MIss manners really missed the mark on this

By mjhorgan Latest Reply 2014-03-06 19:14:55 -0600
Started 2014-03-02 17:16:52 -0600

Check out the article about some advice Miss Manners gave a diabetic. She really messed this one up.


21 replies

sazajay 2014-03-04 13:59:55 -0600 Report

I was asked to leave a cafe today because i tested my bg at the table. I didnt leave and argued my point… the restroom is unhygienic because its the only one there and its shared by everyone so i am not pricking my finger in a dirty restroom thats full of germs. Are asthmatics asked to use their puffer in the restroom? I think not.

mjhorgan 2014-03-06 19:14:55 -0600 Report

Test where you need to test. T!D do not always have the luxury of testing in the car before going into a restaurant. The tables in the places I eat are always cleaner that the restrooms. Many T2D do not understand the immediate impacts that insulin and food have on your body. I too have always and will continue to test just before I eat. Always refuse to leave a restaurant if ask to do so because of testing.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-06 17:15:37 -0600 Report

I was in a restaurant when a woman proceeded to test her blood at the table. Someone at the next table complained the the management. She tested just before she placed her order. The person with her was horrified that she was doing this. The manager asked her not to do that. She tried to argue her point. She would not leave. When the police arrived, they asked the manager if he was going to press charges. The woman still would not leave and continued to argue. The officer gave her another chance to leave and when she wouldn't, the manager had her arrested for disturbing the peace. Then she said she would leave as they handcuffed her. Everyone applauded.

What you did was unsanitary. Not one person in that restaurant knows whether or not you have a blood borne illness. The wait staff could have come into contact with your blood. The table is no more sanitary than the restroom. Why not test in your vehicle before entering the eatery. People don't want to see that and some people have blood and needle phobias. To say that they do not ask asthmatics to leave is because exposed blood is not involved.

Had you gotten blood on something, or a health inspector had been in the facility, you could have created a problem for the cafe. They would have had to shut down your area just to sanitize it. Had you gotten blood on the wait staff or another patron even by accident you could be sued. I never ever test in a public place. I do this out of consideration of others.

haoleboy 2014-03-03 15:04:30 -0600 Report

not all diabetics are considerate. I was in a Starbucks the other day (actually after having my labs done) and there was a used test strip lying on the floor next to our table.

mjhorgan 2014-03-03 15:30:59 -0600 Report

I understand that not all diabetics are considerate. All kinds of people are diabetics. There are nice ones and not so nice diabetics etc. I too have seen strips in odd places. However, I never jump to a conclusion that someone dropped it intentionally. I know many years ago I had a very low blood sugar on the commuter train. I was very confused and I tried to test my sugar. I remember dropping my test machine on the ground and strips went every where., I was not in a position to pick them all up. In fact one of my fellow passengers just happened to have apple drink in his bag and he helped me. Thank god. I know that for several months after that I would be on the same train car and I would see an occasional strip on the floor. (They don't clean the trains very often in Boston). Anyway, I did not drop them on purpose, and I hope people didn't think I did either.

haoleboy 2014-03-03 15:39:13 -0600 Report

true … there are instances beyond our control.
I've never tested outside my own home so guess I have no clue

mjhorgan 2014-03-03 15:41:56 -0600 Report

I consider every test strip to have some story I don't always understand. How do you avoid testing outside your home. I have to test before every meal, and I have to test every hour or so. It does not matter where I am.

haoleboy 2014-03-03 16:06:10 -0600 Report

pretty much home-bound thanks to some issues after a stroke. get out to grocery shop and for med appointments

GabbyPA 2014-03-03 09:53:24 -0600 Report

I suppose the passenger could have asked if the sight of blood bothered their fellow passenger prior to the test, but that may have just made it a bigger deal. I do understand that most of us would rather do things like that in private, but that is not always possible. Our sense of manners has been greatly changed over the years. I wonder what she would have done with her kid if she feared a low or was testing before the on flight snack? Specially if the "fasten seat belt" sign was on.

Type1Lou 2014-03-03 09:37:17 -0600 Report

Testing BG in public can usually be done discretely. I never hesitated to do so and only once drew a distressed look from one of my fellow diners. (I advised her to turn away and not look.) My experience is that most people around me aren't even paying attention. Prior to pumping, when on MDI, I would also inject discretely with the same results…no big deal, especially with the insulin pens. Since Miss Manners' son who is a diabetic is the one who actually wrote the response, I disagree with him…IMHO, he should know better.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2014-03-03 08:12:41 -0600 Report

Dear Miss Manners
Perhaps if a T1 (or T2) does as you suggest and wait to test in a potentially germ filled environment it could become an emergency. Call me, as a MRSA survivor, germaphobic. Or, if they are hesitant to use a restroom and wait too long to test it could become an emergency of another kind.
A Not Too Gentle Reader

mjhorgan 2014-03-03 09:36:19 -0600 Report

I agree, most public restrooms are disgusting, not a place to draw blood. Also, when a T1D need to test they need to do it ASAP. There is no time to wait to find a rest room.

jayabee52 2014-03-03 04:56:43 -0600 Report

MJ, How would you have answered this man's question?

mjhorgan 2014-03-03 05:44:32 -0600 Report

It is fine to test your BG in public. Just be discreet. If people ask be open to what you are doing. How would others have answered this question.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-03-06 17:18:10 -0600 Report

Exactly. If you have no choice but to do this in public do so discretely. On a plane, you can block the view with your body. However, EVERY public place is full of germs.

jayabee52 2014-03-03 06:55:00 -0600 Report

I would say much the same myself, however I am a PWD and "Miss manners", to my knowledge is not. I could not expect an enlightened (from the diabetes perspective) answer from her. Perhaps we could take it upon ourselves to enlighten her.