Okay...Stupid Me

By Young1s Latest Reply 2014-03-01 02:01:55 -0600
Started 2014-02-16 20:16:31 -0600

The title says it all. I have a drinking problem, big time. But I thought I had it under control. NOT!

Suffice it to say, spent a week in the hospital (2 weeks ago) and am now reteaching my system to be good to my pancreas. I hate it, hate me, hate the fact that I'm in this situation.

I suck!! I know what I need to do to be a better diabetic…and I know I can do it…but dammit, sometimes I just want to drink!

Love the taste, love the buzz, love the way I can talk to people, love it all.

I know I can quit, and should quit. But do I want to…there is the question!

Tags: stress

31 replies

JaredLahti 2014-02-24 22:49:11 -0600 Report

I know how you are feeling about the drinking. I made a huge mistake about 5 years ago and got really drunk and brought on my seizures. Since then I have slipped up one other time and paid the price again. I have not had a single drink since New Years 2013. I had to pay the price to the point it was no longer worth it. I am fully capable of having one drink, but I really do enjoy the feeling of getting drunk so I have chosen to never get in that position ever again. In the last year and a half I have taken my A1c from like a 10 down to a 5.4. I like to think that it is due to a whole life approach of no alcohol, working out and eating right. Good luck.

Young1s 2014-03-01 02:01:55 -0600 Report

Thank you for your story Jared. I wish and want to be in the same possition a year from now. I applaud your efforts and hope that I too can be helping someone else in the same position some day soon. Keep up the good fight, as I will also.

Young1s 2014-02-23 19:40:15 -0600 Report

I just found the discussion I started when I was at my better self.


I know I can be this possitive women/self again. I'm gonna punch, kick and fight till I get back there again. Thank you all for the responses and support. I needed to hear all the advice and will look to be better, with great help for as long as it takes.

Thank you all again!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-02-21 22:04:19 -0600 Report

Hey Young1s,

Nice to see you, my friend. And I just want to say that I really appreciate your honesty.

I hope you won't label yourself as stupid. What's important is that you recognized that you have a problem, and that you need to do something about it. Alcohol and diabetes don't work well together. And I am guessing, from what you said, that with or without the diabetes, you are concerned about the effect that your alcohol use is having on your life.

I really encourage you to get some help. Don't go through this alone. You might look into local treatment resources in your community, where you could get individual or group counseling. You might also look into AA and do the 12 step approach. You might want to meet with a counselor. But I hope you will do something.

What would help is to understand your drinking. What your triggers are. How to develop alternative coping skills that would be more healthy than drinking. And to have support from others who are on the same path.

I hope you will take care of yourself and that means addressing your alcohol use. But self-criticism isn't the way to do it. Reach out for help.

And stay in touch with us!


Young1s 2014-02-22 23:27:36 -0600 Report

Hey Doc. I hear all you're saying and know this to be true for me. I have an appointment with my primary on Monday and plan to have a serious and somewhat painfull conversation with her. I say painfull because, while I can talk to her about anything, I hate to dissapoint her as much as I disappoint my family. We are all in this together, I know she feels the pain and such when I feel it. Hell, I was one of her candidates (when I had quit) on her roster of speaking to others about the joys of quitting. I turned her down. Just another why/what for that I need to come to grips with. Maybe I saw this outcome, or maybe I didn't want to live up to the hype, giving me a way out.

At ay rate, I know it's my major problem in life. At least for right now. Okay, I'll stop calling myself stupid. If I was stupid I wouldn't recognize my problem right?

As much as I'm dredding the convo with my doc, I'm looking forward to it. Because I know between her, my D nurse and the rest of my support system, I will have an idea and hopefully a new name of a counselllor that I can confide in to get this and my life back under control.

Thank you doc for your continued encouragement.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-02-27 12:27:51 -0600 Report

Hi YOung1s,

Glad to hear you are working on this with your doctor. That is a very big step in the right direction. Excellent. I hope you won't let shame get in the way. We are imperfect. And you are doing the best you can. Asking for help is a brave thing to do, nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope you will keep us posted on how you're doing. Wishing you the best as you move forward on this.


winn230 2014-02-20 20:58:35 -0600 Report

I would like to talk to tomorrow because I drink a lot too. I drink beer and Jaeger and now my diet has to change because of nephrotic syndrome and qI have to be on a low-protein diet but that's going to stop me from drinking. Let's talk.

Young1s 2014-02-21 15:14:51 -0600 Report

We can certainly talk. I've tried the just a beer route but it usually turns into wanting more or wanting the harder stuff. My man said something to me years ago that rings true for me now. I run hot or cold in things. In this instance it's overdoing it with the alcohol or not having any at all. Like I said, I quit for an entire year but stupidly started up again. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I don't drink. But the days that I do are the problem. Sometimes tipsy isn't good enough. I know it may seem like I'm revealing too much but being honest with you all is being honest with myself. Know what I mean? Hopefully my situation can help to reveal/open the eyes to someone else about themselves. I can live with that.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-20 14:08:05 -0600 Report

Young no matter what anyone says, you are the only one to answer that question. If you love the buzz, the taste, and the way you can talk to people then you are not going to stop.

You have got to get it together. You know what you need to do. I think for some people alcohol gives them a false sense of courage which is why you are able to talk to people.

Alcohol and diabetes are not a good match because over time it will mess up your liver and kidneys. There is nothing wrong with having a drink from time to time but you still have to eat properly with it.

If you don't know if you want to stop, talk to a therapist. Good luck my friend.

Young1s 2014-02-21 14:58:26 -0600 Report

I know your right Joyce, which is why that last question was mostly retoricle. I have a problem but it is well within my capabilities to fix it. I have the support and availability to the tools. I just need to once again dig deeper and find that place where my true inner strength lies.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-21 22:18:30 -0600 Report

Digging down deeper to find that inner strength can be very hard for some. I hope you get some help. There are times when we cannot do things such as what you are trying to do without help.

Ski6 2014-02-18 22:55:59 -0600 Report

In case you dont know. Its important to test frequent and eat when you drink. Be careful with correction boluses. Alcohol will make your sugar drop hours later.

Ski6 2014-02-18 22:50:52 -0600 Report

Hi young1s, im new here. Started today because its been rough regulating the diabetes. I wear a pump which helps alot. But still alot of ups and downs. I think that alone can play with our emotions. At least it does with mine.
About drinking i had a hospital visit also years ago. Also a few black outs. The best i can do for now is, i try not to drink heavy liquors. I try to have just one beer. But it doesnt always work. Your not stupid alcohol is tricky. Did you ever read what its doing to the diabetes. I mean as you drink. Not years down the road. Its very helpful. Your in my prayer.

Young1s 2014-02-21 14:52:18 -0600 Report

One thing I do know about my drinking is it will give me some scary lows and cause serious injury to my pancreas. Hence the hopitalization. So I do know what your saying. Thank you for the prayers.

pjrobinsonnnn 2014-02-18 11:27:26 -0600 Report

I understand. Don't you wish you could just turn off a switch? You don't suck. Keep writing, everyday. Write the good, the bad, mostly…the truth. Good Luck!

Nick1962 2014-02-18 09:33:25 -0600 Report

I came from a part of the country that considers drinking an Olympic sport – summer or winter, and have medaled in the “sliding down a snow covered hill on my butt without spilling a drop” event several times. I know stupid very well, and am living proof God watches over babies and stupid people.
Can’t offer anything that hasn’t been already said, except the hope that whatever power gave you the urge, will also take it away and you’ll carry on.

Young1s 2014-02-21 14:41:54 -0600 Report

Thank you Nick…I say that all the time, more than I should maybe, but the saying is true. I know I can come to a place where will overcomes want…just hope it's some time soon.

byrun 2014-02-18 09:00:03 -0600 Report

Good morning my friend. I do disagree about the "title" and especially your first statement. This is not you at all. Never will be. You and I joined our DC family about the same time. You have always been forthright about this part of your life. We have rejoiced with you in your victories and lamented the setbacks, as you have done with us,,,diabetic or otherwise. I appreciate you for your strengths. Compassion for family and friends, determination, character…and I think you can also be quite a character at times. l-o-l Reading your responses, I am happy to see you are back. Welcome home!!!! Well wishes for you always.

Young1s 2014-02-23 14:07:02 -0600 Report

Hey Byrun. Thank you so much for your well wishes, the encouraging words and for reminding why I come here. Even though we are all miles apart from one another, we still feel this sincere connection of distant relatives, huh?

That first year and a half was my wonder years, I guess. Now it's time to find my true grit. But I'm a fighter and will press on, but with some more help this this time. With any luck, by this time next week I will be meeting with a new counselor that I feel comfortable with confiding in. And thanks again, feels good to be home.

jigsaw 2014-02-17 08:31:16 -0600 Report

Here's the answer! I know you for a few years on DC. Stupid, hardly! Intelligent, kind, beautiful children, and a good husband! That's the Young1s I know. Why risk losing it all? I know it can be extremely tough to manage diabetes alone. Having an additonal problem must be beyond difficult.
Ok, Ok, I know you're well aware of what I'm saying. I know well you're not into long winded speeches. But, I have to ask you this. On what level are you aware of what you and I've said above? Are you aware on a very deep level? Is it possible that you are allowing yourself to be consumed by your denial? Of course it's frustrating, and difficult. Many people can not lick these problems without help. Have you ever considered counseling?

Young1s 2014-02-17 18:10:40 -0600 Report

Aww Jigsaw…love you for that. Not to toot my own horn but yes. I do know this of myself (all of the above and then some). I'm just my worst enemy at times. And yes I am reconsidering counseling. It was counseling that got me through a year of sobriety. Unfortunately, the guy I was seeing was on a grant (something like that) and is no longer there. But I'll find someone else. Keep me in the prayer circle though.

jayabee52 2014-02-17 07:01:16 -0600 Report

Howdy P
I am so sorry to hear you'd "fallen off the wagon".

I remember a while ago (9 mo to 1 yr?) that you started down the path of sobriety. I understand how folks can be seduced into a life of inebriation, and I have no condemnation of you (you seem to be doing good enough job of it all by yourself). I would encourage you to quit, but even if I were there with you in person, I doubt I could do much to keep you from drinking if you really wanted to drink. Know that I will do all that I can from here to encourage you further down the path of sobriety. If you ever need to talk privately, friend, my inbox is always open to you.

I will pray that you answer the question of quitting in the affirmative and that you continue down the path of sobriety for the rest of your life.

James Baker

Young1s 2014-02-17 18:03:53 -0600 Report

ty James. We go a ways back don't we. And you're right, if you were here I'd still do what I want to do. Thing is, I need to quit and want to quit. Problem is my want and need don't coincide at the moment. Or don't have the weight that they should. I'll figure it out, that's my hope. I'm a fighter James, so don't count me out just yet.

jayabee52 2014-02-18 10:02:12 -0600 Report

Not in the least will I count you out! Will continue in prayer to God for your safety and for your sobriety.

ashley50 2014-02-16 21:59:06 -0600 Report

You know that you can be a better diabetic! I believe in you. I hope that you can get through this and over come this! For your health & your future. When you drink why don't you just take your insulin?

Young1s 2014-02-17 17:54:15 -0600 Report

ty Ashley. I know I am better than this but it gets the better of me on occassion. Will continue to fight the good fight though;

bruinsgirl978 2014-02-16 20:32:16 -0600 Report

I understand. I used to love to drink and still do but I black out and stopped somewhat. Still haven't gotten the Diabetes under control but I am trying. It's very hard because I hate it so much. But I have a husband and stepson now and they need me so I have to try.

Young1s 2014-02-17 17:52:01 -0600 Report

I try hard to put my family first, and in most ways I do, but this monkey is a hard one to shake. Praying for both of us.

Next Discussion: Alone and confused »