Alone and confused

By bruinsgirl978 Latest Reply 2014-02-21 23:54:41 -0600
Started 2014-02-16 20:17:51 -0600

I have been a Type 1 since 2001 and I have only been in control a handful of times. I have a pump and that was awesome until lately when I forget about being Diabetic. Now I am taking myself off it and going back to an insulin pen to get myself in check. I don't know anyone who is Diabetic and I hate feeling alone in this and I think that's maybe why I get so mad at this disease and ignore it. Anyone understand?

20 replies

MarkS 2014-02-19 12:52:53 -0600 Report

Hey Bruinsgirl, Going off the pump? Why oh why? I have been a Type 1 diabetic for a long time and have been on the pump (Medtronic) for about 16 years. Prior to that I was on the pen for my bolus and Ultralente for my basal, which was not ideal (too many lows and too many highs). Once I learned how to use the pump to my advantage I have been "normal" per my doctors analysis of my A1c and typical daily blood glucose patterns. I understand your anger and frustration; there are times when I think "to hell with this infusion site and tubing I am just going to throw it away." And then I look at the sunset, see the twinkle in my daughter's eyes, taste a beer, or smell the freshness of the a new day. I know that I need to keep plugging along and making sure I control my state of well-being. You are not alone; I am sure all people have despair, frustration, anger, and loneliness at some point in their life but its how you deal with it, So, Bruinsgirl, know that you are not alone - there are a lot of Type 1 diabetics and the numbers are growing (that's a whole discussion in and of itself). If you want, drop me a line and we can "talk."

NaoV1 2014-02-19 00:05:18 -0600 Report

Don't be Alone and Confused. Could it be that you "forget" you are a diabetic when your sugar is too high? It does affect memory sometimes. The sadder fact is diabetes most times comes in pairs - diabetes and blood pressure, or diabetes and depression, or diabetes and neuropathy (examples) . .Both Type 1 and Type 2 take insulin (not all Type 2, but some do, my late mother case in point). Realize you are NOT alone! :) . . .you just need to talk to "diabetic folks" (HAHA) . . Everyone on this planet has something not perfect, whether diabetes, or asthma, arthritis to cancer. But we all are human and all need support from another one. So, you are not Alone and Confused, you are diabetic and depressed - human and normal and here like the rest of us! <3

bruinsgirl978 2014-02-21 19:14:49 -0600 Report

I do forget and that's the problem. My dr thinks going back on shots will help me get back on track so that when I go back on the pump I will be better. I forget a lot! I am Type 1. I have been back on the insulin pens for 5 days now and am not perfect but doing much better. We are trying to retrain my mind kind of. Also I am in a lot of pain from scarring from the pump so it's giving my body a chance to heal too. I know the pump is best but I don't think it's always best for everyone. Right now we are looking st injections for six months then trying the pump again.

NaoV1 2014-02-21 23:54:41 -0600 Report

Well shoot . .have you tried post it note reminders on your mirror or keeping it by your rest rooom sink? LOL :D (just ideas) . .

Type1Lou 2014-02-18 17:07:51 -0600 Report

What can I say to help you get over the anger? I agree that having diabetes is a bummer but I don't waste emotion on the fact that I have it…that just makes it harder to control and I can't change the fact of my diabetes. I can control how I handle it though. I was diagnosed at age 27 and am now 65… I just started pumping in 2011 and I understand about running out of places to infuse…(and I don't use a CGM!) Like many others here have replied, I'd encourage you to get back on the pump because it does provide better control and most closely mimics what a fully functioning healthy pancreas does. YOU alone can make the decisions you need to make (or choose not to make) to gain control…it sounds to me that you're on the road to making those decisions. We're behind you all the way and we do understand. Hugs,

Set apart
Set apart 2014-02-18 06:10:12 -0600 Report

You are definitely not alone, I have only been a T1 for a little over 2 years, and there are a lot of times I want to be ME again, I was 48 when I was diagnosed. You have to try, WE can never give this disease the control, you're driving this baby, and although every day is a fight, you have the right to be happy, to have a good, healthy life. Don't giveup, the bruises we have are a reminder of our battles we have won! Keep your head up!

GranmaJoyce 2014-02-17 20:27:49 -0600 Report

Alone and Confused…I feel exactly the same way..after reading your message I wonder what type I Am 1 or 2. I have to take insulin shots before meals and snacks and a differ type in the am and pm. I feel sick all the time! My life has gone to hell!! I cant seem to get anything done like I use to, nor do things like I use to. It is making more and more depressed every day!!! I Have went from 115LBS to 96LBS (that was normal all my life) But all of a sudden once I get this disease I know weigh 175LBS and I don't eat much at all!!!! Maybe if we just talk about stuff we will both feel better!!!!

jayabee52 2014-02-18 10:18:54 -0600 Report

Howdy GrandmaJoyce

That you have to take insulin doesn't make you T1, for sure. I am T2 and for a while took NPH insulin twide a day. If you really wanna know what type you are ask your Dr to do some tests which would determine your type.

About your weight gain, a person often gains weight on insulin, but when that happens that is usually due to eating too many carbohydrates. When the carbs available to your body are more than you need to fuel your body the excess gets stored as fat in the adipose tissues throughout one's body. So while you may not eat much at all, perhaps what you are eating is the wrong type of food. May I suggest eating more protein instead? (not saying to not eat carbs at all - just reduce them)

God's best to you and yours

James Baker

GranmaJoyce 2014-02-19 00:35:45 -0600 Report

I Howdy yourself jayabee52

I guess I needed to explain myself about my eating habits. I don't eat many carbs that I know off. I eat lots and lots of salads because I Love Salad (lettuce kind not pasta) I really eat like a rabbit. The only time I can think of that I get a lot of carbs is when I visit friends and may eat sometimes, but even then I know to eat 1/3 to 1/2 cup. I do like my Beef and Chicken and Fish! But don't get much!!! I was told by someone else that you gain weight just because of taking insulin? I take 2 dif types of insulin, maybe that contributes more?? I

jayabee52 2014-02-20 11:16:00 -0600 Report

I agree with that someone who said that about the insulin. I found that out for myself, but it was due to me eating too many carbs (they're sneaky little suckers residing in thing like sauces and breading) and having higher BG levels which because of the insulin, got stored as fat.

Jackson704 2014-02-17 18:41:42 -0600 Report

I understand where you come from but I am a Type II and on two insulins and victoza and oral medication. It is so hard to control it. When I get stressed whether it be from sickness, pain, or work, my sugar goes crazy. I get so fustrated, I quit taking care of myself until I get even more miserable then I start over again. From exercise, trying to lose weight and eating right, i feel like I have it all and nothing works but I keep trying to get better each time I fail——I do feel I am improving but it is a battle every minute of the day.

Young1s 2014-02-17 18:36:32 -0600 Report

You have come to the right place…you are not alone here. I am 3 going on 4 years into this and some days I think I know it all, and others I am clueless. It's the nature of the annoyance.

Here's the funny thing, my mom has been diabetic all "my" life. But she never talked about it until I found out that I was diabetic. Now we talk about it regularly and even got the same meters so we can test and keep tabs on one anothers levels.

So you do know other diabetics, they just aren't talking about it, for whatever reason. But like I said, we are here for you, so you're never alone.

bruinsgirl978 2014-02-17 12:02:26 -0600 Report

The pump is great but no matter what my body needs a break from it. I am covered in bruises and need healing time. Not in denial so much as just annoyed and angry but I fight every day.

jayabee52 2014-02-17 16:26:39 -0600 Report

I was reacting to your comment "I get so mad at this disease and ignore it." Ignoring your Diabetes speaks to denying that it is important in your life and from other responses to other posters here you clearly do care about your self care and have a plan to address it. So I withdraw my "denial" comment.

jayabee52 2014-02-17 07:11:35 -0600 Report

Howdy Bruinsgirl
Denial, Been there (as a T2) done that, didn't like it. Didn't get the Tshirt. But instead I got some complications from it that I now suffer.

praying you get off this denial phase soon!

James Baker

RedShine 2014-02-16 22:39:07 -0600 Report

If you ask me you should get back on the pump as soon as possible. I know it's easy to forget you have diabetes with the pump, but you just have to take responsibility for your condition. It's part of you, so you might as well manage it as best as you can.

bruinsgirl978 2014-02-16 22:20:35 -0600 Report

The pump works great but I have been on it sex years and have lots of marks n skin issues. Giving my skin a break and also me a break from being hooked up 24/7. I am only taking a pump vacation and will go back on it in a few months.

ashley50 2014-02-16 21:56:17 -0600 Report

I know what you mean, i was 15 when i got diagnosed. & now i am 19, i am just now getting mine under controlled. I always think i am alone in this town, but you have to keep your head up & know that you are not a lone in this! There are plenty of people out there dealing with this stuff. You just need to try & get it under controlled to help you feel better & for your future. I am way more controlled on my pump, not the pen's. Did the pump not work for you?

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