i wanna die

By Anonymous Latest Reply 2014-02-18 01:04:37 -0600
Started 2014-02-15 22:13:02 -0600

my gram died last sat its so hard to deal with if shit cant get any FUCKING worse I got hospitalized wensday I went to her viewing on wensday morning then todday had a service missed that cause im in the fucking hospital and I got surgery on my foot today I got a toe amputated and a chunk of my bone idn why I bother telling u this story know one ever comments on my shit I really wanna join my friend and shoot myself but im to much of a pussy that would end all this suffering

Tags: depressed

1 reply

jayabee52 2014-02-17 09:09:04 -0600 Report

Howdy Anon
I will comment on your post here. (no need for the crude profanities, I suspect it is off-putting to many as this is a "PG 13 site").

You think things can't get worse? You have NO IDEA of how bad things can really get for a person with diabetes (PWD). I didn't take care of my diabetes early on and now I have Kidney disease and have to have dialysis 3 X week for 4 hrs per treatment. Essentially 6 hrs out of every 3 days a week is taken up by my need for getting my blood cleaned.

Another complication that I have experienced from my denial and neglect of my diabetes is neuropathy. I have a burning sensation from my knees down to and including my feet. Every step I take is PAINFUL. Sometimes the pain keeps me awake at night. I also have neuropathy in my arms down to my fingertips. Fortunately for me it only tingles like a limb falling asleep. Glad it is not burning like my feet. That'd make typing this a real chore. I also have intermittent gastro paresis, where when I am affected the valve between the stomach and the intestines is unable to open at the right time. Screws up my BG levels!

And what has happened to me is not the worst that can happen to PWDs who don't take care of themselves. Have you heard of Charcot foot? That is where the bones of the foot become brittle and one day a wrong step is taken and the bones of the foot are turned into a broken mess. Recovery, if even possible, is long slow and painful. Recently someone wrote that they have recovered from Charcot, and I suggest you put charcot into the DC search engine to see what turns up.

There are a LOT more complications which could happen to you. And uncontrolled diabetes will generally not kill you outright, it will take you a little bit at a time. (like you just discovered with your toe)

Should you want to talk further about stuff relating to diabetes (or stuff in general) I encourage you to friend me, so we can talk privately.

Praying for God's best for you

James Baker .