Just when I Think I've Made Some Progress...

Graylin Bee
By Graylin Bee Latest Reply 2013-10-29 02:35:53 -0500
Started 2013-10-16 23:42:49 -0500

Yesterday, or in my world the weekly Carb Fest At The Cake Lady's, Mom surprised me. She proudly stated, "I ran to the store and bought some apples and oranges for tonight's supper since when I was deciding on what salad to make I figured out they wouldn't be good for you."
Wow!!!! She has, after a little over 3 years of Tuesday Night's together decided a meal does not have to include fruit canned in heavy syrup with marshmallows and salad dressing!!! And this miracle has happened without me preaching or sulking.
Thankfully my marshmallow loving sister was in Ohio. She may have sulked a bit, since I always pass my marshmallows over to her.
As I sat happily munching on fresh apple slices and a few orange segments she asked if I had seen the commercial for the armband thing that holds your insulin and some sort of needle thingy, and would that be helpful for me.
The in town sister and I tried to explain that I do not use insulin, but it would be very helpful to those who do.
I didn't have the heart to remind her that I don't have a TV.

14 replies

Fefe12 2013-10-29 02:35:53 -0500 Report

Great story, put a big smile on my face. Thank you. We have to remember that through all our hard work we need to stop and laugh. Gotta love her!

GabbyPA 2013-10-20 15:25:27 -0500 Report

Some times the light bulbs flicker a lot before they finally go on. This is great progress for your Cake Lady!! I hope you shared your gratitude with her.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-20 15:32:34 -0500 Report

Sure did. We let her win at Wipe. Well, at least we managed to let her win one out of three games.

GabbyPA 2013-10-24 17:58:33 -0500 Report

What is Wipe?

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-25 06:07:08 -0500 Report

Wipe is a card game. Use 1 deck, unless you have a whole lot of players. Each player gets dealt 6 cards face down. Lay them out, still face down in 2 columns of 3 rows. Then turn up 2 cards. There is a central draw pile and a discard pile. Draw 1 card from either pile. Then decide to exchange a card from either your face up cards or face down cards. You place the drawn card face up if you keep it. Unless it matches in face value your card, then you get to wipe the row. This means you discard both of your cards from the row and the drawn card. You do not have to wipe if the card matches. Card point values are King = 0, 1 = 1, 2 = 2, and so on through 10 = 10. Then Jack = 20 and Queen = 30. The lowest score wins. You must keep one card face down, until you decide to go out, or someone else goes out. When 1 player has no remaining face down cards, all other players get one more draw. Then points are added up for the hand. I thing you play either 9 or 10 rounds. Our game rules usually vary based on the scorekeeper, the oldest present daughter. I seldom am the scorekeeper. It is a well established tradition with our games the scorekeeper wins more than any other single player. (Not saying the older daughters cheat…just seems a little suspicious.) The Cake Lady usually loses. (Not suspicious…she is just a very bad player.)

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-10-19 21:57:45 -0500 Report

Hi Graylin Bee,

This is a great post. It's a good example of how, over time, you can educate family member on what you can eat and what you can't eat, to the point that they can become proactive and act before you have to remind them. Progress!


mike1967D2 2013-10-24 02:00:34 -0500 Report

I hope my family will get there one day…I'm really new to this to but dang some of my family just are not getting it.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-24 17:35:45 -0500 Report

It is hard to understand from the outside. Heck, it's hard enough to understand when you're the 24/7 person dealing with it. I'm just glad none of my family have either the attitude of just eat it this time, when it's something I know will give me a spike, or the you shouldn't be eating that, when I know I can.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-17 14:06:43 -0500 Report

Just Joyce, Thank you I think my sisters, Mom and I would enjoy time with you. And you would most likely enjoy a Tuesday Night Carb Fest or any other family event with our crowd.
Does your Amish market have cheese curds? I loved when we drove through Iowa there was an Amish store where the semi was allowed to go. We would get enough of their marvelous cheese curds to last several days in the electric cooler.
I love that Mom is mom. I enjoy my Tuesday Night Carb fest. Both for the adventure of seeing what The Carb Lady will concoct and more for the family that will be there. I expect no modification or accommodations for myself. I see the same from my dairy intolerant niece. We both pick and choose and exchange looks.
We all join in in the ribbing that includes the non picky. Non picky really does not fit the "normal" eaters. Some detest the feel of mushy onions, or the texture of fresh onion in potato salad. The marshmallow devouring sister will totally panic if a bean is on her plate, unless it is in seven layer dip as a refried bean. I have lost track of what non acceptable food goes from one Twin's plate to her Twin who loves it, or from cousin to cousin.
Mom is very frustrated the her two darling great grandsons barely eat while there. (Well they will devour any cake or cookie she offers, or the edible Boo Bingo markers we use). She says they must eat at home since they are much taller than they should be for their age. "I guess they are not starved at home" she says as they wander of to do little boy things that do not include eating her food.
For traditional family holidays our rules are simple, We will allow the non onion potato salad eater to bring their own salad as self defense. Or, if one of them volunteer for bringing potato salad, another person brings an onion laden potato salad. The green bean casserole must be made with cream of celery (since one of my nieces gets extremely sick if she eats mushrooms). All other foods are eaten at your own discretion. I will usually bring a lower carb version of seasonal dessert favorites. Interestingly my desserts usually go fast and with praise and with the eaters knowing it is modified.
Do not ever try to fool The Cake Lady into eating anything with a hint of blue cheese in it. She will never ever forgive or forget that sort of trauma, much to the amusement of our late Father. Her suffering over "accidentally eating some in a salad" is hysterically funny. Over the years the piece become larger than could possibly have fit into her mouth intentionally. She will retell this story every time I have blue cheese on my salad. And the piece of cheese is still getting bigger.
Butter or no butter is a long standing personal choice on my part. I prefer the real thing in baking and over vegies if I am in the mood. Mom prefers margarine on everything. Dad only allowed real butter to be spread thinly on toast with a thin layer of jelly and never anything between toast and apple butter (which could be applied liberally) His liking of mustard was "It is only for hot dogs" and when asked when he wanted a hot dog his reply was always "I never eat hotdogs". We did rebel on that point and might slip a little into potato salad, or deviled eggs. As long as he was nowhere near the kitchen during the preparation or ruse was never found out.
I have enjoyed the Tuesdays that have included experimenting with making and eating cake balls, chocolate tasting, cake sampling, Mom's Irresistible caramel covered popcorn, my World's Best Cinnamon Rolls, etc.. I know my limit of allowable carbs and usually fall within that range. If I do over indulge before I leave her apartment at 9 PM I am busy enough for at least the first 4 to 6 hours of my shift that I rapidly get down to below 120 BG before long.
I never expected her to learn about what foods she should fix to help me with my diabetes. That she tries is wonderful and marvelous.
But I love more that we can go out for lunch and I can tease her about how she would rather have the milkshake, so just go ahead and order it instead of sneaking peeks at that part of the menu. She'll usually agree. Unless she has to admit that's what she did yesterday, so she guesses she should have something else and the milkshake for dessert. She enjoyed the day I learned that my favorite restaurant (now sadly closed) would let you have a milk shake as part of a combo meal with no extra charge. I explained to the wait staff that I could not have a milkshake but they agreed to let me call her to invite her out for a free milk shake. They even waited until she got there to fix it and offered unlimited refills (which she graciously tried to refuse).
She has been my guide for learning so much in life.
From her I learned how to have a Plan G ready and to include part of Plan H if called for, while others around are still trying to figure out why Plan A is not working and have not even started to form a back up plan.
My wonderful sense of humor is 1/2 from her and 1/2 from Dad. I love sharing what amuses me and seeing the sister who does not have the 1/2 of Dad's look confused with Mom, while the other sisters get it, even though one may take a few minutes longer.
Luckily we all got a portion of her humor and positive outlook.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-10-17 12:34:56 -0500 Report

Graylin mom is going to be mom no matter what you say and do. Keep in mind they are set in their ways depending on their age and how health concious they are, they are going to stick to their own ways of cooking food for us. She made a baby step and you should be proud of her.

My mom could cook anything and all kinds of wild meats. She almost always had some kind of gravy. When she was borderline diabetic, it was hard for her to adjust to not having all the good stuff she could eat. Thankfully after a year she was no longer prediabetic and was back eating her favorite things.

I use Country Crock or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter when I don't have butter from the Amish Market. I have tried corn without butter, never again. Butter does nothing to my blood sugar and I don't use a lot of it. My cholesterol is pretty good.

Your sisters would enjoy our family dinners. You might not. We never ever ask anyone to make special foods for us. We have traditional carb laden Thanksgiving Dinner and I alway can find enough food to eat without loading up on carbs. I even will eat a teaspoon of dressing, a teaspoon of mashed potatoes with a drizzle of gravy and what ever mac and cheese sticks to the fork. I have no probelms. With as many people that can be at dinner, people are spread throughout the first level and basement so to chat with everyone, you have to move around a lot. I get exercise just visiting with them…lol

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-17 10:18:16 -0500 Report

Fully understand the temptation for banishment.
Two weeks after we got married, I invited Hubby's parents to Thanksgiving Dinner. Mom-in-Law gave me her Turkey dressing/stuffing recipe. Not so good. But she was so happy I made it.
My Mom loves very buttery vegies. I am a not buttery veggies person…so I am stuck with them when she is around. She manages to sneak it in every single time.
Even I of my sisters is a you have to butter your ear of corn tyrant. One year her Hubby was astounded to see my hubby and me eating corn on the cob with no butter. He said she refuses to let him eat it that way and does not even bring it to the table unbuttered. Thankfully we were at another sister's home and therefore, in a neutral country.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2013-10-17 10:05:25 -0500 Report

Thanks, Nick. I was just so unprepared, forgot I had a phone cam in my pocket. At least one sister was there to share the moment. We were able to exchange our "Isn't Mom so cute and so very confused" look. At least we were able to calmly explain about insulin and me not using it.
One Tuesday Mom almost killed us both. She got us laughing so hard with a Momism and we caught each others eye. We could not stop laughing. Neither of us could catch our breath. I kept thinking "How is Mom going to explain our deaths to her other daughters." One of the absent sisters said she would have just asked Mom "What did you say or do right before they died." She has had shared in several of those special near death moments.
This sister has a learned quite a bit about diabetes and food. She had her crash course while helping her father-in-law during the end of his life. She spent several months being his caregiver and faced a lot of the issues I deal with at work.
Sorry I cannot reply directly to your post below Nick. For some strange reason whenever I try to reply, the popup login or join box pops up this morning.

Young1s 2013-10-16 23:53:22 -0500 Report

LOL! Bless her heart. She at least was putting in the effort to try and understand. It's hard to get our mother's, who fed us for years, to realize that their way of doing isn't what is best for us…now that we are adults/diabetics. Took months and months of arguing to get my mother to stop trying to season my food in the pot the way she "thought" it should taste. Almost was ready to ban her from my home…haha. Glad it was a nice breakthrough for you. Hope it lasts.