Dangerous to compare your progress with others

By EJMac Latest Reply 2014-02-01 23:22:38 -0600
Started 2014-01-28 13:31:22 -0600

I have a very dear friend who was extremely overweight. She went on the hormone diet (daily injections) in May. I was traveling and we met in Sedona in May before her diet. I saw her when we got home about Christmas and she has now lost 125 lbs-down to size 6. Without any exercise either. Diabetics can't be on that diet.
I have working very hard for 3 weeks and have only lost 2 lbs. It's very discouraging. I hope my friend can keep off the weight, but all I can think is I would love to do it quickly not at a snails pace. I am happy for her-she probably has given herself many more years. We are both 61, but I am diabetic taking insulin. Now I'm reading it's even more difficult to lose weight while on insulin-lucky me. Trying to remember it's one day at a time and not compare my results with my friends BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO.

20 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-02-01 23:22:38 -0600 Report

Hey EJMac,

Nice to meet you. I really appreciate your honesty here. I think you are experiencing something that is common to us humans: Comparing ourselves to others.\

What I always tell my counseling clients is that if you constantly compare yourself to other people, you are always going to come up short. It's a set-up for a let-down. We are all on our own path, with our own unique physical and emotional make-up. It's not fair, but a lot of life isn't so fair. On the other hand, I suspect there are many who look at you and would like to have the successes you are experiencing.

So I hope you will go easy on your self. You are doing the best you can. Keep the faith, stay on the path, one foot before the other.

And as you can see from the replies you received, you are not alone.


meadowrose 2014-02-01 15:29:39 -0600 Report

It is difficult to not compare our results with others. But one thing that might be helpful to remember is that everyone is different and are often at different points in their journey with diabetes; and some have challenges others don't. In a way, we're all like snowflakes ~~ no two of us are exactly alike in what we're dealing with (aside from diabetes in general, that is).

EJMac 2014-02-01 13:36:40 -0600 Report

Thanks everybody for your replies. I am determined to do this and lose the 25 lbs. I know that this will be a lifestyle change, but I am committed to it. It's Feb 1. Wish me luck. By April 30 I would like to be down 25 lbs. For me weighing daily only sets me off for failure. I think once every 2 weeks might be better for me until I reach my goal and change to daily after that.

jayabee52 2014-01-31 15:15:17 -0600 Report

Howdy again EJ.

I had answered this posting earlier but every time I see your title (just the title) something pops into my head: (not taking into account the remainder of this original post) I am thinking that sometimes it can be inspiring or encouraging to compare your progress to others. Sometimes we can be positively inspired to make changes to our lifestyle or meal plan by comparing my progress. Without comparing what I was doing to several others here on DC at the time I would not have even had an inkling that I could try to manage my T2 without diabetes meds.

So rather than being dangerous for me comparison was informative and inspirational. And (if what they say is accurate) I have in turn inspired others, which gratifies me greatly.


EJMac 2014-02-01 13:27:45 -0600 Report

James I would like a copy of the diet you were on. Seems like you did real well. You have some of the same medical problems that I do. I think the low-carb or no=carb diet would be good for me. I do like vegetables cooked mostly. Not a fan of a lot of protein at one time, but if I have to I have to. I am giving myself 3 mos to lose 25 lbs. I don't think that is too much to expect. I am willing to work for it. Like I said it's really hard when my buddy lost 125 lbs in 7 months - she looks terrific. please send what worked for you. I would appreciate it. Thanks Elaine

Glucerna 2014-01-31 16:05:31 -0600 Report

That's an interesting twist in looking at comparing ourselves to others, James.. I've been reading a lot about reframing situations and looking for the positives within even difficult situations. By objectively comparing our behaviors with others, we can learn something new. Interesting. ~Lynn @Glucerna

Type1Lou 2014-01-31 14:08:16 -0600 Report

It's not the insulin "per-se" that makes you gain weight. It is the ability that the insulin gives your body to use and/or store the food that you eat. I have found that by limiting my carb intake to 120 grams per day, I have been able to maintain my weight at 120 lbs (+ or - 5 lbs) for the last 12 years. I am 64 and have had diabetes since age 27. I started using an insulin pump in 2011 and was on MDI (multiple daily injections) of Lantus and Novolog prior to pumping.

TopazDee 2014-01-31 09:42:47 -0600 Report

That weight loss sounds fine I am on a low fat nil sugar way of life overseen by my GP I get told off (in the nicest possible way) if I loose to much in a month as she says if you loose weight to fast you are more likely to put on that plus more later on, I went on just a low fat way of life as I was so fed up with the pain in injured joints in October 2013 then in the November I had a chest infection it turned nasty hubby had to call ambulance my blood sugars were 28 (not sure what that is in other countries) I was admitted, Dr's couldn't agree if I had Type 2 Diabetes or if it was the steroids I had been prescribed spiking them they decided to air on the side of caution and gave me Metformin I had a very bad reaction to it akin to food poisoning and had to be put on a drip they then changed me to Gliclazide (Zicron) since when my BG's have been between the UK accepted levels 3 to 7 and my weight has steadily decrease, on Wednesday went for my monthly weigh in I have lost 3st which my GP is very pleased about, I have another 5st to go but am convinced that embracing my new eating regime as a new way of life not a diet due to weight and being a Type 2 diabetic although my weight loss will slow up a bit I will get to required weight. I to am disabled and cannot exercise, on the plus side my hubby is a great cook and makes sure I eat the right thing even though he will not try many of the new things I do, It would be nice if they did a just for one Diabetic cook book they all seem to be 4+ people recipes.
Wishing you every success in your new way of life.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-31 18:13:14 -0600 Report

Topaz very good points. When I was first diagnosed as a T2 I was losing weight to the rate of 10lbs a week. Although my doctor was pleased, he told me to slow down and eat more food. He gave me a 1200 calorie diet and I lowered it to 1000 because I have done that off and on a lot. He sent me to a nutritionist who without reading his notes changed my diet entirely. I gained back all but 20 of the 60lbs I lost. We both were livid and I refused to keep my follow up with her and went back to 1000 calories and lost the weight again. I have a neighbor who is a registered dietitian who did a meal plan for me and we tweek it when needed.

I agree that cookbooks have recipes for usually 4 people. Sometimes I make the dish for 4 and freeze it for later. Saves time and money.

I found a free cookbook on kindle last year for meals for two but it wasn't diabetic. I got it and looked at it and found most of the meals can be modified for diabetics.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-29 13:32:08 -0600 Report

Never compare yourself to someone else. This includes weight loss and diabetes. Everyone loses weight differently. It took me 3 months to lose 60 lbs and I am still losing.

Sometimes you have to look at your diet. When I stop losing weight, I change my diet. I am now on the Weight Watchers Points Plus diet. I lost 5 lbs the first week. This could also be different for someone else.

When you compare yourself to others and the others are more successful than you and you all are doing the same thing, you begin to think of yourself as a failure. You haven't failed, you simply are going at a different rate than the others.

It goes back to mothers saying when you complained about something your friend has that you don't. If your friend jumped out the window to see if she could fly, would you do it also? This is why we don't compare ourselves to others.

moonbeam95 2014-01-29 10:14:47 -0600 Report

i hear you — BIGTIME…hang in there. i wish i had something to give besides my support and and encouragement. we're in the same boat, i'm afraid. it really is hard. i'm 61 too, and i need to lose at least 50 lbs. i've lost 30, but it took 2 years and is hell just keeping it off…take care

meadowrose 2014-02-01 15:34:13 -0600 Report

moonbeam95, sometimes I also feel I wish I had something more to give; but you know what? Support and encouragement are golden. Don't ever feel that that's second-best. We're all on a journey and get discouraged at times, and desperately need that support and encouragement.

Glucerna 2014-01-29 15:26:32 -0600 Report

Losing 30 pounds is awesome! You're over half-way to your goal which is a major accomplishment. You're right that losing weight is difficult, but you're doing it! ~Lynn @Glucerna

GabbyPA 2014-01-28 16:07:41 -0600 Report

I had a friend who did that diet, but when she stopped the injections and shakes she gained it all back and more. For me, it has to be a lifestyle change that I can keep up. If I can't afford to keep doing it or if it's some weird thing that is not balanced, I just don't see it working for me.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-29 13:34:51 -0600 Report

I agree Gabby, I remember when Oprah was on the liquid diet and lost all the weight. I wanted to try it until I realized that once she starts eating food she is going to gain the weight back. Quick weight loss tactics without maintaining the loss built in only causes the person to gain back all the weight they loss. Better to lose weight in a healthier fashion. It will take longer but it doesn't tax your system. Losing weight fast is not good for the body. It has to play catch up and adjust to the change.

Glucerna 2014-01-28 15:26:30 -0600 Report

You're right that it's difficult to not compare ourselves to others, but that type of thinking can also be self-defeating if we let it get the best of us. I'm reading some really interesting ideas on how we let loopholes sneak into our life and make it easy for us to give up on our goals at www.gretchenrubin.com. When we change our focus and outlook, we find ourselves making progress toward our goals - just as others have said so well. ~Lynn @Glucerna

jayabee52 2014-01-28 15:11:29 -0600 Report

Howdy CJ
People with diabetes may not be able to do the hormone weight loss plan but we can lose weight. In 2011 I had lost 65 lbs within about 5 mos by following a meal plan which restricted my carbs and increased my protein intake. Since I am T2, I also manage my T2 without the use of diabetes meds of any kind. Even though you may need insulin, you can follow this meal plan and I would expect that you could lose a signifigant amount of weight. Upon your request I will share my meal plan with you. (Plus I really didn't do much excercise when I was losing those 65 lbs only what my normal activities included - I seem to remember you having back problems so that may be a plus for you as well)

God's best to you and yours


PS: from my recollection you didn't seem all that fat when I met you in Vegas in 2012 (or was it 13 ?)

Nick1962 2014-01-28 14:08:45 -0600 Report

I’ve always been told the natural “optimal” weight loss rate is 1lb./week (average) to keep it off. In my case some weeks were higher, some lower. Patience is something that comes with it, end you do get rewarded in the end.

dagger1234 2014-01-28 13:59:35 -0600 Report

Whatever you do- do it the right way for losing weight even though it may seem like it's taking forever!