How I feel

By adamr1989 Latest Reply 2013-08-05 10:32:25 -0500
Started 2013-07-30 07:58:08 -0500

I feel that I have to lie about my blood sugars cuz my Dad puts so much pressure on me about them and want the perfect A1C of 6.8 which is never gonna happen for me. So, I lie and write a fake number down. Then, he goes and checks the machine and finds out that I've been lying and writing fake numbers. I hate diabetes.

Tags: blood sugars

32 replies

JessTheMess 2013-08-05 03:13:58 -0500 Report

I can relate to this, you feel like you let your parents down. I use to get very angry and depressed when I was younger and the parent thing did not help, your dad means well and you are very blessed to have some one like that in your life I know it drives you insane been there done that , but what helped me is being honest and reassure him you are doing what you need to do to get it lower if it's high etc.

Grandmama16 2013-08-02 16:30:36 -0500 Report

I was diagnosed last year sometime but Dr. Never said the D word but prescribed 4 Metformin but it made me sick so I stopped. The Drs. Office said diet and exercise. No go because I didn't know what 'diet ' meant for D so I thought I was eating well. Not. Exercise is difficult because I have fibromyalgia bordering on chronic fatigue. I've tried physical therapy but the only thing that helped me feel better were the massages in the shoulder/neck area…the back while laying on my stomach was exhausting. They even tried a new barely touching kind. No go. I only went twice a week. Medicare would only pay for 17 times. I'm 69. I take 30mg Cymbalta 3 times a day, used to be 4 but the Dr. Goofed so I left it like that. And I've taken pain pills for 10 years, with Motrin but 5 yrs ago changed to Tylenol…all generic with hydrocodone. Motrin caused an intestinal reaction. Earlier this year Dr. Tested and said the D. Word…ACI? 7.5 and B.S. high. I have slowly worked up to 3 Metformin, 500 each, add 1/2 at night if my number is high…last night 211 despite not much to eat…129 this morning. I eat homemade popcorn at night for Gerd & med in Am. I'm getting new pres. Metformin…4 a day. Counting carbs is a pain. Years ago I lost weight using a less than 40 carbs a day diet…have high Cholesterol now but the med upsets me. Eating normal gained more weight back. So…here I am having trouble even with 30 carbs per meal. No pasta…have tried spaghetti squash instead. Thin meats rolled up spread with Marzapone soft cheese is good? Still muscles feel weak & ache. Need help.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-01 11:33:15 -0500 Report

Adam face it, you have been busted. You dad knows you are lying. Unfortunately you are lying to yourself and your father. If you take your log book to your doctor, he/she will also know you are lying based on the testing they will do. Hating it isn't going to help either because A. it isn't going anywhere and B. you may not take proper care of yourself. The best way to help yourself other than being honest is to simply accept the fact that you are diabetic. Once you do this, you will be better able to take care of it. Your father may not be sure that you are taking care of yourself and seems to be trying to be supportive of you. With your lying about your numbers you are making it hard for him to believe you are doing what you should be doing and even more difficult for him to trust that you are.

There is no such thing as the "perfect" A1C because that can vary from person to person. Diabetes can be different for each person. You will never get your A1C to your target range because you don't believe it will ever happen for you.

It is apparent that your dad loves you and cares about you and your health. If I were you, I would first apologize to him for lying. The two of you should first sit down and make a list of questions to ask your doctor then visit your doctor together so you both can ask questions. The next step would be to take a Diabetes Education class together so you both can learn about diabetes and then educate yourselves. This will help you take better care of yourself, teach you how to get your numbers to your target range and make both you and your dad very happy. Good luck

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-31 15:21:20 -0500 Report

Hey Adam,

I just wanted to jump in and say hi, and to give you some support. I understand how hard it can feel to have to be on top of your numbers all the time.

I kind of want to second what Gabby said. Your father may be feeling scared, and unsure of what to do, when he feels like you may not be taking the best care of yourself. That's always hard for a parent. and when he sees that you have "faked" your numbers, that gives him even more reason to be scared for you.

I am not trying to lecture you, believe me. but staying on top of your numbers benefits you by helping you to feel your best, to stay healthy, to live your life to the fullest. In that way, it's worth the hassle.

It's great to have you here. I want to encourage you to take good care of yourself. As you can see by the responses to your post, you are not alone. So stay in touch with us.


GabbyPA 2013-07-31 04:43:02 -0500 Report

Every one here has offered you some solid advice. I can't add much to it, our members are great.

The only thing I could offer is to have your dad attend one or two of your doctor appointments. Hearing the doctor tell you that a 6.8 is a good place to be could give him some relief. To see that there is a goal and including him in the reaching of the goal instead of the nagging may help as well.

Remember, your dad is probably scared. To have a child (no matter how old) with a chronic condition is heart breaking for them. He doesn't want to loose you, and his "pressure" is most likely due to that.

Nuttypsyc 2013-07-31 03:22:26 -0500 Report

I once lied to my endocrinologist (former endocrinologist) about my sugars. I never really kept track so while I was in the waiting room, I made up numbers in my log book. Hmmm, not really helpful and I made up high numbers since I was running high. I lived my life in complete denial, half assed checking my sugars, pretty much eating whatever and constantly saying that I couldn't control my sugars etc. Well, one day last December, I had a fasting blood sugar of 400. It scared the daylights out of me. I had an appointment to meet with a new endocrinologist in January of this year (never liked any of them and was only compliant when I was pregnant which was a LONG time ago). At any rate, I met with this new endo, LOVED her, complied, got my A1C down to 8 in Feb. Then I went on the pump…LOVE the pump. My most recent A1C was 6.4 and I am shouting that from the rooftops! You need to own your diabetes, don't let it own you! I think that was my biggest problem. If you allow yourself to be in control, you can take the steps that you need to control this disease. You can do it. As for lying to your father, that's only going to hurt you. Your high numbers are already hurting you physically, don't hurt yourself emotionally by lying to your dad.

Scarlet03 2013-07-31 02:21:16 -0500 Report

I'm 41 years old and a diabetic…my mom is diabetic also and her and I sometimes go back and forth. Good thing we don't live in the same household. I'm also a single mom of a teenager and I drive my daughter nuts, but it's only cause she's my one and only.
So I see both sides of the coin. Diabetes is a royal pain to deal with, and because your parents care they hover and check.
I'm thinking your a pretty smart guy and can figure out a plan to control your blood sugars, and not have to lie about it. That way your parents can get off your back and it proves you are being responsible for yourself.
If you have trouble …ASK …there is never a wrong question about this disease if you don't know

Scarlet03 2013-07-31 02:33:58 -0500 Report

Oh btw a 6.8 for an A1C is pretty good. That's what mine was a month ago. Write down a goal range and try to keep it between those #s…for example a low of 100 to nothing over 200. Try that and see what happens. As I said before, don't be afraid to ask

Poodle gal
Poodle gal 2013-07-30 20:56:43 -0500 Report

Don't write down fake numbers—be honest…If your dad doesn't have diabetes, he has no idea how difficult it is to control. He is just worried about you and wants to help you. This being said, however, you need to help yourself. Controlling your diabetes is about helping yourself. You are the only one that will have something to gain by getting your numbers under control. Unfortunately, you also are the one that will have long-term health problems if you don't get your numbers under control. I believe that you have lots of life to look forward to and you don't want to shorten your life or live with the consequences of not taking care of yourself. Take care of yourself by taking care of your diabetes. I hope that you feel supported on this website—I do!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-03 19:06:12 -0500 Report

Poodle, I agree with you. However, if he talks to his father and they both talk to his doctor and attend a diabetes education class his father will get an idea of how hard it can be to control. I am a firm believer that nothing is hard to do unless you make it harder than it has to be. That comes from lifes experiences. I now no longer work hard, I work smart in the end, less work for me.

He does have to help himself and make it a priority. Fake numbers isn't going to help because if the doctor ask to see his log and then do an A1C test he will know the numbers are fake. His deception didn't work because his father found out.

Nick1962 2013-07-30 19:08:02 -0500 Report

Dude, don't cheat yourself or sell yourself short. There is no such thing as a "perfect" A1c, but 6.8 is "acceptable" and achievable, and that’s all anyone is asking.
Everyone will get off your back and let you “handle it” once they see you’re doing it.
If handling your diabetes was a fun project that you liked doing, then you’d be all over it with both hands. Not to mention pretty proud of what you’ve accomplished. Sometimes jumping on those not so fun things with both hands and tackling them can make you just as proud. Even more I would think because they are usually a lot harder.

kimfing 2013-07-30 16:02:56 -0500 Report

I am so sorry you feel you have to lie about your blood sugars. I have read some of the posts in answer and support and would have to agree, the ONLY PERSON you are hurting is YOU! Your dad won't be there for you once you move out and you have to come to terms with how you take care of yourself. I have been married to an insulin dependent diabetic for 22 years. I was newly diagnosed in April. You are NEVER going to have the perfect A1C and your dad will have to come to terms with that. He loves you and wants the best for you.

This is your disease and you have control. It is ultimately up to you what kind of complications, if ANY, you want to have to deal with. You CAN have the support of your family and your dad could be your biggest support. Let him know you need support not lecturing. Nagging and lecturing only makes you want to tune out and then when he really has something good to say, you won't hear him because you think he's nagging again. Let him know how you feel and that you need him as a PARTNER !

Good luck, we are here for you !!

Robin052 2013-07-30 14:50:54 -0500 Report

I am so sorry you have to feel that you have to lie about your numbers. It does suck a lot. I have to be accountable to myself and I am getting very frustrated with this whole thing. The one thing that I feel is important, is that you have to be accountable to yourself because it's your life, your health. I've been good and I've been bad. Trying to do this with diet and exercise has not been easy. I am on disability for major back problems so working out has been an issue. Plus, I was diagnosed with hypothyroid. I take medication for that but don't think it's working because I just keep gaining weight.

So I feel your frustration. I feel like just giving up and going on medication but I talk myself down from the ledge. I'm not happy with my numbers like before and I need to start tracking things again, especially my foods. I may see a dietician because though they gave me an A1C number to shoot for, I have no clue about the diabetic pyramid. I was a vegetarian up to 2 days ago. It seems all the fruits I love are too high in carbs and before lunch I'm over my sugar limit.

So I'd say, "sucks" is definitely the right word but you've come to the right place!!!

BroadwayGirl 2013-07-30 13:24:33 -0500 Report

I know it sucks, especially since no one will ever understand how hard management is unless they have diabetes as well. The only thing I can suggest is telling the truth and talk to your father about how hard it is. He won't understand but he can understand more than he does now. Just tell him. It may help.

joan jett
joan jett 2013-07-30 11:16:25 -0500 Report

I have to do that with my mom too. It sucks.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-03 19:11:49 -0500 Report

Joan, lying isn't the way to handle diabetes. If your mom is trying to help you, grab it. One day you will have to be able to do this without her support and you may have other friends and family who won't support you. Sit down and talk to your mother. If you feel she is hovering over you and constantly on you about your numbers, tell her. You will also have to be honest and show her that your numbers are improving. In the end you both will benefit because your mom with be able to trust that you are responsible to take care of yourself. Right now she doesn't trust you and more than likely she feels you are not responsible when it comes to being diabetic. She is doing this because she loves you. When she is no longer here, you will miss her love no matter how cloying it can be at times.

adamr1989 2013-07-30 11:20:12 -0500 Report

Yeah, if they would just get off my case and let me handle it on my own and not expect everything to be perfect then I wouldn't feel like I have to lie and write down fake numbers.

jigsaw 2013-07-30 20:52:00 -0500 Report

Yep, you have a family that cares, and yet you complain. Then there are those that don't have someone that cares, and yet, they complain! I wonder,can you hear me???

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-03 19:08:06 -0500 Report

Very well said jigsaw. When your family wants to be there to support you, there is no reason to complain. Too many people don't have that.

jigsaw 2013-08-04 06:28:54 -0500 Report

Isn't that the truth! It's even a good feeling when you have someone that cares to the point that's it's annoying!

jigsaw 2013-07-30 21:15:02 -0500 Report

Well adamr1989, sorry that's what you heard. In different words, I was simply saying, in the long run your health is your responsibility. A good a1c is more then likely well within your reach. I may not say it with TLC, but being rude is not my intent! After many years of dealing with diabetes successfully, I'm here to share my experience in a supportive way. Either way, I wish you the best of health and success managing your diabetes.

tinkerbell54 2013-07-30 08:44:23 -0500 Report

I know its hard being a diabetic, but U should share Ur readings with Ur family they can help U when U needs it, or be have when U are happy. or share the high as well as the lows. Ruth Tinkerbell54

jigsaw 2013-07-30 08:25:53 -0500 Report

The only one that your really lying to is yourself, and the reality is you really do know the truth. C'mon adamr1989, take the bull by the horns and manage your diabetes properly! It's really not as difficult as it seems. If you don't, it WILL turn out to be much more difficult then you thought!!!
Read my post on the most important thing you can do to manage your diabetes successfully. It's just a starting point that works. If you succeed, you'll be happier, your dad will be happier, and I'll enjoy reading about your success, when you post it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-03 19:12:42 -0500 Report

Again jigsaw, well said!!!

jigsaw 2013-08-04 06:38:04 -0500 Report

Thanks Just Joyce! Maybe adamr1989 will see that everyone is simply trying to be helpful with an approach from a different angle.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-04 20:59:18 -0500 Report

Jigsaw, that is a flip of the coin. When you lie to cover up the truth and caught, there is a certain amount of anger that goes with it. People who lie do not think others know this. When they are caught they can't handle the embarrassment they feel. When people ask for help or advice, some won't like what is said. He doesn't have to take the advice, he can say it's rude but at the end of the day, the only one who is going to be hurt is him.

jigsaw 2013-08-05 08:49:57 -0500 Report

Your words are legitimate and directly to the point. There are basically two ways to learn. The easy way, and the hard way. If one puts fourth a sincere effort, there is no reason to lie.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-08-05 10:32:25 -0500 Report

People who are older and wiser can spot a liar within minutes. When you lie, then get caught in the lie then try to justify the lie, it only makes matters worse. Once you are known as a liar, you lose peoples trust, respect and your reputation can be so tarnished it could take years to repair.

tinkerbell54 2013-08-05 09:57:01 -0500 Report

It is better to tell the true than to lie. Because in the end a lie will only get u in trouble. Ruth Tinkerbell54