How do you get over all this and move forward?

By melissa1987 Latest Reply 2013-12-09 22:12:06 -0600
Started 2013-12-05 18:34:14 -0600

Hey I wasn't on here in awhile… I am doing really good physically but mentally I'm not n I need some advise .. I had a miscarriage that I'm not completely over. My father put me in the middle of him cheating on my mother after being married he leaves her for this woman that I thought was there for me to help me emotionally get over my miscarriage n my drug use but she just used me . I am working now n I am not doing any drugs but I'm still finding myself dwelling on everything that happened to me the last few years. Depression is getting the best of me. Does anyone know any tricks to get rid of it? Maybe it's guilt for not telling my mother n my father from not just leaving my mother but my whole family n disowning me when I was really close to my dad… Anyone got any advise?

4 replies

jaydoubleyou23 2013-12-09 22:04:08 -0600 Report

First I just want to say I am so sorry for all of that happening! Stress is awful, and especially when you have diabetes as well it can take a toll on you.
I think you definitely just need to focus on what makes you happy. I used to go through really bad depression streaks too, but I found ways that worked for me to get through it. Focusing on a hobby or something that you love to do helps a lot. And if you surround yourself with friends who push you to be better and motivate you to be your best also helps a ton. And don't worry about other people's problems, just focus on your health and your needs, and your future. Shape yourself into a person that you want to be. And if you ever need support, you can send me a message any time! I'm always open to talk if you need to vent or just someone to talk to. Best wishes!

byrun 2013-12-06 14:19:32 -0600 Report

Welcome home my friend!!! It is good to have you back with us. I am sorry about your miscarriage. As Joyce said we all grieve differently and for different amount of time. Take the time that you need but continue to live your life as well as you can. As far as your family turmoil…we are all very good at just being human. We make mistakes, we hurt the people we love…intentionally and unintentionally. Stuff Happens. Some of it not so good and some of it is wonderful. Sad/bad thing you are depressed. Good thing is you are intelligent enough to recognize it for what it is. I know you will find a way to deal with that. You do state that you are in good shape physically, that you are working and that you are not using drugs any more. Congratulations!!!!!! I am so happy for you. These are such very positive parts of your life. That gives you a good place to go forward with living "your life". A place of strength for/from you. Well wishes for you my friend!!!!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-05 20:53:17 -0600 Report

You have to decide how much baggage you want to continue to carry. Odds are there was nothing you could have done to prevent your father from leaving. Irregardless of what he did, he is still your father so there is no reason to not see him. Parents should never put their children in the middle of their problems. Not everyone can handle a person emotionally if the person has a lot of problems. Especially if the person isn't trained to do that. I would not blame her. She may have had enough of trying to be there for you.

Have you told your father how you feel about what he did? Have you told your family that you are in no way responsible for your fathers actions? If not speak up and tell everyone how you feel.

A person with an addiction whether its drugs, alcohol or nicotine has to deal with it and some will deal with it for the rest of their lives. You have to find a way to deal with this so that you won't resort to doing drugs again.

Sometimes you have to sit down and think about all the things in your life that you can control and work on those things. If there are things in your life that you can't control, such as your fathers cheating and leaving, don't make it your problem. The only person you can control is you. The hardest thing to do at times is to let go of something.

Finally, no one can tell you how long to grieve. Some people are able to move forward and not dwell on the past. You can never change what has happened you do find a way to live with it and move forward. You have got to want to move forward and find a way to do so. It won't be easy but I think you can do it.