My husband is Type 2 and I'm new here

Indiana_Julie
By Indiana_Julie Latest Reply 2013-12-06 12:40:05 -0600
Started 2013-12-02 21:24:08 -0600

My husband is Type 2 since 1997. We've been married since 2006. He's never been one to control his diabetes, and I didn't want to be that newlywed wife that was a nag. Maybe I should have because this past June my husband suffered Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA). I had returned home from grocery shopping and I found him passed out and unresponsive in the bathroom. The paramedics took him to the hospital. My husband's blood sugar was almost 400 and his heart rate was uncontrollable. The ER doctors had to use electrical cardioversion to reset his heart rhythm. This happened again when he was in ICU. I honestly thought I was going to lose him. He was in the hospital and then a rehab facility until October 1.

The DKA caused severe muscle damage, so now he uses a walker for mobile assistance. He also has a Foley catheter because the muscles in his bladder have weakened. His neuropathy has also worsen and moved from just his feet to the legs and thigh area.

Our lives as we knew it have changed. My husband is depressed all the time because he no longer can work. He feels like a failure. I don't know how to help him anymore.

We are doing very well controlling his blood sugar levels. I make all of the meals, so our carb intake is in the range the Dietitian recommended.

I first found this site for low carb recipes. I finally joined in hopes that I can make connections with others who are Type 2 and/or have spouses that are Type 2. I could use all the support and guidance I can get.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.


12 replies

Indiana_Julie
Indiana_Julie 2013-12-04 22:13:46 -0600 Report

I appreciate all the replies and suggestions I've gotten. My husband and I are a team. Prior to his DKA incident he was taking care of me. 5 surgeries in 1.5 years to remove tumors and reconstruct my colon, uterus, and bladder. It was a tough road. I sometimes have the guilt that if I was not sick maybe I would have noticed he wasn't taking care of himself. But I can't turn back the clock nor can I continue to dwell on it. What's done is done.

His depression bothers me so much. He cries more than I've ever seen him cry. You see he made a promise to me right before going into my 5th and final surgery that he will take me to the beach (Ocean City, Maryland… our favorite place) so we can walk the boardwalk. We hadn't been able to go for 2 years because I was so sick. It was exactly 2 weeks after my surgery when I found my husband passed out on the floor. He keeps telling me he's sorry he broke his promise of the walk on the beach. I told him we will walk the beach next summer!

I took my my vows of marriage serious… "in sickness and in health". We are a team and we are survivors. If I can survive my illness and surgeries he can survive this.

Glucerna
Glucerna 2013-12-05 15:43:41 -0600 Report

It sounds like both you and your husband are strong people, and it's so wonderful to hear how you take the 'in sickness and in health' part of your wedding vows seriously. You've been through a lot together, and I'm betting you'll get through this as well. ~Lynn @Glucerna

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-12-04 17:02:10 -0600 Report

Hey Julie,

I am so glad you are here, my friend. Nobody understands what you are going through better than your friends here on Diabetic Connect.

I felt very sad when I read you discussion. You and your husband have been through so much together. It's good to know that, between the two of you (especially you), his blood sugar is under control. Your husband is so lucky to have you.

The word "depression" is always a red flag for me. And as you know, diabetes and depression often go hand in hand. I am wondering if you have thought about getting some counseling for you, for your husband, or for both of you. He could really benefit from talking to a professional, and learning some ways to cope with the physical disability. And you could benefit from having an objective person to talk with.

Just asking.

It's great to be in touch with you! You are not alone!

Gary

Indiana_Julie
Indiana_Julie 2013-12-04 21:56:12 -0600 Report

Thank you so much Gary for your reply. I don't mind seeking counseling it's trying to get my husband to agree. His depression isn't about the diabetes. I think it's a combination of the guilt of causing this himself for not taking control like he should have. I also think majority of it has to do with the muscle deterioration and not able to walk without a walker. I will talk to his doctors to see if I can get some help with persuading my husband to seek counseling.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-12-06 11:47:34 -0600 Report

Hi Julie,

Thanks for the clarification. So a lot of guilt, as well as fear of the future. Counseling could really help a lot. I hope your husband will decide to move forward with this. Please keep us posted!

Glucerna
Glucerna 2013-12-04 14:58:38 -0600 Report

Thanks for sharing your story, and I know you'll find a lot of support here. You might talk with your diabetes educator and physician about your husband's depression, and get their help. ~Lynn @Glucerna

Indiana_Julie
Indiana_Julie 2013-12-04 21:58:31 -0600 Report

Hi Lynn… I really do enjoy this site. It's nice to know that I'm not alone being a spouse to a diabetic (which I knew I wasn't it's just hard to find others that understand). I also needed to see what other T2 deal with on a daily basis. I know everyone's condition is different, but it's nice to see some similarities that I can relate too.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-03 12:00:36 -0600 Report

Hi Julia, welcome to the DC Family

I have been T2 for about 6 years. It is unfortunate that you cannot force anyone to take care of and control their diabetes. T2 is much easier to control if you persevere and not let it control you.

It is good that you are not being a nag. For the diabetic who isn't in control, nagging can make self control even worse. I think you are on the right track in staying in his required amount of carbs. Diabetes is different for everyone and many of us are not on the same carb amounts per day, take different medications or are not on medications becasue T2 can be controlled by diet and exercise alone. I am hoping to get to that point.

I think the only thing you can do is self educate and don't be afraid to question the doctor if the two of you get confused or don't fully understand something. The one thing I don't do is take medical information from anyone who isn't a doctor who is familiar with my health care.

I had neuropathy in my feet really bad. It went away once my numbers were in control. Now when I have it, I know my numbers are high and it goes away the minute I am back in my normal low range.

Take care of yourself while you are caring for him. Good luck to you.

Indiana_Julie
Indiana_Julie 2013-12-04 22:03:11 -0600 Report

Hi Joyce… thank you for your reply. I never stop educating myself. I've taken many classes and I journal every single doctor appointments. I would think the doctors would be tired of me and my journal of questions, but they welcome it. I've been told on many occasions I need to go into the medical field. LOL

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-12-06 12:40:05 -0600 Report

LOL go for it. You might very well be a very good doctor or nurse. Dr.s respect you more if you are able to discuss medical problems intelligently. As a former EMT, I am able to do this.

People who don't question their medical team miss out on very good information. These are the people who get their medical advice from people who aren't equipped to answer them. I have often wondered how many people put themselves in danger listening to arm chair doctors.

dagger1234
dagger1234 2013-12-02 21:29:01 -0600 Report

Hugs*. I just got diagnosed a week and a half ago and I'm taking it serious. I'm splurging on and off but after seeing the high #'s..I am afraid now. Don't give up and continue being a supportive wife. Now it makes you think back. Maybe u should be that nagging wife but it's okay. Lesson learned. God bless and be positive and keep ya head up.

purplerose98
purplerose98 2013-12-03 03:57:13 -0600 Report

I think u will b fine I myself don't have it but my mom has type2 she has had it since she was 40 she is doing good she in her 70s don't b a nag it don't help matters I have learned a lot from my mom. U might have to remind him to take his shot check his sugar it's hard to do but if u love them help them out. Work as a team hugs to ya good luck

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