Scared off by Diabetes diagnosis

By Risingsun611 Latest Reply 2014-01-18 19:12:33 -0600
Started 2014-01-11 09:25:20 -0600

Has anyone every had someone treat you differently when they learn you have diabetes?

34 replies

Anonymous 2014-01-15 09:10:50 -0600 Report

I have never told anybody that other than this group I'm a diabetic. I was diagnosis a little of a year ago. I think I'm in denial! I have really good days where I watch every thing I eat and then other days I just eat whatever I want too! I'm ashamed and embarrassed by being a diabetic! I know I just be but I'm the first one in my family to have it and I feel like a failure!!

Sugar Nana
Sugar Nana 2014-01-18 14:51:54 -0600 Report

I understand. I feel because I havent controlled my weight its my fault that I have diabetes. My eating has left me with a life time and life threatening disease. I don't hide it though. The more people around me that know the people I have to hold me accountable for my eating habits.

jayabee52 2014-01-18 19:12:33 -0600 Report

Howdy Nana
Your blaming yourself is common. However, T2 diabetes is at its root a genetic disease. How else could people who are morbidly obese, who eat all the "wrong" foods, manage to NOT get diabetes?

Once we know we have the genetics which make us prone to diabetes then it is incumbent upon us to do what we can to manage our disease path. That is what those folks around you are for. Of course you don't want them turning into your "food police" do you?



dagger1234 2014-01-15 17:59:59 -0600 Report

There is nothing wrong with being embarrassed about having this disease. I am still embarrassed. I just finally told the last person in my family to know, my sister. She was shocked and hugged me and was supportive. You know you can always go to family and they will never judge or deny you.

I too have good days and or LOW, LOW, LOW days. I havent had highs for a while. I need to get checked up ASAP and see whats wrong with me.

JSJB 2014-01-14 16:32:58 -0600 Report

Ignorant people will always make fun of something they know nothing about or say hurtful things but we have to educate them on this condition. So until we do, expect to be hurt. I did not hide the fact that I was diagnosed with this condition, I talked about it and was surprised by all the people that said "I didn't know that". So be patient they will come around and those who still tend to be ignorant, just ignore them or try a little harder to let them know what this condition is and will do to you. Hold your head high and have a good life.

brent1023 2014-01-14 01:08:18 -0600 Report

I find people who are uneducated about this condition will make jokes about due to the fact they dont anything about diabetes

brent1023 2014-01-14 01:05:20 -0600 Report

I was 11 when i was diagnosed other kids made fun of me the offered me candy cuz they knew i couldnt have it made comments that i did drugs becuase when i found out about the diabtes i was extremely skinny they call me a meth head but that was 10 years ago. Buy today nobody treats me different they just ask if im doing all right

brent1023 2014-01-14 01:10:08 -0600 Report

But i defiantly could loss some wieght right now lol

Risingsun611 2014-01-14 12:35:52 -0600 Report

Glad you're better. Kids can sometimes be cruel. There are little things you can do to get more active. Make better food choices and exercise…the pounds will fall off.

Risingsun611 2014-01-13 13:37:03 -0600 Report

Trus Chopstix. I lost 20 lbs when diagnoised. I was back to my welterweight! LOL This was great…and I thought it was because I was eating healthier. Just wished I didn't lose the weight because I was diabetic. But it's all good now.

Chopstix 2014-01-13 13:33:22 -0600 Report

No one has yet to be scared off. They mostly seem to want to know what i do to keep it under control and we end up having a long conversation. The best part is people do not believe that I used to weigh in at 250 pounds. You should see the look on their faces! I could go on but I'm not. Take care everyone…

Jan8 2014-01-13 08:51:41 -0600 Report

Yes because every time I am supposed to show up at a certain time my blood sugar takes a dive and it takes me some time to recover. I have to call and say I'm not sure when I'll be there.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-13 17:50:20 -0600 Report

Jan that happened to me for the very fist time last Monday. I was suppose to go to a lunch meeting and my blood sugar dropped an hour before we were suppose to meet. I was hoping it would be cancelled but it wasn't; it was pushed back two hours later. That gave me time to get it back going up. By the time we got to the resturant. I could feel it going down again and I was feeling light headed. Thankfully, we got there and I was able to get a soda to sip. I was so exhausted from that experience. Thankfully, I was going to lunch with our Police Commander so if things got really bad we would have been lights and sirens to the ER. He knows I am diabetic and was surprised I ordered a regular soda. I told him I was 10 mins from hitting the floor. I have had lows like that but never when I am going anywhere.

GabbyPA 2014-01-12 15:30:46 -0600 Report

Sure, it's natural. You treat someone different who has a new cancer diagnosis or heart condition most likely. Sometimes it's just fleeting with the newness of it, and you can usually get back to normal as long as you let them. Sometimes we don't let people treat us "normal" because our diabetes is all we talk about. So it kind of depends on how much you talk about it and how willing they are to kind of just be okay with it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-13 17:40:30 -0600 Report

Gabby, I don't treat my friends or family members differently because they have a new diagnosis of cancer, diabetes or heart disease. They were my friends before the diagnosis and they will be my friend to the end of time. This is what Rising is talking about. Why would you treat friends and family whom you are suppose to love and respect differently after a diagnosis? This would give the person the impression you don't want to be in their company. This would make them feel as though you really aren't their friend.

I think it is natural to be shocked or surprised but that doesn't mean you treat them differently. What I do is ask if they need an ear or if they are willing to talk about it, I will listen.

I do agree that if all a person talks about is their diabetes, or any other illness, people get tired of listening to it and they treat YOU differently. This includes spouses, other family members, friends, and coworkers. I do not focus on being diabetic so I have no need to talk about it everytime my friends and family get together. We have far more important things to talk about and our focus is enjoyment.

GabbyPA 2014-01-13 18:02:20 -0600 Report

Of course we do. If someone didn't have diabetes before and have it now, you make sure you do things to help them in that. That is treating them differently. When my dad had cancer of course I did things different and treated him differently. Not in a bad way, I like to think, as I tried to take care of him.

I am not saying that it should make the relationship different in the way that I don't love them anymore, but yes, I do treat them differently. Just as you treat a child differently from an adult. You do what is fitting, and what used to be fitting for a child no longer is fitting for the adult. Same with what was fitting for the healthy is not fitting for the chronically ill.

If you had a drinking buddy and they were trying to give it up, you would treat them differently and not invite them to go binge drink with you....its the same way with someone with a chronic illness....things are not the same and we are foolish to think that they should be.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-13 20:14:12 -0600 Report

Gabby I respect your point of view. Why would I make sure I did things to help my friends if they do not ask for help or refuse if I ask if they need help. I still would not treat them differently at all. If you have to treat someone differently to help them especially a friend or family member then you are the one with the problem.

I went to a friends funeral today. I saw a friend I have seen every month for the past 4 months. He has always been sickly and has had many stays in the hospital. I have never asked him about his medical problems because he is a private person when it comes to his health. He was smiling as usual as we walked down the street to the church. During that walk he told me he had to resign a commissioned position for a board we both sit on because his doctor told him Friday that he has 6 months to a year or less to live. I was shocked because he looks like the picture of health. He smiled and said don't be upset my days have been numbered for quite sometime. So are you saying that because my friend who is now working at the state legislature, very involved in community work, and works for a person on the council that I am suppose to treat him differently because I now know he is dying? If I did, he would be upset and not like it one bit. I feel very bad about that but I can't change it.

I agree things are not the same for them but my life isn't going to change because of it. My friends only treated me different until they realized and I told them to back off. We went right back to being the friends we were and not one thing has changed between us.

I am a social drinker and with diabetes I rarely drink, my friends who know this still invite me out with them. They have a drink and I am fine with my diet soda. Times change friendships go to different levels but I still treat all of my friends the same as I did with or without a chronic illness. The reaon for this is because my friends are not needy people. They don't need or want someone holding their hands. If any of us have a problem in life, we talk about it and help each other and keep going. We do not make each others problems our problems.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-01-11 22:43:26 -0600 Report

Hi risingsun,

I suspect you will run into a lot of different reactions. Some people will want to micromanage you. Some may run away, at least temporarily. You may need to just let people you that you are the same person you have always been, that you are taking good care of yourself, and that if you need their help you will ask. That might help them to realize all they need to do is be a friend, like they have always been.


Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-13 17:44:02 -0600 Report

Great point Dr. Gary. I told all of the food police to eat their food and leave mine alone. True friends will stick by you through thick and thin because they love you as a friend or family member. If the man or woman who says they love you walk away when they find out you have a chronic disease really didn't love you to begin with. If they did they would be there through it all with you. The way I see it is if you walk away, we were not really friends and I am not the kind of person to lose sleep over it.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-01-13 22:09:42 -0600 Report

Hi Joyce, Good points here. I think that when someone is diagnosed with a chronic condition, they also learn how resilient they are. They find strength they didn't know they had. Especially when people they thought they could count on are not being so reliable. Gary

haoleboy 2014-01-11 16:00:45 -0600 Report

it appears that some folks do not like to be reminded of their own mortality or the consequences of ignoring (denying) their own health issues. I had a good 'friend' that had many of the same health issues that I was dealing with. after I had my stroke I never heard from him … quite certain it was because he was afraid that the same fate awaited him if he did not address his health issues and that I was an uncomfortable reminder.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-01-11 13:25:00 -0600 Report

The way I see it is you find out who your friends are when something happens to you. Rising unfortunately this happens to a lot of people irregardless of the disease or illness they may have.

Unfortunately, there are people who think you can catch diabetes like a cold or think that you will be dying soon. Others simply can't handle being with people who are sick. You can educate them however, you cannot educate those not willing to learn. Thankfully, my friends never changed in how they treat me. All I can say is hold your head up and be all you can be. Some things including relationships/friendships are not meant to be.

My favorite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt is, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". Never give them permission.

Risingsun611 2014-01-11 12:51:16 -0600 Report

That is so true. I've actually had someone I was dating to become disengaged. It eventually ended. Sad but he obviously want for me.

kimfing 2014-01-11 13:12:58 -0600 Report

Im sorry to hear that but my opinion, u r better off :-) im lucky i have a great husband who is also diabetic. A lot longer than me, that's for sure.

kimfing 2014-01-11 09:57:32 -0600 Report

They just handle me with kid gloves like im disabled or something. I understand the love and concern but i haven't changed, just gotten healthier

Glucerna 2014-01-11 14:39:09 -0600 Report

I wonder if people treat you differently because they don't understand diabetes? Perhaps explaining diabetes to your friends will be helpful? ~Lynn @Glucerna

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