one can have it the way it was, but with some looking they can have it maybe better.

rebl
rebl 2014-03-16 15:28:19 -0500 Report

What really irks me are those doctors who tell you that you can live a good life with this damnable disease. They are a bunch of damn liars. They do not have diabetes, and do not have any conception of how it can destroy your life.

33suz
33suz 2014-03-16 14:25:56 -0500 Report

That's a really tough one. If he has the bad attitude about his diabetes maybe his doctor can have a talk with him. If it concerns your diabetes by all means like jenugen said ask your doctor about a local support group. No one should face diabetes alone!!

robertoj
robertoj 2014-03-16 14:41:13 -0500 Report

By the time I got a dx I already had a much mre serious illness. For years I never listened to doctors. Often demanding released against doctor's orders. I was proud and tough while my poor wife fretted. I had a change of attitude before I went to get checked by my doctor in case I had issues. The results were stunning and I took advice and researched online. Some of us try to go it alone. Never realizing that I helped myself most by helping others.

rebl
rebl 2014-03-16 13:53:07 -0500 Report

I have a bad attitude too, and I don't know how to handle it either!!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-03-18 10:56:41 -0500 Report

Hi rebl: It's just a thought, but rather than fight it accept the diabetes and work with it. yes, there are many changes that need to be made when one becomes diabetic, but with those changes you can live a fairly normal life. The first step is to accept it. By that I mean know it is part of your life now and the ways things were are no more. The eating I mean…just accept it. Stay in touch with all of us here, we can help you through it. None of us went through this disease alone, atleast at first. Hope to hear from you. I'm on your side.

Jan8
Jan8 2014-03-16 14:35:42 -0500 Report

rebi it is hard to have a good attitude about this disease. The only thing I learned is to just give up and say okay now I have this. What can I do about it? You need all the support and understanding you can get. if you have no one except your doc maybe he has an educator in his office or can give you an appt. with a nutritionist. Also I hope you will allow us to support you too.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-16 16:22:35 -0500 Report

If a person chooses to have a bad attitude about diabetes, that is a choice they made. The choice of having a bad attitude will also cause people to not want to help or support them. I don't help or support anyone with a bad attitude because it can be a true struggle. The most work has to come from the person with the bad attitude, they have to change. No one can change someones attitude. That is something only they can do.

jenugen
jenugen 2014-03-16 13:46:31 -0500 Report

If your hubby will not give you the support you want, find someone who will. Ask your diabetic educator if there are any support groups in your area. You cannot make someone else care. Take care of yourself. You are important!

Glucerna
Glucerna 2014-03-16 18:22:28 -0500 Report

I really like the idea of a support group because often people will listen to someone who is not their family. Hearing from others about how they manage diabetes can be enlightening. ~Lynn @Glucerna

msann
msann 2014-03-16 13:22:02 -0500 Report

YES HE DIABETIC ALSO HE IN DENIAL HE TAKE METFORMIN I TAKE INSULIN SHOTS AFTER BEING MARRIED 46 YRS IT SHOULD BE A TEAM EFFORT

Jan8
Jan8 2014-03-16 14:26:09 -0500 Report

should be but some people just don't get that. look at his good points because that's all you can do for now. Hope things work out for the better for you in time.

Jan8
Jan8 2014-03-16 12:48:05 -0500 Report

Did you mean to say his own diabetes ? Well it's the same story . it's all about fear vs Learning.

Jan8
Jan8 2014-03-16 12:43:20 -0500 Report

If a guy has a bad attitude about your diabetes the name of it is fear. There is nothing you can do about it except tell him to google it !! he can do whatever he chooses. It may take awhile.

robertoj
robertoj 2014-03-16 12:35:41 -0500 Report

Do not take responsibility for his attitude. Only he can change him. Try to inform him as best you can. When he begins to act out stop. In many cases it takes a crisis for one to begin a change and for some nothing will.

Monte-mom
Monte-mom 2014-03-16 13:07:32 -0500 Report

I totally agree. I offered to help my husband years ago but he had to come to his own decision to take me up on the offer and that was only last year. He is doing great now, so don't give up but don't nag.

rontexas2
rontexas2 2014-03-16 11:59:38 -0500 Report

Smack him/her a good one in the head to get their attention!! Then ask what they want out of life? Sure they have been thrown a dirty curve with an incurable disease, but not one that cannot be managed and controlled if they have the courage and strength to face it together with you and friends. Don't let the individual wallow in self pity and give up on life! I am 75 and have friends in their nineties I meet up with several times a week to exercise at a local hospital'g gym facility. I take my medication, including insulin. I get eight hours of sleep and worked at measuring my blood sugar levels throughout the day to determine what foods had what effect on my glucometer levels. I lost weight by watching portion control and counting carbs. Is it easy? No. Is it worth the effort? Definitely!!

elwojcik65
elwojcik65 2014-03-16 11:57:56 -0500 Report

Can you clarify what you mean about a bad attitude? Towards his diabetes? Bad attitude in general? Thanks.