Old Is When:
Your friend compliments you on your
new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
A gorgeous babe catches your fancy and
your pacemaker opens the garage door.
You don't care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by
the doctor instead of by the police.
"Getting lucky" means you find your
car in the parking lot.
Senior Party Games
Sag, You're it
Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
Kick the bucket
Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
Simon says something incoherent
Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
20 questions shouted into your good ear.
Ten Advantages Of Growing Older
1. Your joints are more accurate than the
National Weather Service.
2. Kidnappers ignore you.
3. Sexual harassment charges against you just don't stick.
4. People no longer think you're a hypochondriac.
5. Your secrets are now safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
6. Your eyes won't get much worse.
7. You're no longer expected to run into a burning building.
8. Whatever you buy now won't wear out.
9. In a hostage situation, you're likely to be released first.
10. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
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