New to the community

By Broooklen'sMommyRN Latest Reply 2013-08-26 11:15:25 -0500
Started 2013-08-20 12:31:52 -0500

Hi all! I'm looking for some support from others dealing with this disease. A little about me…

I'm 31 years old, a mommy, wife and nurse. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes 7 years ago. In 2009 I became pregnant and my blood sugars were not controlled with oral meds. I was started on insulin but lost that baby because of complications from high blood sugars. I stayed on insulin at the recommendation of my OB as I wanted to get pregnant again. This led to a 3 year battle with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss.

In 2011 I became pregnant with my daughter and with lots of hard work I was able to control my blood sugars and have birth to my baby in July 2012.

Since then I've been struggling with my diabetes. My last A1c was 8.7. I feel like I don't have the time to devote to managing this disease. I work 12 hr shifts, when I'm home I'm busy chasing a 13 month old. I also was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression when my daughter was 8 months old, I thought being medicated for that would help me care about managing my health, but it hasn't. I know my health is important but I just can't keep up. I take insulin sometimes, sometimes I forget. I can never remember to check my blood sugar. I don't have prescribed insulin doses. My drs always tell me to adjust myself because I'm a nurse and "know what to do". It's so different when its your own disease though. I feel so overwhelmed, guilty, lost. I know I'm slowly killing myself. I see the complications of this disease everyday with my patients. It's still not enough to motivate me to take care of myself.

I'm over weight. 5'3" and 225 lbs. I don't exercise. My 12 hr shifts lead to lots of convenience foods and no time to exercise.

I have an appointment with an endocrinologist today. I'm hoping he will take control and follow me closely to keep me accountable.

I'm just looking for some support from people dealing with what I am. My husband and family don't understand how difficult, consuming and life altering this disease is. They think its easy, take insulin, lose weight and don't eat things I'm not supposed to. If only it was that easy…

12 replies

GabbyPA 2013-08-26 11:15:25 -0500 Report

We are here for you and many of us can relate to what you are going through. It's hard to do it for so long, and every day and never ending. People who don't deal with it don't understand that part at all.

Being here will help a lot. I know it did for me. I got all kinds of new ideas and different ways to try things. But most of all I could be my messy self and people didn't judge me. They just wanted to help and that made a world of difference.

Keep that little 13 month old gift in your mind. She is a great motivator. You worked so hard to bring her into the world, you will find a way to keep her mommy here too.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-08-25 20:36:22 -0500 Report

Hi Brooklen'sMommyRN,

Nice to see you here. I'm glad you found your way to Diabetes Connect. This is an amazing place, as you can see from the great support and advice you have received.

It's one day at a time. I am hoping that you got some more help from your endocrinologist. As I am sure you already know as a nurse, but one size doesn't fit all with self care plans. So finding a daily regimen that works with your lifestyle and preferences could help you to stay on the path.

I'm assuming you are getting some help with the depression. So important to get help when you are going through depression.

You are dealing with a lot, and it sounds like you aren't getting a lot of support at home right now. So I hope you won't be too hard on yourself. Stay in touch with us. You are not alone!


Tristan2012 2013-08-25 09:10:27 -0500 Report

I can understand you totally. I'm 34 and was diagnosed when I was 14. It's been a battle for me this whole time and still continues to be an issue for me. You'd think with years of experience it would get easier, but truth be told; it doesn't. I was just recently hospitalized this past week and found out just how bad my diabetes had been so out of control. My sugars were up to 400 plus and my A1c was an 11.7 According to what the doctors were saying in the hospital, my A1c's have been that high for a very long time and I never even knew.

Everyone says to exercise and watch what I eat and lose weight. Yeah, anyone can say that to you but when junk food is easily accessible and all the healthy food is so expensive the junk is easy to reach for especially when you fall on hard times. As for myself I also have other health issues that prevent me from being able to work out or walk or what have you. I have neuropathy in my feet and half the time I can't feel my feet and need to keep them up.

It's a hard battle and for those that don't have it, it's easy for them to say "Just do what you need to and it'll be okay." No, it wont. This is a life long struggle and a life time commitment. People think that diabetes is some easy disease, well if it was that easy, I'm sure they'd find a cure by now. Add me if you'd like, I just started watching what I eat and carb counting and all that great stuff. With help and support maybe it will be easier for you.

silvie mae
silvie mae 2013-08-26 06:00:18 -0500 Report

It is difficult for sure to change eating habits. But it is so necessary in order to avoid the dreaded complications of this disease. It's a major commitment that is 100% worth making. Tristan2012, i'm glad to hear you are getting serious about making the difficult changes and that you are on your way to getting things better controlled. Good for you!! :-)

Pengomama 2013-08-23 11:46:05 -0500 Report

Oh my goodness girl, I can truly relate to your situation. I am 54, and my kids are all out of the house but I share the same issues. Excersing is the hardest for me. I have neuropathy in my feet and are on lots of nerve pain meds. As far as my diet goes, once a week i MAKE myself cut up vegs like carrots, celery, radishes what ever i happen to have on hand, or buy. Put them in containers of water in the fridge. I try to pack my sack lunch the night before with these and a hefty salad with tuna, left over ckn, beef whatever we had the night before. I tend to change it up with different salad dressings, cilantro, barley or kidney beans. What ever you tend to like, I found out that it all works out in a salad. Yes it gets boring, but remember you can cheat once in a while. I will go out to lunch with the girls and I will even eat a burger n fries. Even when I order salads, I didn't make it, so it tends to taste GREAT!
I guess what i want to share with you is … when you go grocery shopping, make a list, come home cut up the vegs and and store them in the fridge ready to go. I found that when I did this directly after shopping, my life was a lot easier. Tyson's pre-cut up and cooked chicken strips is also a life saver.
Here are some salad toppings i like to use instead of dressing:
salsa, lemons with fresh basil, dill pickle juice, flavored rice vinegar!!! This is my favorite, no oils at all,a little sweet and flavors like garlic, italian,etc. it is made by Nakano. I will use oil dressings because i dont use oil other places. I cook with water, broth, canned tomatoes, canned mushroom water,etc. This adds lots of flavor, can be made early in a crock pot (what a life saver!!).
Well, I am rambling now sorry. Please if you wish to talk more, or share recipes let me know. We all need support here.
Sherry :)

Set apart
Set apart 2013-08-23 06:44:37 -0500 Report

Welcome to DC, well I guess I don't have to tell you what this disease can do to you! One thing I learned in the last two years since diagnosed with T1, is to say NO! I was a caretaker like you, everyone else came first, but with this disease I learned to put myself first, obviously you can't ignore your daughter, but others can be responsible for chores, meals, etc. Plan for your week, by cutting veggies, carrying a bag of nuts with you, etc. It's easy to give up because it takes so much time and effort, but at the end it's worth it! It's all about YOU, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.

swinaz 2013-08-20 18:03:22 -0500 Report

Hi! I can relate. I am a nurse as well. It is so much harder to manage yourself. We know what we should do in so many aspects but it is hard to do these things for yourself. I have learned to use my crockpot a lot, pack my lunch and my snacks. That way it is easier to stay on track at work.
Diabetes is a tough disease to manage. That is why they people that specialize in doing just that. So don't beat yourself up about it. Just because you are a nurse, it is HARD to be the patient!
I have an appointment with a diabetic educator tomorrow. I will let you know if she has good tips for the long shifts we put in.
Good luck and take care.

Broooklen'sMommyRN 2013-08-20 15:44:54 -0500 Report

Thanks everyone! I'm hoping I can find some emotional support here to help encourage me to make the changes I need to.

I spend all my time taking care of others. My daughter, my patients, my husband, and it leaves me with little time and motivation to take care of myself. I'm hoping the endo can give me some answers and help. There are soooo many options with blood sugar control that I shouldn't feel limited and stuck with what I'm doing now. I'm waiting to see the endo now and although I know I'm in for a big lecture, I'm optimistic that he will help me take control.

My daughter should be my motivation. And when I was pregnant with her she was. Now it's harder to think that way. I feel no symptoms when my blood sugar is uncontrolled. It's a silent disease so it makes it so easy to forget and push it to the back burner. I'm not sure what I need to do within myself to fix that and make it a priority but something has got to change.

silvie mae
silvie mae 2013-08-26 06:17:47 -0500 Report

Just remember that if you don't put your health at the top of the list and take care of yourself. You are not going to be in any condition to take care of others.
I think as a woman we all struggle with putting our needs on the back burner. And if we are not doing that somehow we feel guilty, like we are not being good wives or mothers if we take time away from others to care for our own needs. I believe this is years of societal conditioning and it is a falsehood.
Love and care for yourself first and you will be much better equipped to care for everyone else. :-)

T.Jachimski 2013-08-20 15:32:12 -0500 Report

I definitely agree with you ! It is a difficult disease to take care of . You have to stay positive through life . Drink lots of water and if you have your daughter go for walks . Especially try after meals. No one is going to understand how difficult it can be unless you are In their shoes. Just know that god has a plan for everyone and that he wouldn't put anything in front of you if you couldn't handle it. (if you believe in that ) but Everything happens for a reason with god or science ! Stay strong and stay positive

ShellyLargent 2013-08-20 15:13:54 -0500 Report

Ooohh, deja vu! I was in your exact same shoes, pretty much… I was diagnosed in 2001 while pregnant with our daughter. I controlled my numbers so that she would be born healthy, but after that, I seemed to care less and less. I would purposely stop my insulin and testing because I'd gain so much weight while taking my insulin, I hated it. I was finally put on an insulin pump to help control my blood sugars and "encourage" me to better health care of myself. Once the newness wore off after a few years, and the weight returned, I stopped using it altogether. I knew what complications I could develop and was in the stages of severe retinopathy and neuropathy in my feet and legs, but still didn't care. I had my first heart attack at age 33. My daughter had to spend Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day at my bedside in the hospital. She was 5 and Santa was still a big part of our lives… I got back in the saddle and went gung-ho on my care again, only to relapse back into my bad habits. My second heart attack, although minor compared to the last one, was the final breaking point for me. It was enough of a kick in the ass to make me to make me suck it up, grow up, and be the responsible adult that I needed to be. It's hard to hear, but the bottom line is, take control of this disease or it will kill you, sooner than you my think or expect. I survived two heart attacks, I will not be so lucky should I have a third. I know this and am doing everything I can to prevent it. We can give you all the emotional support you want here, but ultimately YOU have to be the one to take the reins and go. YOU have to test, take your insulin and take control.

silvie mae
silvie mae 2013-08-20 14:40:37 -0500 Report

Hi, and welcome to DC! You are right this is not a simple disease to live with and manage and most people are clueless about it. I know I was until it happened to me.
I just want to encourage you to get on track, begin to make the changes in your life. Like you said you have seen what happens when we ignore it and don't take care of ourselves.
You worked so hard to have your daughter and you need to keep working hard so you can be there for her in as good as shape as you can be.
It sounds like you're taking the steps toward making better choices. It's not easy but, it is worth it. I wish you all the best as you move forward, you can do it!

Next Discussion: Top Ten Diabetes Tips »