By msann Latest Reply 2014-03-08 01:04:38 -0600
Started 2014-03-04 12:47:38 -0600


41 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-03-06 19:01:54 -0600 Report

Hey msann,

Nice to see you!

To me, one of the most frustrating things in life is watching a loved one not take good care of themselves and not being able to make them change.

Here are a couple of ideas for you.

You might want to go to his doctor's appointment with him. Let the doctor you know want to support him in any way you can, and ask the doctor to let you both know what your husband needs to be doing. You might also ask the doctor to explain what could happen to your husband if he doesn't take care of himself. That's called tough love.

It might help for you to check out the great recipes that we have here in Diabetic Connect under Living with DIabetes. Lots of health alternative ways to cook the foods your husband loves. You never know, you might convert him to becoming a more healthy eater.

Gentle nudges, given often, might also help to push him in a healthier direction. Remind him of how much you love him and want him to be around, and as healthy as possible, to enjoy life with you. You might enlist other family members to give you a helping hand here. One step at a time.

But also keep in mind that your husband has to be the one to decide to take the best possible care of himself. He is in control here.

I don't know if love conquers all, but it cetainly helps. So keep loving him, keep remind him that you love him.

And stay in touch with us!


shoulders 2014-03-06 14:42:19 -0600 Report

Try getting him to walk to a nearby store. Then let him reward himself with a piece of fruit, or a frozen fruit bar from the store to eat on his way back home.

Ronp 2014-03-06 11:27:39 -0600 Report

I would like to think that I can relate to your husband's feelings. First, I am glad that he gave up the tobacco! That takes will power. I was a survey technician for twelve years before I was let go because of the economy and a bad heart. I found out about the type 2 diabetes one year earlier.

I am a nervous eater with a bad right knee. It is painful to walk; but, I am forcing myself to do it. One summer, an Engineering student and I walked 50 miles in 11 weeks surveying a railroad line with structures. My doctor told me that I needed more exercise. LOL! However, my sitting about watching television or reading was ruining my health. My BS begun to rise and I became afraid of having to take insulin!

Your husband will have to initiate his activity! My wife's nagging helped; though, I tend to be a little stubborn. Be firm and yet, supportive in a loving way. Have him start off making short walks and progressively increase the distance. If it will help, go to a park, the woods, or any place that he likes. Make it together-time. Maybe he will do good with a pedometer to record his steps and calculate his distance traveled by multiplying his steps by that stride distance. Keep a daily logbook. It may serve as a bragging point. Or it may help him to see the need for pushing himself a little harder. Sorry, I got long-winded! I wish you both success.

Glucerna 2014-03-05 22:12:43 -0600 Report

I'm hearing a lot about how each person needs to find what truly motivates them, and then making changes in eating habits and exercise becomes much easier. In fact, we only truly are ready for change when the negatives of staying the same become stronger than the negatives in making changes. That balance is different for each person. Until someone makes that choice for themselves, we can support them, encourage them, love them, and educate them but we can't make those change for them. ~Lynn @Glucerna

Anonymous 2014-03-05 21:36:05 -0600 Report

You need to talk with his doctor, I have had diabetes going on 51 years and I walk everyday I am on the pump. I have lost 53 pounds. I feel great I will be 53 this Sunday he needs to keep blood sugars in a good range and need's to count his carbs in his food no more than 30 carbs a meal. to total 90 carbs a day. he will take weight off and feel great and blood sugars will stay in a good range ask his doctor to send him to a diabetic doctor. and they will also help him to get under better care. If I can be of any help please let me know your friend Debbie.

Monte-mom 2014-03-05 16:21:28 -0600 Report

I had the same problem for years. My husband did not want to watch his diet or exercise. It was really hard for me to cook for the two of us. When the doctor said that he was going to have to add insulin to his regimen, he wanted to do anything he could to prevent that from happening so he asked me for help with his diet and exercise. We have been working on this for a little over a year and although he does not always like the dietary changes, I have been able to show him that if he monitors his glucose levels and exercises he can have good results and still have an occasional indulgence. We have a treadmill and a recumbent stationary bike at home that he uses almost daily while he watches TV. What I suggest when it comes to exercise is to start small just to get in the habit of doing it…10 minutes to start. The way we started was when we walked outdoors, we would walk for 5 minutes away from the house and then 5 minutes back to the house where hubby would go home and I would continue my walk. Good luck!

Jan8 2014-03-05 16:03:33 -0600 Report

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I have had to back away from my husband's health problems. It was making me sick. It's great if the person would listen but they don't. Eventually he may come around himself after you back off. My husband did with some of his problems.

Bonnie K.
Bonnie K. 2014-03-05 14:43:37 -0600 Report

I also cannot do much for exercise since I have issues but I did find the Biggest Weight Looser Diet in a magazine and I figured if I couoldn't do it one way (exercise ) I would at least be able to try to loose weight another way with a different food plan, if you stick to it you can loose weight any where from 1.5 to 3.5 lbs a week. If you ever want to give it a try let me know. I consists of chicken breast steak etc every day plus more of course nothing weird though. Full program on request then he can make his choices of food he likes

Diane Dorfman
Diane Dorfman 2014-03-05 14:50:35 -0600 Report

What is the Diet?

Bonnie K.
Bonnie K. 2014-03-05 21:24:34 -0600 Report

Breakfast= Every day

2 egg whites with 1/2 cup broccoli ( I use chopped freshlike steamers)

2 slices of Ezekiel Bread ( I eat raison ) freezer section ( biblical bread) toasted with fat free cream chease spread

1 cup decaf coffee-with cream and diet sugar or black

1 cup yoplait greek 100 cal yogurt

1 apple - or - 1 orange

I have a 10 am snack- 8 walnut halves 0r 2 sugar free jello cups 0r cucumber or a low cal bar ( like great value bar from wal-mart you also get 1 0z of string cheese daily

Lunch: either or meals

6 oz of fish - or - 6 oz of steak - or - 6 oz of ground turkey -or - 6 oz chicken breast boneless and skinless,

Salad with lite dressing 2 Tbsp only

Instead of tarter sauce on fish I use 3 heaping tablespoons of cottage on top for flavor

Dinner: either or the steak or the chicken like for lunch.

I adjusted some changes once in awhile so as not to get bored I used canned green beans instead of broccoli in the morning and for lunch I took the ground turkey and added onion and garlic in the pan with 2 tbsp of olive oil and then added taco seasoning on top just a bit tbsp cooked it up and then spread 2 tbsp of cottage cheese across the center of a whole wheat wrap and added the meat on top with 1/4 cup of shredded cheddar cheese and enjoyed a rolled wrap, meat usually fills two wraps very good meal

for supper or dinner? which ever you call it I make the ground turkey with one small onion and a small clove of garlic minced and the tbsp of taco seasoning and cook it then Birdseye makes garlic cauliflower in a steamer bag and I cook it in the microwave and when the meat is done I pour them together and mix and enjoy

if I think of anything elase to help I will let you know. I do use the lower calorie things for taking pills or extra if I feel hungry like fruit cups or sugar free jello cups already made in stores cooler secftion

Hope this helps

sherryleigh 2014-03-07 12:27:38 -0600 Report

Do you mind me asking how much your food costs you a week? I am unemployed and get $89 in food stamps a month.

lorene1212 2014-03-05 23:21:18 -0600 Report

Bonnie wow this breakfast and lunch and dinner menu sounds so much like what I like to eat… I so much am interested cause I too have other problems as well as type 2 diabetes..
Please send me in private message this menu… Sounds great to me.. My sugars because of being sick have been very high one time went over 500! I too would like to begin a new revised weight loss plan… ty so much…

Bonnie K.
Bonnie K. 2014-03-06 10:27:39 -0600 Report

I know how hard it is to exercise when you have health issues other than diabeties I hope this helps you Lorene.

I will give you the diet and then give a few tips I do that is added and doesn't change the weight loss at all.

Breakfast— every day
1 to 2 cups of coffee, I use cream and diet sugar.

2 toast with Ezekiel Bread ( found in the freezer section of health foods.

2 —egg whites ( hard boiled or fry in pam spray

Broccoli about a 1/2 cup added to your eggs like an omelet, you can also add diced tomato I never have

1 cup of lite 1oo cal greeki yogurt ( Yoplait is good )

1 Apple - or - 1 orange I use honey crisp apples in summer and navel oranges in winter.

before breakfast—immediately upon wakeing you need to drink this

Amazing Grass Chocolate drink—— you can get it on —— it is a bit pricey but if you watch for sales it is not bad considering it last the whole month so it is less than a dollar a day. it serves as extra servings of vegetables for the day but you have to keep stirring it because it settles in the glass before you finish drinking it. It taste fine to me like chocolate.

10 am I usually feel hungary so I have a snack—— like 2 sugar free jello cups- or a fruit cup or if I am doing errands than a great value bar from wal-mart peanut butter with low callories about $2 dollars for a box of 5 bars.

Lunch:——- either or on these

6 oz of ground turkey - or
6 oz steak - or
6 oz chicken breast ( skinless and boneless) - or
6 oz fish - I buy the cod breaded from Sams Club- bake them and put 3 heaping tbsp ON TOP for flavor (Yummy)

Salad- with cucumber, radishes, onion, tomatoes. what ever you like but no croutons—you can add your allowance of cheese if you like 1 oz. Lite raspberry vinegrette or a lite dressing 2 tbsp only

I may also have a cup of canned cut green beans.

I make wraps as well—I use the ground turkey 6 oz and add to a pan with 2 tbsp olive oil , 1 small onion , 1 small garlic clove, then top meat mixture with 1 tbsp mild taco seasoning, fry it up nice and brown and then take a wrap and put 2 or 3 tbsps of cottage cheese spread down the center of the large whole Wheat wrap add the meat mixture on top and sprinkle 1/4 cup of shredded cheddar cheese on top wrap it up and enjoy—very taste and low cal

Dinner: either or again of these.

6 oz steak or 6 oz chicken breast

I make the ground turkey always at night and the fish for lunch or a can of chicken but it is too dry and I don't use mayo.

I make the ground turkey in a pan with the oil and the onion and the taco seasoning but then I cook in the microwave some birdseye frozen garlic cauliflower in a steamer bad, when the meat is done and the cauliflower than I mix them together and it is my meal I may add a salad with that and a couple of sugar free jello cups and maybe some sugar free popcicles or a can of green beans and I am good to go.

this plan does work but you have to stick to it or you will gain it all back I know I went off and gained it back some of it now I am back on it faithfully and in the first week I list 2.5 lbs and the second 1.8 now I am on the third weak and have already lost almost 2 lbs. keep in touch we will do this together if you like . I have degenerative arthritis , fibromyalgia, and I fell 30 feet and crushed my spine. I can walk but not far so I use a scooter but I exercise in the weater when I can. I had a stroke in my right eye and my left has two blood clots so my vision is not as good as I would like. blurred all the time so if I missed spelling on some words sorry. have a great day.

Pastor Naomi
Pastor Naomi 2014-03-05 14:15:48 -0600 Report

Unfortunately we usually can't motivate even our best friend and husband. If my husband became diabetic also, he would be motivated because his little brother has been a Type 1 since he was 14. I found my motivation because I watched my grandfather, my uncle and my mom all deal with diabetes. I learned from my mom how not to do it right. After she died of diabetic complications, we cleaned her apt in Sr. housing so someone new could move in. Imagine our shock when we opened the drawer we thought her silverware would be in and found a whole drawer full of chocolate bars. In her freezer she had individual pieces of pie stuffed here and there among the veggies and meat. Consequently I find myself highly motivated. I do not want something amputated or dialysis if I can help it. I attended those hospital classes and even though I am disabled & can't exercise, I still do my darndest to keep my HgA1c between 5.2 & 5.9. Eight yrs now. My husband retired 3 years ago and did his share of sitting around and listening to books because he is legally blind. One day he decided that he would take the dog for a walk, his guide dog, and now he keeps busy and as active as possible. Now is the time to find a hobby to keep him more active. I like having him around and we work together to accomplish what needs to be done. Good luck with the motivating. If you know relatives or close friends with diabetes as them for an intervention, but he truly will grow when he can be self-motivated. Good luck honey. Sometimes it takes weeks or months so keep us posted. You know we all care!

Mrs. Alilce
Mrs. Alilce 2014-03-05 09:41:57 -0600 Report

How is hubby today? Did you congratulate him for stopping dip? How did he respond? Being diabetic is shocking, but manageable. Did he go or has he signed up for a class offered by our hospital (hoping your area does one too). It is a day of learning what one needs to relearn and you may attend also. Now if you want to join Weight Watchers to manage your nutrition, they are a tried and tested diabetic support. Some people like that weekly monitoring to keep them as honest as possible. I am not saying tell him to go for weight loss, but for support. Secondly, does he see his personal physician or has he been referred to an endocrinologist? I love that you get nutrition training and monitoring from them. i can email back and forth to the nutritionist on staff. (and dr and PA also). I guess I am saying hubby needs support from every angle, not someone saying "can you eat that?" That is hurtful to someone who is already hurt and betrayed by his body. Writing down carbs for meals and snacks in a journal (I got a good one from Amazon for $6.00, but a spiral works) because one sees the direct relationship in what is eaten and blood sugar levels. And what I cheat with today may not inflate my numbers until 2 days later! Every cheat, you see, causes us to mentally debate the next time that opportunity is present. Do I still eat birthday cake? Yes, but I can have that one piece and be happy. Another good way to not feel deprived: go out to eat that one thing that beckons you (for me it is pancakes and bacon breakfast and the other is a ribeye dinner with potatoe). You get one serving and there is not more on the stove. When I cook "good" foods, I create healthy leftover plates. Having that choice clearly ready keeps from being grumpy about having to fix something good for me. Good Luck !!!

msann 2014-03-05 09:04:04 -0600 Report

Hey guys I walk three times a week go to curves five days a week he not and excercise or walking person I love him to death but he is a work in progress!!!

Bonnie K.
Bonnie K. 2014-03-05 07:54:04 -0600 Report

I know what you mean about hubbies getting lost in the retirement process, first they go through the first phase which is Wow I don't have to get up early or do anything, don't worry it does not last then they get anxious for something to do with themselves, it goes back to having a routine. I did all the finances in our household so I gave it up and let him do it all for something to feel responsible for. Then he felt like he had that down and he golfs for exercise now all summer and he lost allot of weight. He too is diabetic like me and he got his sugars in control. Winter is a hard time so we joined a fitness place called the Kroc Center , for me it has a pool, lazy river and whirlpool benches so it is easier for me since I am handicapped and for him there is a whole fittness center it is great. Be patient it will all fall back into place. It drove me crazy too the first few months after he retired now were back on track that was 2 years ago.

Blkbear234 2014-03-04 21:46:20 -0600 Report

Hand him a catalogue of coffins. If yall don't change you will need it real soon!! Its in your face and blunt but maybe thsts ehst us needed.

Hangin in
Hangin in 2014-03-04 19:48:56 -0600 Report

What motivates me is knowing if I don't do everything in my power to keep my blood sugar in, or as close to in range as possible, the list of horrifying long term effects of uncontrolled blood sugar. Is your husband aware of them? I know for me I find following a low carb. diet and taking a walk is better than the alternative effects of long term high blood sugar.

shorty1965 2014-03-04 18:56:49 -0600 Report

Have you ever had a sick moment when you could not do much from diabetes? Do he drink smoothest they have a good one he may like just don't let him drink much.the fruit has natural sugar but it tast real good.

msann 2014-03-04 18:48:27 -0600 Report


GabbyPA 2014-03-04 15:47:01 -0600 Report

Who does the cooking? If it's you, you can control some of what he eats that way. Do it a little at a time so he gets used to it. I find when I try to change too much on my family at once, it usually fails.

Congratulate him for not dipping anymore. That money he saves you can use for a trip or something fun to reward him. I had a friend of mine save up the cigarette money her husband used to spend and in a year they went on a whole week vacation on that money.

If he doesn't like to walk, maybe you can get him to help you do things around the house or out and about where you have to walk a little bit. Just getting him up and doing something is better than expecting a walk and not going anywhere.

Be his partner in everything. My mom was not diabetic when my dad was diagnosed. She did everything he needed to do and that made it a team effort. They chose bike riding as their exercise and they loved it.

Flustrated 2014-03-04 15:42:56 -0600 Report

My husband isn't retired and still works. Pounds come on because he filled his plate to much. I watch myself because of diabetes. I still fix pasta and potatoes but try to judge carbs. I filled the plate for him and he sort of picked up on portions. I add more vegetables and make sure there is a salad. I stay away from bread during the week and weekends serve bread to family. I enjoy walking outside but this is a mean winter. Mall walking is dangerous because you can spend money and forget the purpose of mall walking. lol I am jealous of my husband because his A1C is 5 and I'm 8.

simonizer77 2014-03-04 15:19:27 -0600 Report

Do you live near a mall? Most malls open early (before stores open) for exercise. All flat, weather never interferes. I hate exercise, but I enjoy this a lot.

Diane Dorfman
Diane Dorfman 2014-03-04 15:03:06 -0600 Report

That's not easy. I would maybe cook differently, and maybe put the fear in him a little. Let him know how serious it can be when you get to over weight! Tell him you love him and don't want to see him get worse! Maybe start walking a little together, or walk at Malls or a park.

kout 2014-03-04 14:29:44 -0600 Report

He have to get up and walk diabeetus no joke . I did not like to walking my friend said take your dog 4 a walk i do it after dinner every night

muirj3 2014-03-04 14:14:47 -0600 Report

What quality of life does he want? It will not be worth living if he does not change his ways

jeffrey greene
jeffrey greene 2014-03-04 14:02:39 -0600 Report

What ever you two together think will motivate your hubby. Do it together. Walk bowl,bicycle, go to diabetic classes, together. It's great he stopped dipping, that's another problem you don't need now. Did you and he ever dance together, there's a start.

shorty1965 2014-03-04 14:02:08 -0600 Report

Try and see if he could just walk in place for a few minutes a day with you when looking at TV.tell him you want him around as long as he want to be around.ask him what if this was you would he let you give up?let him know that you need him to stay around a few more years.
Because he needs to understand that this thing will take him out of here so try to get him to understand that.get him some reading material to read about diabetes and what it can do to you if he don't take care of him self.
Let him know how hard it will be for you to have to deal with life without him.
Let him know if he don't get it together they may have to start cutting off body parts because the diabetes has got ting out of hand that's what happen to my cousin and a tell him to get it together please(tell him I said please).

bayridgevet 2014-03-04 14:02:00 -0600 Report

I hear ya, it's hard to get motivated for someone in his situation with retirement. Quitting tobacco is a great thing, but the extra eating and binge eating associated with quitting will get him in trouble with diabetes and all its complications. I have type one since 11yrs old and owe my survival to exercise and getting involved with a sport(tennis) which I played even on hemo dialysis. Diabetes is a brutal disease that counts everything you do wrong, there is no cheating and getting away with it when it comes to eating right and exercising. My piece of advice in motivation is this: I always felt better in handling my diabetes when I helped others: either being a big brother or helping the elderly volunteering. I went on dialysis at 36yrs old, I was the youngest patient at my unit. I saw people all around me really really sick, and it helped me to talk to patients, help them into wheelchairs and help them get off the SCAT bus, which I rode too to the unit. It got me moving. Sorry to be so long..and very very good luck to Hubby as well as you dear

Chairmaker 2014-03-04 13:52:33 -0600 Report

I have to agree with "Just Joyce" there "MsAnn". Like your husband, I did the same thing and just figured if I ignored the problem it would go away. A wake-up call so to speak came when I ended up in the hospital not once, or twice due to my diabetes but a third time for it. That is when my Doctor told me he does not want me as his patient since I was not caring enough about the problem myself so why should he waist time with me when others were listening to him. Made me sit up and think and I soon joined a diabetic support group to get a better understanding of just how bad diabetes is for me.

However, my eye sight has got really bad and I recently was told by my doctor that my kidney's are not processing protein like it should be all due to my diabetes. I hope for his sake that he does make the right choice of taking this seriously. I am now hoping I did not wait too long since the above damage has started.

gussieboo 2014-03-04 13:23:17 -0600 Report

Although not retired, I am a male diabetic so I felt a bit qualified to respond. One of the things that helped me get motivated was hearing my doctor say that with sugar and triglyceride levels as high as mine were, I most likely wouldn't be alive in 10 years due to the damage to internal organs, pancreas and liver. I'm a photographer, so even hearing about the damage to my eyes, I decided to lose weight and exercise, I'm a few months away from being diabetic free! Through research I found that some diabetes is reversible! I've lost 65 lbs so far.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-04 13:22:55 -0600 Report

Has he been to a diabetic education class? If he doesn't want to take care of himself, ask him if his life insurance is paid up because you want to be able to collect it when his diabetes kills him. I told my cousin who was doing nothing and ended up in ICU that when he starts losing limbs, vision and organ function, not to call me and tell me because all I am going to say is I told you so. His experience in the ICU must have scared him so he is taking care of his diabetes. He is now on Dialysis because of his failure to eat properly and exercise. He has no choice but to take care of himself.

Motivation only works if the person wants to be motivated or if they get to the point where they have no choice but to take care of something. If you are trying to motivate him, he could be hearing it as nagging and that will make him shut down. If you have diabetic friends or family members ask them to talk to him.

You can call his doctor and let him/her know what is going on. The doctor might be able to help with motivating him. Keep in mind that you can not make anyone do anything. He has to want to do this for himself and no one else.

older man
older man 2014-03-04 13:15:38 -0600 Report

Add some competition to his life. Start paying attention to another man. A man with diabetes who hasn't given up.