I was diagnosed fifteen years ago when I was only four years old. People say it's so easy because I must be used to living a life with diabetes because I don't remember what it's like not to, but the horrible truth is that almost every day is unbearable. I'm sick of testing myself over and over and over taking injections everyday because when my parents had the opportunity they still didn't make an effort to get me on a pump. My A1C has been 12 for the past few years and I'm literally sick of trying to get it to come down because it hasn't worked in the last few years that I've tried. I'm so used to not even testing myself or giving myself injections at the proper time. It's so time consuming! I feel like I'm literally a constant charity case. I want so desperately to try and be better but I'm afraid I'm too far gone. Just this past year I met an incredible doctor that helped me to bring my A1C down to 8 so that I can get a pump and then out of nowhere our insurance provider told us that it would cost us $4,000 for a pump and a CGM. Who had $4,000 that they can just toss in the air for anything?! After that I lost it…I haven't been keeping record because I think to myself "what's the point of trying if everytime you pick yourself up from the hole you've been kicked in you're just thrown right back in… I know I sound like a whiner but if you've been rejected from a better lifestyle as many times as I have you would understand why.
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