sabatoging/wanting to quit

tracyMCS
By tracyMCS Latest Reply 2013-11-30 01:45:54 -0600
Started 2013-10-02 00:37:35 -0500

im a type 2 diabetic and have been for years trying to get this under control..my mom is also a diabetic who doesnt care if her sugars are good or if she is eating right..im trying to eat right and exercise and change my habits but it seems since she is the one buying the groceries that she buys junk food cakes cookies and junk..ive talked to her and talked to her how we need to stop eating the junk and change our eating habits but it seems like she doesnt care.im unemployed right now so i feel like i cant complain about the food because she is letting me live with her rent free and at least im getting food ..right? my a1c when i was diagnosed was 8.7 and now i have it down to 7.5 its not much but i just feel like giving up..ive lost 10 pounds and thats all ive managed to lose i exercise 30 mins a day and cut my calories down to 1200 thats even if i feel like eating and dont get sick and throw it up..sorry i just needed to vent a little


19 replies

dagger1234
dagger1234 2013-11-30 01:45:54 -0600 Report

You can always try to apply for ebt/welfare through the state—especially if you're not working, I can guarantee you will most likely get on it or call them and let them know your situation. Or seek food shelves. I'm proud of you. If all else fails, talk to your other family members, moms friends, etc and work our you and your moms situation. Diabetes is a serious issue if you don't take care/prevent it to worsen.

I have an aunt who has diabetes who did not take care of it and got kidney failure. She has been on dialysis since then..and her son who went blind.

JacqulineTruesdale
JacqulineTruesdale 2013-10-06 05:57:51 -0500 Report

I can relate some I've made this profile for my mother which would probably bbe upset but feel like she could relate to others. Anyway my mother and I lived together for sometime and I would by the groceries and do the cooking. My mother has a sweet tooth so I would buy her little deppies or a candy bar every now and again. One when we lived together and I cooked we would plan our meals and use misses dash for seasoning, or nothing @ aall. We would have veggies with every meal and do portion control. But we would do fast food on Fridays when I didn't feel like cooking. We would do Boston Market which isn't that bad. I feel you should vent and let it out because it it hard living under someones roof for free anf like you said you have to eat. How about you cook sometime do baked chicken with some veggies and a sweet potatoes or a half of white potatoe. No butter or salt. Or just eat the veggies and starch if she cooks that. I do think you would feel better about your situation if you cooked because you would also feel lije your contributing.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-10-04 18:51:20 -0500 Report

Is there a way you guys can go grocery shopping together and reach some kind of compromise? For her cookies can you also get a bag of carrots or a stalk of celery? For her junk can you get unprocessed chicken? Also, if you cook, even if just part of the meal, you have more control.

I know it's easier to just give in out of guilt, but while your mom is doing you a favor, you are still her little girl and maybe you can approach it that way and see if you can get her to come around. Maybe not for herself, but for you??

tracyMCS
tracyMCS 2013-10-05 01:47:13 -0500 Report

ive been using the recipes on this site all week and my mom hasnt even noticed the difference, i think we have worked out a compromise and ill do the cooking if she doesnt mind what i decide to make and is willing to try it before she says something about it…i told her if she buys cookies then at least try for healthier cookies…if there is such a thing…lol but so far this week with me cooking she is enjoying the meals

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-10-05 11:04:56 -0500 Report

That's great. I know it's hard. I cook for family that really doesn't want to participate. So I cook for them and make sure there are choices for me.

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2013-10-03 10:18:53 -0500 Report

Throwing up, is NOT "normal" behavior, certainly not healthy and should not be. If that is happening, you need to get to a white-coat, to get to the bottom of it…
all kinds of possibilities as to cause. Regardless, you need to get to the bottom of that ASAP.

Now for the other stuff… 1200 calories is fine, IF, you know what you are doing, and why you are doing it? Do you? Otherwise what you have done is picked a random number out of thin air, and randomly said, THIS is what i need… how'd you reach that conclusion?

The bottom line, regardless of type/flavor of diabetes is an unpleasant pill called DISCIPLINE. Ok, so it's never a pill… but every single day we make tiny choices. Yes or no, to eat the whole thing… to get near that muffin, eat those potatos, the goldfish crackers.

Every single one is a tiny choice. And they add up. We all need food to survive. No food equals death. Deprive yourself too much, and your body will believe you are starving to death, even if you are not. It will breakdown the fats in your own body to use for energy instead of from what food you eat.

Absolutely nothing wrong about cutting back our intake, nothing wrong with making the best choices available. But be careful about punishing yourself, too dramaticly.

What is the weight you are working towards? What are your goals, the benchmarks you are working towards? To get from A to B is simple enough, IF, if you have some landmarks along that path, to tell you you are heading in the correct direction!!!

What are your short term goals? What are your rewards for getting them?

george allshouse
george allshouse 2013-10-03 10:14:40 -0500 Report

Hang in there and don't give up Tracy I been there I'm type one here myself come talk to us we help you to make you strong by talking to us you not alone here I would like to be your friend keep up the great work and who knows that one day you are better and feel great

tracyMCS
tracyMCS 2013-10-02 21:52:08 -0500 Report

thanks everyone!!! to know that others are here who have went through or are going through makes me feel not so alone..ill make sure to join in discussions it does help

joemonzo08
joemonzo08 2013-10-02 21:32:19 -0500 Report

Do what you can to get employed and eat healthy. Just Joyce is right, but keep trying to help your mom and don't succumb to the unhealthy habits and keep up the hard work. Venting never hurts :) I'm sure posting things and friending people to talk to will help as well.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-10-02 19:06:28 -0500 Report

Tracy, you can't change your mom, only yourself. Is there a way that you can be the one preparing meals? Maybe in some of the junk she buys there is some healthy foods. Can you go grocery shopping with her or can you buy your own food? Don't let your mom's not caring have an effect on you taking care of yourself.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-10-02 18:46:16 -0500 Report

Hi tracy,

Glad you checked in with us!

I know you have a lot of challenges right now. I'm sad to hear that you are not getting the support you need. Sounds like you are feeling kind of trapped in an unhealthy situation.

As others have suggested, I am wondering if you might be able to encourage your mom to eat healthier by taking more of the lead on doing the cooking. There are a lot of great recipes here that you might try. Also wondering if you can encourage her to buy healthier food, even if she insists on less healthy food to eat herself. Can you avoid the unhealthy food that she brings into the house?

When you are feeling unmotivated, you may be experiencing some diabetes burnout. Here is a link to an article I wrote awhile back that you might find helpful:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-information-articles/general/413-diabetic-burnout-how-to-talk-about-your-feelings

Don't go through this alone. Stay in touch with us, my friend!

Gary

tracyMCS
tracyMCS 2013-10-02 21:49:07 -0500 Report

thank you for that article, i didnt know what to call it or even if it was normal…i fight depression so i just figured that was it and it wasnt worth bothering anyone about..

Bekah Nikole
Bekah Nikole 2013-10-02 13:25:51 -0500 Report

Go shopping with her and try to show her (though trying new recipes and different ways of cooking or baking things) how healthier things can be more tasty than the garbage foods. Encourage her to experiment with different things, she might concentrate more on that than the other stuff. I did that in the beginning and it helped me a lot with doing that to myself. I was more excited about having a good reading so I could enjoy the new meal. Up your exercise if you can too, use the happy chemicals to help you and encourage you to push aside the sabatoging.

tracyMCS
tracyMCS 2013-10-02 09:09:11 -0500 Report

thank you both..ive started cooking again, which i love to do and unbeknownst to her so far all the recipes ive made have been very healthy an diabetic friendly and she has loved them..granted its only been 3 meals ive made so far but they have all been very low carb very heart healthy, but she dosnt cook anymore so that has fallen to me to do, but im enjoying it. after last night i decided if she wants to buy the junk food ok it doesnt mean i have to eat it and if i do the cooking i can hide the junk food better…lol

Bun10
Bun10 2013-10-02 08:41:42 -0500 Report

We all want to quit!!! You are not alone. Unfortunately, that's not an option. Also, it is not the last time you will decide to quit. Burn out happens. Be a rebel for a few days then get back on that horse! Congratulations to losing 10 lbs and having an exercise program in place. Can you do the cooking and have dinner ready when Mom gets home? Stick a list of what you need for "new recipes" on the fridge door. Make it seem like your doing the cooking is a treat for your mom and a new hobby for you. Ask her opinion of tonight's new recipe you are trying out. Turn it more in to a fun event you are doing and appreciating her input instead of preaching. Say, "So what do you think, mom. Should I make this recipe again?" Or, "Do you think that was too much spice?" If you can't cook, being unemployed is a good time to learn. Anyone who can read, can cook. Check out the TV cooking shows. Hint: Don't start out with something like roasted Tofu! Cook to her taste just in a healthy way. I'm proud of how you are taking charge of your diabetes. Invite Mom on a "stroll" around the block and talk about her day and yours and things that interest one or both of you. After a while, pick up the pace but don't push her or be obvious. Tell her how much you enjoy that time together. Hope things fall in to place for you!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-10-04 18:29:57 -0500 Report

Bun you can't say "We all want to quit" that is inaccurate. Not everyone wants to quit. I am one of those people. My life and well being depends on my taking care of myself. Do I get frustrated from time to time? Yes but that is my fault. I have never wanted to quit from the day I was diagnosed. I decided that I like having both feet, legs, arms and eyes. I am not going to quit and jeapardize my life. Once you quit, it can be hard to start again. I am not one for quitting unless there are no other options.

Harlen
Harlen 2013-10-02 07:18:10 -0500 Report

You mite try counting carbs ,it may help you better ?
I lost my mom do to her not taking care of herself .
She passed young .
You are the only you there is so its up to you to take care of you
H

tracyMCS
tracyMCS 2013-10-02 14:43:52 -0500 Report

ive never understood the counting carbs …i never know what i should have and havent and if anything like fiber cancels out some carbs..its soo confusing

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-10-02 19:08:16 -0500 Report

There are easy ways to learn how to count carbs. Look through this site and you might find some helpful hints. I had a problem with this at first but I figured it out.