I Am Not an Uncontrolled Diabetic by Choice

By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2014-02-21 07:33:53 -0600
Started 2014-02-13 08:50:31 -0600

Have you ever felt this way? I know I have. I feel great about my diet and all the exercise I am doing. Taking my meds and never missing. And still, I struggle for good control.

I read this article today in Diabetes Health and it just resonated with me. http://diabeteshealth.com/read/2014/02/11/814...

The crux of her story is the lack of empathy she gets from her doctor. The way she is just a chart with him now, where before he would take time to help her. But there was one statement she had in there that really caught my attention. "I am not an uncontrolled diabetic by choice".

It made me think about why my doctor treats me with less than a helpful demeanor. He just thinks that I am uncontrolled because I don't care. That I am non compliant so I don't deserve his attention. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and while I am limited in the care I can afford, sometimes I feel like it's as good as no care at all. At least when I did it on my own before, I didn't have the added judgement of someone who just sees me as numbers on a piece of paper.

How does your doctor make you feel? Do you get to really have his attention in your office visits? Do you work at following your doctor's directions, but still not meet your goals?

31 replies

vrswesley 2014-02-19 23:06:35 -0600 Report

I find the articail believable.. I have a doc that used to be great as Ive said.. actually she still good in many areas.. great bedside manner just doesnt believe me on certain topics.. I will be firing her soon as i find a replacement. I do need a doc that will "hold my hand" guess different strokes for different folks.

rontexas2 2014-02-18 22:10:59 -0600 Report

Sorry, but I have a totally different outlook on the need and value of my physician. I am in charge of my life and my physician is there when needed to order tests and give advice. It has not always been that way because I felt similar to what you are reporting and then talked with other diabetics and read a few good books on diabetes management. Once I took control of my own disease, my A1C dropped from the range of seven to nines and I've kept a consistent mid-fives for the last couple of years. I am 75 yrs of age, try keeping my carb intake for each day under fifty grams, but eat healthy and exercise regularly. I had a choice and I chose to be in control and do what was necessary to live a happy healthy life controlling my diabetes and expect to continue this way for at least a decade or more into the future.

GabbyPA 2014-02-19 08:25:36 -0600 Report

This is great and is my goal as well. Unfortunately, I am on prescriptions, and you have to have a doctor to get that. I tried going without and it was pretty much a disaster. But I keep working at it.

rontexas2 2014-02-19 21:47:54 -0600 Report

I think you missed my point. Doctors have a job to do writing prescriptions, ordering tests, and counseling patients. But the most important person in that interaction is you and your willingness to assume responsibility for management of your diabetes. No one else can do that for you.

GabbyPA 2014-02-20 08:16:14 -0600 Report

I agree. I guess in my world though, I get very disheartened when I ask for the help I need and it doesn't really get conveyed. Maybe I am just not communicating right? I don't know. I know it's up to me to do for myself. Sometimes I need good guidance and don't get it from my doctor. I get much more guidance and encouragement here.

vrswesley 2014-02-19 22:50:26 -0600 Report

Im not sure if this is what youre saying or not.. Im not trying to be rude.. but what im hearing is that if ywe want to be in control..we just have to choose to be and we will be..I dont think its that easy.. Is that what youre saying? Ihave to say
i disagree..but just my opinion. forgive me if thats not what youment.

rontexas2 2014-02-21 07:33:53 -0600 Report

No, that is not what I am saying. However, the struggle with diabetes is never easy. It is daily and unending (at this time). Life is not easy, but as a patient, I must assume responsibility for my health. This means being an active person, county my carbs, taking my medications, and Very Very importantly getting regular exercise in order for the insulin I take regularly to circulate and do its job of converting glucose into energy. I went for too many years feeling frustrated until I decided that no one else could do the job but myself. It was the same after my wife died. Who was going to cook meals, clean house, do laundry, pay bills, etc. If it going to get done, then I have to do it. What I am suggesting is that a person has to chose and act on that decision to be in control of his/her battle…no that is not easy.

IronOre 2014-02-13 23:36:51 -0600 Report

I take articles like that with a grain of salt.
There is no way to prove or disprove anything that it written in it, including how she was treated at her doctor's office, so I take it as fiction.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-16 17:16:08 -0600 Report

IronOre you know people believe everything they find and read on the internet without bothering to check to see if it is factual. Like you, I payed no attention to this person and I certainly do not feel sorry for her.

IronOre 2014-02-16 17:48:25 -0600 Report

I also wonder why someone would think of writing an article after having a not-so-good experience at a doctor.
I think she needed to write an article about someone so she came up with this fictional visit to the doctor.
Of my 39 years of being T1 I have never had such a visit to the doctor, and I doubt if I ever will.

jayabee52 2014-02-18 20:48:27 -0600 Report

Iron it is interesting that you find falsehood in this author's article. I'd be interested in how you came to that conclusion.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-16 18:15:48 -0600 Report

I have had them but I either dumped the doctor or told the doctor how I expected to be treated and fixed the problem.

People will write or verbally complain about a problem they are having but will not say anything to the person that is causing the problem. People will always treat you the way you allow them to treat you. As I say, speak up or shut up. I think this woman was bored and needed something to do.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-13 20:27:54 -0600 Report

First of all people treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you. If you act like a door mat, people will wipe their feet on you. This includes doctors. Johns Hopkins Hosptial is world reknown according to a poll on physican care in their hospital and other facilities they have doctors with the worse bedside manner in the state. They didn't make the grade in the survey. The do not teach Bedside Manners 101 in Medical School. Compassion for others is learned at a young age depending on how the child interacts with other kids and adults and I beleive can be based on the enviornment the child lives in.

Not everyone has emphathy, cares that you are upset, is going to hold your hand and commiserate with you and that includes doctors. I had a GYN doctor do a biopsy and assured me that he would call me back and that I had ovarian cancer. He got up and walked out of the room and left me sitting there in shock. He did not call me back so I called my doctor who got the results. Turned out the doctor was his student at one point. He chewed him out for his arrogance and the doctor called me. I closed my office door and handed him his head on a platter. I suffer from Brain to Mouth Disorder and I am not afraid to speak my mind. I never went back for a follow up because I did not have cancer.

What gets me is that people will complain to everyone else about how their doctors treat them. Does it ever occur to anyone to complain to the doctor? If you can't speak up for yourself then stop complaining to others. No one is going to speak up for you but you. Not one person is going to fight for your life better than you.

To answer your questions Gabby, I have a great relationship with my new doctor since I told the other one that she was arrogant, a phony, self rightous, uncaring and that I could not stand looking at her and I wanted to be assigned to someone else. My Brain to Mouth Disorder kicked in. I have a new doctor and we work well together. He is attentive, compassionate and he discusses needed changes with me and explains why he wants something done. My doctor does not set goals for me, I set them for myself. I don't live up to anyones expectations but my own. If I tell him what goal I am going to try to reach, he supports it or modifies it. If I fail he isn't disappointed and most of the time neither am I.

So if you feel your doctor is not treating you in a manner you feel isn't right for you, either speak up or find another doctor.

GabbyPA 2014-02-14 08:24:01 -0600 Report

I do not have a choice of doctors. While our relationship in the beginning was really good, it digressed more each time I visited. That is why this lady's story struck me. She used to have a good relationship with her doctor and now we have just become a computer screen of numbers. I have told my doctor that I am not really happy, I have sought second opinions on things he doesn't agree with me on, and I think that is what started to upset him. But I am stuck with him, or no one. So I just deal with it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-14 16:19:03 -0600 Report

Gabby, I can understand your feeling the way you do. Your doctor probably feel you don't trust him. I think doctors get offended when patients ask for a second opinion. I would sit down and tell him how I feel and tell him that you are not a number on a computer screen. You don't have to deal with it. Speak up and tell him you don't want to change doctors, you like what he does but you want to be treated better. Tell him you don't expect anything more and won't accept anything less. Not everyone can change doctors. I changed to another doctor in the same office and my doctor did not like it. She has no business having an MD. She is just a very nasty person.

GabbyPA 2014-02-14 16:26:27 -0600 Report

Sometimes you have to pick your battles. If he is my only option, I don't need to tick him off to where he just ignores me. The ruffled feathers started when I kept asking him to check my feet for neuropathy, and he didn't want to for a long time and when he finally did, he said I was "fine". So I went to my podiatrist and he diagnosed me with neuropathy and actually took time to explain to me how it works and how it tends to progress. That was what started the downward spiral.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-02-16 17:15:01 -0600 Report

Ok so you allow yourself to be mistreated because you don't want to ruffle his feathers but it is ok for him to ruffle yours? There is something wrong with that picture. However, if he refused to check your feet for neuropathy, and had a podiatrist, why did you wait to see him?

I bet he is having a great time doing what he pleases to you because he knows you don't have enough guts to speak up for yourself. If people providing a service to you and you are paying them, you never allow them to mistreat you. Even if I could not change doctors, I would never allow him to mistreat me. I would send a letter to the medical board even if I know they are not going to act on it and send a copy to him certified mail just so he knows about it. You can't let someone mistreat you and complain about it. That is all your fault.

GabbyPA 2014-02-17 05:27:42 -0600 Report

Uh...money. Everything I do comes out of pocket, so there are many issues at play here. I do not wait because I choose to. I wait generally because I have to.

rubytinker 2014-02-18 01:49:02 -0600 Report

I have a great primary care dr., which helps a lot, but my rhumatologist (I also have RA and fibromyalgia) is very hard to work with and understand. It's sad that either financial concerns, doctor shortages, or insurance requirements so limits our choice in doctors and our ability to get second opinions.

GabbyPA 2014-02-18 08:14:06 -0600 Report

Gone are the days when we have one doctor that knows us in and out. I had one when I lived in Miami, and I miss her. She was my doctor, but also a friend and that made it easier for her to know me.

ottersonrem@gmail.com maerceci
ottersonrem@gmail.com maerceci 2014-02-20 10:54:17 -0600 Report

I don't get much guidance fm my doc either and im still learning how to do the diabetic connect I don't know how to writs any body I don't even know whos reading this but a im the same way would like more guidance from my doctor seems like shes just to busey !!!!!

GabbyPA 2014-02-20 14:22:39 -0600 Report

The replies to anything are public and anyone can read them. You can send private messages to your friends by clicking on their profile and you will see a box that says "send a message" with a little envelope in it. That is only available on profiles you are friends with.

Stuart1966 2014-02-13 19:09:27 -0600 Report

I never suffer white coats. Tolerated, Endured, Never suffered never will.

Call them on the perception, the behavior, and make certain he/she/they address it…

Have little or no use for 99.95% of doctors, won't tolerate their condescension, nor their omniscience, arrogance. My goals have ZERO to do with white coats… not ever -brief smirk-.

Glucerna 2014-02-13 18:09:11 -0600 Report

Each person deserves to work with a physician who is honest, open and caring and who truly listens to you and your concerns. In diabetes care we talk about a patient-centered model, where the person with diabetes is in charge and the health professionals work with her to meet her goals. I know not every physician works this way, but as others have said - caring physicians who listen to you are out there, and you owe it to yourself to keep looking for them. ~Lynn @Glucerna

jarett88 2014-02-13 16:20:14 -0600 Report

A good doc is hard to find. The one I have is great. As I said before they work for you. You can fire them. Voice your concerns always. If they treat you bad tell them in a nice way or a loud way. Good luck.

Scarlet03 2014-02-14 22:50:56 -0600 Report

I've had to fire a couple of my doctors in the past cause they just weren't listening. I've been with my newest doctor for a couple of years. They've been absolutely wonderful. I'm very comfortable with them and tell them what's wrong to a tee. Which led me to a neurosurgeons care for the last 6 months. I'm glad for it cause it saved me. Being type 2 diabetic on insulin and other stuff taboot.. it can get complicated. So I need a doctor even if it's small. To have a good ear

Silicone eyes
Silicone eyes 2014-02-13 10:11:11 -0600 Report

There is no worse feeling than doing everything right, and still…nothing. My doctor when I was dx'd was born in post-war Germany, and evidently didn't get the memo that a smile or laughter was now acceptable, no A1c was ever good enough. The endo I've had for 5?? years was actually as excited as I was to hit a 7.5 a few months back. A good doctor, and a whole medical team has been a huge help.

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