I want to give up

Leslieluv21
By Leslieluv21 Latest Reply 2013-10-19 22:15:52 -0500
Started 2013-10-12 16:08:07 -0500

Lately I have been strongly considering giving up on the management of my diabetes. It's almost 2 months since I got diagnosed and was put on insulin. I used to weigh 110lbs, I looked great, happy and healthy. I am now 122 lbs, unhappy and not looking great. I am constantly being asked if I'm in a bad mood. No I'm not! I just seem like that since I've been taking insulin. I have been strongly considering not taking my insulin, and not going to my next doctors appointment. Sometimes I would rather feel and look happy and healthy than dealing with the constant blood sugar checking and insulin shots and carb counting. I want to just say f*** it and go on with my life like it used to be. I highly regret even going to the doctor when I felt that something wasn't right with me. I wish I would've never found out. I'm over this! I feel the 12 pounds and it's uncomfortable for me, I'm not used to that. I miss my old self. I f****** hate diabetes and all of the negative bull**** it brings!


7 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-10-19 22:15:52 -0500 Report

Hey Leslie,

It's good to hear from you. I am glad you reached out to your friends. But sorry you are struggling right now. Between all the changes you have had to make in your life, and now the change in the way you look, it sounds like you are pretty frustrated, to say the least.

As others have said, I hope you will get lots of support on the road ahead. And hang in there. Change is always hard. But think of it this way. By taking good care of yourself, you are helping to create the best possible future for yourself, beginning with protecting your health.

Here is a link to an article I wrote awhile back:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-information-articles/general/410-five-tips-to-manage-diabetes-burnout

You might want to sit down with your doctor, or a diabetes educator, and talk about your diet. Be patient with yourself.

And stay in touch with us. You are not alone.

Gary

Young1s
Young1s 2013-10-16 16:33:10 -0500 Report

While I'm gonna strongly urge you to not give up, I do know how you feel. Some months back, I did exactly what you are considering. Stopped caring, stopped eating right, missed a couple of appointments, and eventually stopped my meds. However, this was after dealing for over a year and a half.

But, yeah, I felt like I hit a wall of resistance and didn't care to try to bother to break through. Then one day, I was feeling really awful and decided to check my levels and got a real wake-up call. Over 300. The last time I was over 300 was in the beginning of my dealing with this pain in the butt disease. It reminded me of how hard it was to finally get my numbers to where they are now and I realized I didn't want to go through all that again.

I think in the beginning I was so gungho that it was to the point of obsession, just ask my family. Which is why I think I had the burn out. But in a way, it helped me to learn a lot about myself and my D. And I fully expect that at some point down the road, I will probably hit that same wall head on. I think that's just a part of dealing with this annoyance. The main thing is that it can be dealt with.

It's hard at first and a lot of days are gonna suck, but it is so worth it to push on. Of course the easy thing to do would be to just ignore it and carry on, but to what end? It would eventually cause some serious diabetic complications that could be detrimental to your life and/or way of living; which could be avoided with a little effort. Please hang in there.

Bekah Nikole
Bekah Nikole 2013-10-16 15:20:07 -0500 Report

Don't give up!! I know it sounds like a bunch of bull shit, but giving up is not the answer. When ever I feel like just throwing everything to the wind I remember everything I have to fight for and why I have to fight every day. I am not supposed to have kids, but then again I have four amazing rental babies (two are my brother's and the other two are a friends). While my life has been flipped upside down my husband has flipped his upside down to support me throughout my fight. One Step at a Time has the right idea and give yourself some sort of bonus for doing well. Like if you have good numbers for a whole week or keep to an exercise or food plan for a whole week you can get a new movie or book. It's important to reward yourself, it's all fine and dandy to be able to say your healthy. However, it's aggervating as all hell when all you want is that desert or fatty burger. So instead turn around and take that money and spend it on something you've wanted for a while. I can say personally, that while all of this sucks really big hairy sweaty monkey balls sometimes, I have learned not only how to take care of myself better, but how to love myself in a whole new way.

One Step at a Time
One Step at a Time 2013-10-15 20:32:39 -0500 Report

You don't want to neglect your management and end up in DKA like I did. I ignored all the warning signs and ended up in the ER with BG at 950 and spent a week in CCU. No thanks! I have 2 boys and want to be there for them and watch them become adults and all the things the future holds. I have only been type 1 for 6 months and more than once I've had emotional breakdowns about all the work it takes to stay healthy. I'm about 8 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, and I've just started to figure out what type if low carb meals keep me full and maintain my sugar. That's helping my weight a bit. Also, my doctors have suggested that I start running. With all the 5k hype he said that's a great social way to decompress and maintain my weight. I've never been a runner, but am willing to try.
Keep a journal with all tour meals, snacks and your feelings about things. It really helps to get it out when most people don't understand. You can vent to yourself and having it on paper is like venting to a good friend. You may also notice some patterns. When my BG is out is whack I am super moody and easily frustrated.
Email me if you want. I'm right there with you!
Don't let this beat you. You are stringer than any carb or finger prick, or insulin injection. You will beat this disease.

AkiliTheBee
AkiliTheBee 2013-10-14 15:23:32 -0500 Report

Hi! I am 25 and was dx with Type 1 at 19. And your absolutely right! It does suck. Especially those first few months. Its that cliche, 'why me?' !!! Well unfortunately it is you. And me! And everyone else in this community. Its ok to want to give up. As long as you dont. If things are worst than they've ever been, then jusy focus on on making them better. Please don't give up. Diabetes isnt worth it. There is so much that can be done.

MoeGig
MoeGig 2013-10-14 12:55:48 -0500 Report

After 46 years of Type 1, my main motivation is "fear". I enjoy life and really fear the nasty end that will occur if I ignore paying attention. All you have to do is scan the web for stories about the complications that will undoubtedly plague you if you fail. I am not trying to intimidate you, I am just passing along what I do…and I think about it every day. It helps me greatly to stay focused.

pfr1
pfr1 2013-10-14 12:11:39 -0500 Report

You want to look happy and healthy, but you will be anything but happy and healthy if you live in denial. Dont give up!! Find yourself a local support network. Work with a diabetic diet counselor. Write everything down. If you walk away now from treatment you may wind up with complications that you will not be able to reverse.

I am writing to you but trying to struggle with the same issue, wanting to give up. I will try to take my advice…

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