just depressed today

By vrswesley Latest Reply 2014-02-04 16:41:46 -0600
Started 2014-01-25 12:09:22 -0600

I do suffer from depression and Im suffering today.. part of way it hard to eat right.. days kike today.. if its not withing 1 ft of my bed I may not bother…very sad and depressed. worred..trying to make my life better but .. this is at least partitally..chemical..was born with this disease… may just sleep. after lunch.

34 replies

vrswesley 2014-02-04 16:41:46 -0600 Report

aniversary is coming

I am in so much pain,
and dont want to tell any body
sad sad…
so sad..
crying sad
need you Dan
never stop needing you …
but just horrible sad
need you so much..
that doesnt stop ever
people can tell me it will but…
Im not thinking it will
hurts so much.

feeling dread, depression

my husband death is comig up, the aniversary

Skatinlayton 2014-01-27 08:22:26 -0600 Report

Hey hang in there. Days like this just happen. Its the real shitty part of this disease. Find a comedy or have a chat with someone. Something to lighten your mood.How bout I tell you what happened to me the other day? This should make you smile. I have a blood disorder where my platelets are to low and red bloodcells are to high. So my blood is thick. This being a risk of stroke my blood specialist decided to take a pint of blood out, thus thinning the blood. Next day I check in for my phlobotomy and everything goes well. Until they start taking the blood. Note,I am not scared of needles or blood so thats not an issue. Ok they have me pumping this soft little ball in the hand of the arm they are drawing from. Blood flowing well and I'm pumping the little ball. And pumping and pumping…My blood was so thick it clogged the needle. No problem. Right? Move to the second arm… OK half pint from first arm… Second arm clogs after less than a quarter pint. I still have about a half pint to go. Ok back of the left hand. Not a problem, thats where I usually have my blood drawn from. Problem…blood clogs before it even gets through the tube leading to the bag… Now what I'm running out of places to stivk and I have green and pink tape wraped around both arms and one hand. By this time I'm told neither nurse has ever delt with anyone a stuborn as me. My blood that is. Ok they give me the option, quit now or take the rest. I want it out. We need another 120cc's. A nurse walks in carring an arm full of 20cc syringes. Tube is inserted in my last hand. And a syringe attached. The had to literally suck the blood from my arm. 5 1/2 tubes later we were finished. But each time a syringe was unscrewed ans replaced with another we all held our breath hoping it wouldnt clog the needle. ok 1 hour 35 min. for a pint of blood. If everyone was like me, the blood banks would be bankrupt and empty. It was not bad we laughed about it for awhile. And then I was on my way. Other than all the colorful bandages I felt pretty good. My wife love my new look.
Hope your day gets better. Try to laugh a little. Its great medicine.

GabbyPA 2014-01-26 20:09:42 -0600 Report

Maybe it's the moon? I found myself in a dark place today also. Overwhelmed and worried about a myriad of things.

I don't suffer from a medical depression, but when things get out of hand, it can hit me hard. I found that when I get this way, I can only concentrate on the things I can do something about. That is a huge relief, as usually, that is just a few things in the list. I know it may not work for a medical condition, but the attitude can help get you at least out of bed, as that is one thing you can control.

I hope you are doing better today.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-01-26 19:49:41 -0600 Report

Hi vrswesley,

It's nice to see you. I am glad you are here.

I am really sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now. You mentioned that you suffer from depression. Are you getting any treatment?

Here is a link to an article I wrote awhile back:


Do you have a therapist? If not, you might want to consider talking to a therapist. It might help to have a listening ear, who can also help you with developing some new coping skills. Or, if you are working with a doctor, you might want to let him/her know what's going on.

Stay in touch with us, my friend. You are not alone.


vrswesley 2014-01-26 20:33:27 -0600 Report

yea, I have a t amnd a "p" doc been in therapy for years…helps alot..

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-01-26 20:52:49 -0600 Report

Hi, thanks a lot for updating me. I appreciate it. I had a feeling you were in treatment, but I wanted to encourage you to get help if you weren't.

Set apart
Set apart 2014-01-26 07:10:45 -0600 Report

I am sorry that you're going through this, I have never suffered from depression, so I cannot offer insight; however I can offer prayers and friendship. May God keep you close and lay his healing hand over you!

Sugarlessfinally 2014-01-26 00:13:24 -0600 Report

I suffer from depression too. I think with me I worry about things that might not even happen. But I don't want to eat when I get like this. It is bad because I need to eat to keep my blood sugar ok

vrswesley 2014-01-26 00:15:55 -0600 Report

I understand..I wonder if Im not eating as much as usual and if thats why my blood sugar has been running low latly.. been having alot of trouble le with it last two weeks. ..might be why..not sure.

jayabee52 2014-01-25 22:26:44 -0600 Report

I had also been stuggling with depression ever since I was in my teens. I know what I felt when I was depressed, and it was not fun at all. Because of the depression I had thoughts of suicide For some reason, the suicide ideation stopped in 2007 or 08. I may be a bit blue now and again, but not to the level it was. Unfortunately I do not know what actually happened so I really have no insight to share on this.

Praying you get/feel better soon!

James Baker

PS are you aware of a sister site to DC called Depression Connect. You can find this site by going to the upper left where it says "visit another community" and click that link and then select "depresson" Use your DC info to login. I hadn't been there in a long time, but it might be useful to you

vrswesley 2014-01-25 16:57:47 -0600 Report

Ive been fighting depression all my life.. a
I asked my therapist oncwe will I ever not have this? she said.. well it wont always be bad but yes you will always have eposoids..s we are coming up on the aviversary of my husbands death. that duesnt help…but I do want to say thankyou for tryiny to understand..knowing people are out there..caring does help..means Im not totally alone.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-25 17:20:28 -0600 Report

Your therapist is right. A crude way of thinking about it is suppose you were born missing a leg? They can not help you with a new real leg, but then can help with the quality of your life, such as an artificial leg. You and I both are missing some chemicals. They can't make out bodies make these chemicals, but they can give us drugs that supply our bodies, mind, and spirit with the chemicals for a short period of time. Part of the problem is that they have not yet determined all the chemicals that play a part in this balance and for the ones they know, they don't always guess the right dosing. My toughest times are the short days of sunlight because that when my 2 depressions can meet. The end of last year I had 3 life issues which all combined together. I don't mind people knowing I suffer from depression and SAD, but I tend not to let anyone know when the going is rough. Hang in there. Jim

101 Diabetics
101 Diabetics 2014-01-25 16:41:49 -0600 Report

I have never suffered with depression like that, which definitely makes me not qualified to address these types of issues.

I do not enjoy hearing these types of events in anyone's lives, but I do pray that you will overcome this.

Hopefully, you will soon get through this episode, and get back on track with your life!

May God bless you and keep you through these times!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-25 16:09:57 -0600 Report

Hello, I know the shoes you wear. It gets hard. I just got through one of the longest and most severe depressions that I have had in 20 years. I have depression and SAD and about mid-October everything seemed to line up (not in a good way), then it took some normal everyday life events added to the depression and SAD to send me down the roller coaster. The only difference now is that I KNOW it will not last forever and that I will come back up. It was a tough ride. I think my dog dying after 17 years was both good and bad. Bad because it added to the problem, good, because I cried my eyes, my heart and my soul out over losing her.
I too find it harder to eat right when I am down and out. I mean chocolate is my comfort food! I have learned to use more cocoa which isn't as bad.
Yes, the word suffering is the right word. It is a difficult time and sometimes it takes all my strength to put one food in front of the other. I do wish you the best and hang in there. Jim

Sugarlessfinally 2014-01-26 00:17:21 -0600 Report

I am deeply sorry about your dog. I had twin Siamese and lost one right after the other. They were about 16. Sure they got old but nothing anyone said would help. Cry and mope and didn't want to eat. Why would I want a sandwich the twins are gone. I understand where you are coming from Jim. Thank you.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-26 14:25:08 -0600 Report

Knowing that a pet has already passed their expected life term does not make it easier. Goose was a lab/shep/and who knows. Expected life about 12 years. I had her for 17. Her expected life if she had stayed where she was, one year, maybe. We took care of her, she took care of me.

101 Diabetics
101 Diabetics 2014-01-25 16:51:19 -0600 Report

The loss of a pet that we have owned for any great length of time is very painful. I have lost several down through the years, so this I do understand.

We also run a kitten/cat rescue, and I grieve the loss of anyone of them. I try to help them, and many do very well. Others are too far gone when I get them, and then I hate it when I am forced to give-up what is surely inevitable.

Although I never had children, I always wanted them. We had talked about adopting one, but we hear too many nightmare stories about that. I thought about foster home, but would never want to give up one which I had taken in. So, we decided that we better just let that alone.

It sorta leaves those who have not experienced true depression at a loss of what to say to anyone going through that. Hopefully, someone in their lives will be able to help figure how to restore their lives to that of being peaceful!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-25 17:22:26 -0600 Report

Mostly, it is just being there and supporting through words, touch, and believe it or not Internet care helps too!

101 Diabetics
101 Diabetics 2014-01-25 17:37:34 -0600 Report

Absolutely, Jim!

It was the internet that has helped me with what I have learned about Diabetes so far, plus, many of the other things that I have researched online.

I would never want to hurt anyone who is suffering through anything. I always feel that if you cannot say something good, than just don't say anything at all!

I saw there were not a lot of responses here, but I guess people do not really know what to say, like me.

vrswesley 2014-01-26 14:02:54 -0600 Report

Its simply listening that helps..of course coundnt live w/o my meds of my therapists help.. ..its talking and not having to be alone.. to just have people care and not tell me to "pull out of it" you cant just pull out of it.. it is a deasease.. truely..but I want to leyt you know thatpeople even though I hear that yuou dont know how to help..just youre response, and listen and NOt saying get over it. helps..thankyou.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-26 10:24:09 -0600 Report

It is a road that is difficult to travel because sometimes there is nothing happening in our lives that is so bad it triggers it. So that chemical inbalance can really throw stuff off.

vrswesley 2014-01-25 16:32:56 -0600 Report

thankyou for understanding.. havent been getting enough sleep hope to change that..not sugceeding yet..but,…

oh and thankyou for sugjesting coco..
i own that.. Im out of chocalate..

just wanted to thankyou

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-25 17:34:52 -0600 Report

For your sleep, try non-medicine, non-herb stuff first. Folks with depression, like you and me generally do not respond to anything with caffiene in it. So start by eliminating that. If you need your morning coffee, go ahead, but cut it all off by 3 in the afternoon. Get rid of soda, diet or regular from your diet. After 5, keep your eating simple. Soup, non-sugar drinks, veggies. Try this first. If that does not do the trick, try Melatonia, available at Walmaart and the like in the suppliement section. Keep us posted. Remember it is one step at a time. Jim
New picture is my grandson falling asleep on Shadow, my doggie and friend.

Set apart
Set apart 2014-01-26 07:16:10 -0600 Report

Hi Jim, I am so sorry about Shadow. I too can relate I am coming up on the one year anniversary of the loss of m Chopo, our most beloved pomeranium. We had him for 9 years, he slept with us, he was the baby my husband and I never had. His loss was a traumatic event in my life, I miss him so much. Crying helps, and I kept a box in his remembrance, pictures and a small cut of his beautiful coat tied with ribbon. I know we loved them so much, because they are the only ones in life that will love you unconditionally and never let you down! Best wishes!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-26 10:26:51 -0600 Report

Thankfully Shadow is alive and well, it was Goosey or The Goose that I lost. It is funny, I see an empty milk jug and I think of her. She loved to carry, toss and kick an empty gallon jug. I buried her here at work outside the water plant that I operate. Spring time I will plant a tree there.

jayabee52 2014-01-26 10:59:00 -0600 Report

Oh I also thought you had lost shadow. I don't ever remember you mentioning Goosey. Sorry to learn of your loss

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2014-01-26 11:09:06 -0600 Report

No, if I lost Shadow at this point in my life you might as well send the men with the straight jacket and put me in a rubber room. That is a loss I have no idea how I would bear it. She is my Shadow, my friend, and a great comfort to me.

vrswesley 2014-01-26 14:48:42 -0600 Report

understand, my alex ..my cat..she is my love.. only one I love more is my husband. she around 9 yrs old.

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