negative imput!

highlandcitygirl
By highlandcitygirl Latest Reply 2008-12-30 20:12:46 -0600
Started 2008-12-26 19:40:42 -0600

how do you handle negative imput from the people and situations around you? not only about your illness, but in how they act in general.


29 replies

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-12-30 16:46:14 -0600 Report

have you noticed how stressful it is to be around people who think that its all about them and have no feelings for your situation at all!

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-12-30 16:54:19 -0600 Report

Oooooh yeah! Really tries your patience, doesn't it? I tell you right now that those folks need to volunteer and talk with people who are very likely far worse off than they are and dealing with horrific things in their lives. It will definitely humble you and give you a much needed adjustment in your perspective. HOWEVER, those type people probably will be so busy with their own issues that helping others will not cross their mind. Of course everyone's circumstances are very different, so I'm not pointing fingers at all who don't volunteer or help others. But there are ways to help without leaving your home and without spending money if you just search them out. Smile! Make people wonder what you've been up to! (LOL)

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-12-30 19:45:34 -0600 Report

i have a grin like a donkey eatin' briers, keeps everybody guessin'!i try to help when people are feeling low on themselves. knowing that i go there myself, i understand the pain they are in. have to be careful though, not to get caught up in the vortex!

gunther123
gunther123 2008-12-28 13:44:35 -0600 Report

I find negativetity stressful. My wife is quite negative at times toward me, and it becomes stressfull at some point. I 90% of the time let it fly by, or roll off my back, but there does come a time I have to put her in her place with some honest, verbal responses to how I am feeling and what she's doing to me. I have discovered through the years, that many, or even most people do not even realize they are stressing someone out or being negative. I am among those people that I have to work on avoiding negativity, hence stress on a daily basis. It just takes a lot of work to make life more pleasant for yourself and others. Ya just got to have a little laugh at this reality that we are in, I call it a delusion, and that helps me to rise above the earth until I am levitating high above and can see the birds eye view. When it's all said and done, it really doesn't matter.
It's not forever!!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2008-12-28 13:32:22 -0600 Report

I suppose it depends on how bad they are. Sometimes it is best for me to just walk away. My trouble is, when I get angry, I tend to cry. Then I get stupid....so I am better off getting my composure before I open my mouth and insert my foot. Toe cheese is really yucky! LOL
I do have a tendancy that if people are negative toward me, I set out to prove them wrong. I don't care if they never "get it", but I feel better knowing I rose above the negative feed they give me.
NOW...sometimes, I have to stop and make sure I am not just being emotional too. Sometimes a negative comment is really the truth. I may not like it, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't look at what is said. Even if it comes out not so nice, the truth is the truth, and I will grow if I am humble enough to understand that. The messanger is not always so tactful, but that doesn't negate the message.
Hurtful things on the other hand make me nuts. To me or anyone. It makes me cringe when I hear the things that can come out of people's mouths. My god, how can they be so mean sometimes? I just don't know. What I do know, is that they are not usually worth my effort or argument. I am not going to change them, so I can only change how I react to them. That is my responsibility. I hate it when I drop to their level and begin the bantar. No one ever wins then.

2008-12-28 20:13:30 -0600 Report

Oh Gabby, we are so much alike. When I get angry, I cry too. I've had people apologize for hurting my feelings only to be told (by me) that they didn't hurt my feelings, they made me so angry that crying was a self defense mechanism that keeps me from lashing out or choking the 's***' out of them.. LOL I have to regain my composure and once I do I don't want to do that anymore. :)

*Judy

Gabby
GabbyPA 2008-12-29 08:27:45 -0600 Report

LOL, you are so right. I know I would say some really stupid things when I say it in anger. I can become one of those mean and ugly people that I hate so much. You know what they say about our intolerances...they are usually the ones we posesses.

Anonymous
Anonymous 2008-12-27 16:53:26 -0600 Report

I experienced this just this am. my father seems to think that i feel this way on purpose just to bug him. he should know by now that even though he is 85 yrs old i can't nevermind now i feel like a tattletale

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-12-28 13:21:09 -0600 Report

well sometimes you have to tell someone or you might go completely whacky! speaking for myself ,that is. but really we all need that listening ear to let us know we are cared for!

vgarrison
vgarrison 2008-12-27 13:44:11 -0600 Report

Right now I am staying with my mother and stepdad until my husband and I can get jobs and find a place to live…

My step dad is a negative nancy…sometimes it seems like I have to walk on eggshells around him. You never know what kind of a mood he is going to be in.

He is a recovering alcholic and when I was around him before he was still drinking, I was really hoping that now that he is in recovery that it would be different…but so far not very much…it can be quite difficult to please the man.

Everything has to revolve around him, and if it doesn't then he gets pissy and makes sure that EVERYONE around him is miserable as well…it is sooo frustrating at times.

In the long run though, I think it might be a good thing, it sure is making my husband and I get out there and find jobs alot quicker to make sure we can get out of this house…LOL..see always a silver lining…

Blessed Be
Vicki

2008-12-27 12:37:33 -0600 Report

Sometimes I think people behave in a negative manner because they are afraid and it's a front they put on to make themselves feel better. Also, and don't take this the wrong way (which some will do regardless). If someone is constantly whining about how sick they are and never have anything pleasant to say about the rest of their life, I personally don't want to be around them much either. So it's a two way street. Life is give and take and choices around every corner. You can only control your own behavior, you can't control others. When you allow them to affect you in a negative way it's your choice to allow that. Choose to let it roll off your back. I know when someone is hurting your feelings that's easier said than done but everyone makes a choice each morning when they awake on how they will approach the day and you can only make that choice for yourself. Smile in the mirror at yourself and make the choice to be happy regardless of other peoples behavior… I have a favorite saying "Life is like a coin, we can spend it any way we choose BUT remember, you can only spend it ONCE.

*Judy

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-12-27 12:47:33 -0600 Report

I couldn't of said that any better… Debe

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-12-27 15:54:23 -0600 Report

well i do understand what you guys are saying! and to tell you the truth i have complained more on this site than i have ever before! my bad! i apologise! that being said, i have no one here that i can truly talk to. found out many ,many years ago that my feelings were of no real concern. yipes! i forgot! i have been a silent person for most of my life,because it was best to just keep quiet! love you guys!

Anonymous
Anonymous 2008-12-27 16:11:57 -0600 Report

Do not feel bad highland we have all done it on this site. While we may know each other, we are all basically strangers and it is easier sometimes to vent to them, than to those we see. Our one common bond on here is diabetes and we all know that sometimes we are in a bad or whiney, complaining mood. And it helps to just let it out to people that will understand. Sure there have been things said that have offended some but hopefully those days are over and we can all support and comfort each other in our diabetic lives. That was my profound statement for the day. How do you all like it????? LOL

gunther123
gunther123 2008-12-28 13:57:32 -0600 Report

I'm not sure if I make that kind of decision in the morning when I get up. I'm usually taking out the dogs, making my coffee and craving that first cigarette. I do not know how i am going to react to negativity coming from any direction for that day. Truly, for me it's a moment by moment process for me. I alsways do not make a good or bad decision, but the fact I make any decision that is non-destructive is an overall accomplishment and goal for me. I'm still leary or have conflict within about the ethics of whether there is truly choice that we make, or if it just comes at us as if the choice has been made outside of our realm of thinking.
Wayne

G Thomas
G Thomas 2008-12-27 10:46:29 -0600 Report

Good Morning Ladies,
I had no idea that there were people alive that didn't have something. Otherwise the Doctors offices would be available to those of us that are sick. So, the next time to encounter one of those nagative people remember to remind them that at least you are meeting your medical needs head on instead of living a lie of denial. Which will kill them faster if stupidity doesn't.

2008-12-26 19:44:07 -0600 Report

It depends who it comes from. Sometimes I just ignore them, depending upon who gives it. Sometimes I might try to politely tell them it's none of there business or to butt out.

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-12-27 10:08:10 -0600 Report

i understand what your saying. i am talking also about the rejection i feel when those around me don't seem to care that sometimes i'm miserable! like it never dawns on that person to get up and help! and they are always looking at people in a negative viewpoint, it is depressing!

Goddess
Goddess 2008-12-27 10:23:02 -0600 Report

It sure is depressing when the person is your own son.

2008-12-27 10:29:19 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry to hear this. I certainly hope things turn around for you.

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-12-27 11:21:16 -0600 Report

I am so sorry to hear your son is so negitive towards you. You don't deserve that. I would never talk or treat my Mother with disrespect. Hang in there, one day he is really going to need you…Debe

2catty
2catty 2008-12-30 20:12:46 -0600 Report

Oh my god! That is soooo much like what I am living around. If I say anything about it then I am just B. So then I get P and go off. So I don't think I handle it to well.

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