I need a boyfriend.

By 21Rose'syearsT1 Latest Reply 2013-12-21 23:38:02 -0600
Started 2013-12-14 21:41:20 -0600

I Whish I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't have to wake up at 1 in the morning to check my blood sugar. I hate the fact that every time I go on a date my date always act weird when I check my blood sugar.

50 replies

TR53 2013-12-19 01:22:03 -0600 Report

I am sorry for how you have suffered with dietary restrictions for your entire life. Juveline diabetes is a cruel disease.

TR53 2013-12-18 20:14:08 -0600 Report

Hi everyone. I am happy to be here already and relating to many of the posts. This looks like a very supportive site, and I hope that I will come to have friends to learn from and help. Shared experiences are one of many silver linings in life's roadbumps.

TR53 2013-12-18 20:05:56 -0600 Report

Hang in there, 21Rose. Any man worth having is one who will respect you all the way. Don't allow any man to date you based on the superficial. Date only men who see you as an entire person. They most certainly aren't perfect and will appreciate that you let them be who they are as well!!

T'Leesa 2013-12-18 01:08:55 -0600 Report

That is not true. But it sure sounds as though you're meeting the wrong men. Just because you are a diabetic should not be a turnoff for any man. Perhaps changing your perspective about yourself and your disease would help. I met a terrific guy who likes and accept me - diabetes and all! It will happen for you too. Also please learn to like yourself before entering into any relationship.

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-18 01:10:07 -0600 Report

I love myself. Why everyone is just assuming I don't?

TR53 2013-12-18 20:09:18 -0600 Report

Of course you love yourself. Why shouldn't you? Remember though, that the written word is always subject to misinterpretations. There's a benefit as well as a detraction from Internet messaging.

T'Leesa 2013-12-18 19:59:09 -0600 Report

Okay. Please forgive us if we misinterpreted your post. None of us mean any harm. Take care.

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-16 09:54:58 -0600 Report

For ever alone. I don't think anyone would want to deal with me having diabetes.

TR53 2013-12-18 20:17:04 -0600 Report

21Rose, the perfect partner awaits you. From your photo, you look a bit young. If that is true, then believe one who is older and wiser. You don't want to attract any losers into your life. Losers are men or partners who can't accept you all the way. You WILL find that perfect man. Promise!!

GabbyPA 2013-12-17 09:52:25 -0600 Report

Why would you think that? There are many of us who have partners both before and after our diagnosis. Love doesn't care what the package is like. Love sees the inside and will do anything for that which it loves. Don't sell yourself short.

I think first, you have to feel good about your diabetes. Then it will spill over into other people's view the same way. When we are not happy with ourselves solely because of an illness, that too shows and makes people shy away. Who wants to be around a person who is down on themselves all the time? I'm not saying you have to be perfect in dealing with it, but you need to be "okay" with it...then others will be okay with it too. You set the tone, make it a good one.

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-17 10:00:10 -0600 Report

I will never be okay with it. I accepted 21 years ago but be okay with it, that will be impossible. I never get to enjoy my life the way my sisters did. Do you understand what its

TR53 2013-12-18 20:18:43 -0600 Report

You are a type 1 diabetic then, Rose? That would have been so very difficult. I can't even imagine.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-17 13:43:17 -0600 Report

As long as you feel the way you do about being diabetic, you are going to have the problems you are having. So you have diabetes, you are not the only one who has had it since birth and you certainly won't be the last.

Diabetes didn't make it impossible to have or do the things your sisters did, you did that to yourself. No one can hold you down unless you allow it.

Since I was diagnosed, nothing has stopped me or slowed me down but a head cold. Our City Council President invited me and many people throughout the city to a huge Toys for Tots reception last Tuesday night at City Hall. Had it not been cold and raining and having a slight head cold I would have been there. Had I gone it would have made the cold worse.

The reason why I don't focus on being diabetic is because I know it will stop me from doing things I want to do. Plan to do things and then go do it. I am planning a day trip to New York in March. I am going to make at least 4 trips to Virginia next year. I go anywhere I want to go and do fun things.

You have to always have a positive outlook on life, otherwise you will continue to think and believe diabetes is holding you back. The only reason it is holding you back is because you allow it to do so. Once you stop allowing that, you will find that life can be all you dreamed it would be.

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-17 10:01:24 -0600 Report

Feels like to have diabetes your whole life? I'm pretty sure you do. Since the day I was born untill now diabetes always pull me back one way or the orher.

GabbyPA 2013-12-17 10:16:08 -0600 Report

Sadly, no...I don't know what it means to have diabetes all my life. I have had it for only a short time compared to you. I did get to do a lot of things in my youth that maybe you did not. So I cannot compare that way.

I was, however, always the fat girl in school. Friends were few and I struggled with my self much in the same way. I accepted my "shape" but was never okay with it for a very long time. Then I used the "Stop looking" trick I spoke of, and it worked for me. I suddenly had all kinds of guys interested in me...not because I was now skinny, I wasn't. I had become Okay with where I was in life. I was having fun and finding the confidence I needed to be that way. That is what attracted the guys to me. When I truly realized that true love is blind, it released me from being lonely. I married one of them, but am very close friends with some of the others. It is the best of both worlds.

I know we are not the same, and that is just what worked for me. But I think it does ring true for many of us. Until we love ourselves, it's hard to find someone to love us.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-17 13:56:41 -0600 Report

Gabby, I was also the fat girl in school and it made me really shy. I became a book worm. Today I look around at all the friends I have. I do have 3 friends I have known since birth. Two of us went to elementary and high school together.

Growing us wasn't so bad during the summer months. We played softball every day and I visited relatives in the county where we went to the beach, fishing and crabbing and did all kinds of fun things.

The 9th grade was worse. A girl in my class bullied me to the point my grades slipped. My mother told me unless I stood up for myself it would continue. Do what you have to do and tell the teacher to call me. One day I'd had enough. When she started in on me, I got up and threw my chair at her then proceeded to beat the crap out of her. No one messed with me after that and she was the one who got into trouble. I never saw her again after middle school until she got a job where I worked. She was no longer the pretty girl. She was still nasty but she got fired.

I also settled for just being Okay with me but that got me nowhere. I had to break out of my shell. I started traveling and meeting people. I have a lot of friends today. I think Diabetes was the best thing that happened to me. I had tried so many times to lose weight. Now I have to and I feel and look a lot better.

With the exception of still not having a job, I am enjoying life. I am working on trying to come up with a business I can start at home.

Life is what you make it and if you allow anything to hold you back, you can't blame anything or anyone but yourself. I agree 100% until you learn to love yourself, respect yourself, no one is going to love or respect you. Some people learn that the hard way.

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-17 10:23:41 -0600 Report

That's understandable. I accept that I have diabetes but I will never be okay with it. Sometimes I ask my self what my life would be like if I didn't have diabetes? I wouldn't know that. I cannot even imagine that. If I could see the spots where I inject my insulin I wouldn't have much room to take insulin now. I'm pretty sure I will find a husband some day but as of now I feel like everything is suck. Just like some days I feel good about my weight some days I hate it that's how I feel about diabetes.

GabbyPA 2013-12-17 10:30:20 -0600 Report

I know the right guy is out there for you. Just hang in there. Maybe he will have something that he hates about himself as well. None of us come without some kind of "baggage". Some are just on a day trip while others have packed for a trip around the world. LOL

GabbyPA 2013-12-15 12:22:56 -0600 Report

Here is a trick that worked for me. Stop looking. Just be yourself and be out there, and when you least expect it, that special man will find you. Just what he has been looking for. You can't force it, it has to come in it's time. Enjoy life as a single, and then when the time is right to settle down, you can.

jayabee52 2013-12-18 16:05:51 -0600 Report

I know that is what worked for me when I was divorced. I tried and tried to find a love for the rest of my life only to find frustration. But when I relaxed and decided to take it easy, she (my "Jem") came to my inbox and I took it from there.

ashleyrose2092 2013-12-15 05:42:46 -0600 Report

You'll find someone maybe try a different crowd. I met my husband before I was diagnosed luckily. And I've very grateful he is a man and didn't run for the hills when I had issues or needed his support. And maybe on date go to the rest room to check not to hide it but to give dates a chance to get to know u before they get weirded out about the illness or whatever it is that freaks them out lol :)

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-15 10:22:31 -0600 Report

I'm scared to check in the bathroom. When I was 14 freshman year of High School I was taking my insulin in the bathroom and some kids freaked out since then I just check my blood sugar wherever I am. If the person doesn't like it he/she can move.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-15 20:12:32 -0600 Report

That isn't bad however on a first date, you may not get a second date. You also have to be considerate of those around you. If you are in a resturant, diners may not want to see you doing this and it could freak out young kids. This day and age people are not going to move, the manager will make you leave. There are people who faint at just seeing a needle. If you don't show consideration and respect for yourself, that could be a major turn off for a first date. Believe me if we were at dinner and you did this, I would leave you sitting there.

jayabee52 2013-12-15 01:25:59 -0600 Report

Howdy Rose! Why would you not need to awaken at 1 AM to check your Blood Glucose (BG) levels just because you had a boyfriend? Your diabetes will not change at all if you are single or are a couple or are married.

Dating is definitely wierd and uncomfortable time, but as jaydoubleyou pointed out that is something which will sort out the men from the boys. If they get all wierded out by a little bloody poke on your finger, he is probably not someone on which you can rely when you may get a hypo.

I pray you much success in finding a worthwhile life mate!

James Baker

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-15 10:26:18 -0600 Report

My parents been doing that for me since I was a baby. I still do it. I guess my dad was scared Something migh happen while I was asleep but. My doctor wants me to check in the middle of the night. Every night. If my blood sugar is low I can take something but I sometimes over sleep.

jayabee52 2013-12-15 18:01:26 -0600 Report

I guess the question I was asking was what about having a boyfirend would change any of that?

Maybe you might want to get a continuous glucose monitor before the ACA kicks in in 2014.

jayabee52 2013-12-18 16:10:22 -0600 Report

Have you thought of a continuous glucose monitor?

To check your BG he'd have to poke your finger. More than likely you'd wake up anyway because of the pain of the poke.

jaydoubleyou23 2013-12-14 23:00:35 -0600 Report

I definitely wouldn't try to hide it. If you show it and they're not okay with it they're not worth keeping in your life. You will find that man that will stand by you no matter what I promise! It just takes time. :)

21Rose'syearsT1 2013-12-14 23:02:00 -0600 Report

I want it now.. :-( lol..

jaydoubleyou23 2013-12-14 23:03:38 -0600 Report

I know girl. :( it is super hard, but everyone has that perfect match I promise! :)

jayabee52 2013-12-15 01:17:51 -0600 Report

That's the way it happened with my late wife "Jem" and I. We met on a website called Dating4Disabled and she contacted me out of the blue! We both were up front about our disabilities so there were no surprises when we first met in the real world (took us about 5 mo to get to that place where we met half in the middle of the distance between us (about 800 mi) But we both were pretty well gone with one another by the time we got there and our meeting in the real world only confirmed it.
She was a wonderful lady and has created a high bar to jump over for other ladies. Now that he has passed on, I keep looking out for my next love for the rest of my life.

I pray you will find your gentleman soon!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-14 22:10:22 -0600 Report

On a first date you should go to the bathroom and check your blood sugar. If your date doesn't know about your diabetes, it could be a turn off when you just test. Unfortunately, there are people who won't want to be involved with someone they think is ill. Keep in mind there is someone for everyone and never give up hope and don't just settle for anyone.

dagger1234 2013-12-14 21:49:17 -0600 Report

Maybe your dates are just not educated about diabetes. Why don't you explain it to them instead of feeling awkward. My bf still sometimes don't remember when I'm constantly eating that I have diabetes. He tells me to stop eating so much. I just spazz out on him and he's like "I'm sorry I forgot!". Just remember to educate people about diabetes when they ask you or you gotta explain. Next time they won't ask you anymore or wonder.