Feeling trap

george allshouse
By george allshouse Latest Reply 2013-09-29 19:04:23 -0500
Started 2013-09-23 22:41:35 -0500

I feel so trap with type 1 and I was doing well but I slid soo far that my a1c is soo high that the test won't show the number anymore and I feel like I faild and I feel I just want to die every time I think about it I cry and cry and cry and makes me feel it's all my fault

Tags: stress

6 replies

Bun10
Bun10 2013-09-29 16:58:43 -0500 Report

What did the person say, when they told you your tests were unreadable. Or did they say, "off the charts". That phrase is simply an old expression. I find it VERY hard to believe your sugar couldn't be read. As a medical laboratory scientist, I was trained to dilute specimens that were too high to read. Dilute them in half. Multiply result by two, etc. True, I'm now retired. Lab sciences marches on without me but I don't believe they are marching backwards. Ask the person who told you it couldn't be measured, why they didn't simply dilute the specimen. Better yet, forget that person. Ask someone else. If that were true, you'd be in intensive care right now. No one would allow someone with a 9 billion sugar to be out walking around. Nor is that physically possible. Put all that out of your head right now. It's an impossibility. If your toaster doesn't work, throw it out! Get a new one! Find a new doctor and explain why you are so devastated and what whacked out results you were given. Diabetes can cause depression. Seeing a new doctor can help the depression and help resolve your glucose and A1C readings. All of our doctors harp on weight. It is not as personal as it first seems. See an endocrinologist. Might as well go straight to the best person to help a diabetic. But do that NOW! No procrastinating! No being discouraged by a ridiculous blood sugar level. Let us know how that works out. Head up.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-09-25 18:27:34 -0500 Report

Hi George,

I also want to encourage you not to be so hard on yourself. This might be a time to sit down with your doctor or a diabetes educator and talk about what you are doing to take care of yourself, what's hard and what's not so hard, and see if you can get some help in keeping your self-care on track.

You said that you are crying a lot. I am wondering if this might be something to talk to your doctor about as well. Sometimes, people who are living with diabetes also experience depression. This would be something bring up with your doctor.

Here is a link to an article that you might find helpful:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-information-articles/general/425-depression-and-diabetes-5-steps-toward-better-mental-health

You are not alone, my friend. Stay in touch with us!

Gary

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2013-09-25 17:08:30 -0500 Report

Hello George:
Lets START by taking away your "beating stick", shall we??? You know the one you are beating yourself senseless with… yeah, THAT one!!!

Got news for ya… you will live, in a perfect universe, or something far less, we are all doing the very best that we can. No matter how good we are, sometimes the dragon we all ride wakes up and sets fire to our world. We can watch it like a hawk, and sometimes it simply does not care about our zeal, our efforts. It does what its going to do… mocking us!? Its enough to make any of us loose hope sometimes.

To whatever miniscule degree we CAN control this beast, it IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE to make zero mistakes, and yes to still fail anyway. We still cannot surrender… if we do, it wins. Too many tests, too many shots, too many fights, every day of my life… not gonna quit now. Too much a &(W&@(#@#@ habit, fight.

A piece of how you feel, I guarantee is where your blood sugar is at, whatever that particular number(s) might be. I haven't read your bio (yet) so I am not sure where you stand in terms of experience(s), habitual testing, etc.

Let's see if your peers and I can walk you back from this "edge", ok ? Don't know you, never met you… but I for one will stand in your way, stop you if I am able… despair needs emotional kindling to grow, And I plan to steal yours brother!

Why is this YOUR fault somehow??? If this poop was @()#*@#(*@#* E-A-S-Y there would be no diabetic boards. If this stuff were easy, nobody would need specialists in any arena re: diabetes ever. It is not easy… never was, never will be.

Are you in a relationship? Are there those who love and care about you on any level? Do you care about anybody, anywhere? Do you have dreams, things you want to achieve in your life? If so then you have good reasons to live… so live,p.s. to write your post, you surely MUST be alive!!!!!

It is a dis-ease that does not suffer our indifference, or fatigue, or our utter exhaustion. I prefer to live myself, how bout you? "…Birthdays may suck, BUT its only when you STOP having em, that it's truly bad…"

There is a Costco sized pallet of kleenex around here somewhere my diabetic brother. Grab some, and lets chat… if I don't have good answers, one of our brothers and sisters, our diabetic peers will. Anothers judgement ONLY matters if we give those judgements power… perhaps they are, but maybe they are not too. Did you ask them… straight out… hey white coats, I feel like dirt, absolutely a failure. Feels like YOU are judging me… are you???

If they are one of us… it is unlikely. If, if your numbers are truly as high as you believe, that you have to do something about. Writing is easier with both hands, both eyes, and so forth… it is very unlikely the machines cannot measure your reading, they go somewhere in the mid thousands (1800 maybe???) last time I checked. Far, far more likely they misplaced your test or mixed yours with someone else's. Regardless you are among friends here… help us understand whats going on… wed like to hear!

george allshouse
george allshouse 2013-09-23 23:44:18 -0500 Report

I have talked to them but I feel like they are juging me and I don't think I can stay strong

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-09-29 19:04:23 -0500 Report

You can stay strong...just for you. I know sometimes when people get really judgmental on me...I set out to prove them wrong and shock them. I play a little bit of visualization in my mind with the scene from the "Sorcerers Apprentice" where the apprentice is calling the waves and stars to his command. It's just a powerful image that helps me. Choose yours and play it in your head when people are being stupid.

kimfing
kimfing 2013-09-23 23:39:23 -0500 Report

I'm sorry you are going thru a rough patch. You haven't failed. Just a slump. Talk to your doctor or educator and see if they can help. Remember to be honest about everything so they have the correct info. Good luck. Stay strong

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