Keeping the stress down at home: How does everybody keep their cool at your house?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2013-08-01 13:21:09 -0500
Started 2013-07-09 20:26:59 -0500

Clients often talk to me about something their partner does, or they do, that can ruin the day. It can be as simple as a facial expression, a smile that seems more like a smirk. A complaint that feels like blame. Words that are taken as a criticism, unfairly given. Or not speaking at all.

In other words, hot buttons. And having one of those hot buttons pushed can lead to hurt or angry feelings. Conflict. And stress.

Everybody has a hot button or two. And the challenges of living with diabetes can leave those hot buttons ripe for the pushing. But a stressful environment can also have a negative impact on your health. Who needs that?

So, maybe you and your partner are already working on how to recover from those breakdowns in communication that can occur when someone’s button gets pushed. Great!

What about promoting a calm, supportive environment at home? One that promotes positive attitude and happiness? In other words, what if those buttons didn’t get pushed in the first place?

Here’s a link to an article with some ideas for you:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-infor...

What about at your house? Anything you, your partner, and your other family members due to keep the stress on low and the cool on high? To promote peace at home? Or, need some help?


30 replies

-->Type1Diabetic<--
-->Type1Diabetic<-- 2013-07-29 11:15:40 -0500 Report

When ever anybody is upset with someone else, we separate ourselves by either sitting outside, going for a walk, staying in our bedrooms and watching tv or listening to music.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-08-01 13:21:09 -0500 Report

HI! So you take a time-out from each other. That's a good way to let those emotions get calmed down. When you are ready, you can get back together and talk about what happened. Thanks for checking in.

coolgirl
coolgirl 2013-07-28 20:48:28 -0500 Report

at my home we breath and count to 10 and then sit and talk about whatever the problem is and what to do, and if we can't figure out a solution we pray

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-28 21:38:35 -0500 Report

Hey coolgirl,

That sounds like a very good approach. Let go and let God.

Thanks for the check in.

Gary

coolgirl
coolgirl 2013-07-28 21:54:39 -0500 Report

you're very welcome Dr. Gary, I have a question how do you invite friends I don't have many

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-08-01 13:19:47 -0500 Report

Hi coolgirl, just click on a member's nickname and it will take you to their profile. Then just click on "Connect" and send them a friend request. You will see your friendship circle grow fast.

lorider70
lorider70 2013-07-21 11:40:03 -0500 Report

My wife is very supportive and has been since the type II diagnosis in 1989, If not for that support I have no doubt that I wouldn't be here today. It can be a frustrating ailment to deal with for the one that has it and his family and friends. I know there are days I am not as "cordial" as I should be; but everyone takes it in stride; perhaps with a gentle reminder to clean up my act a little. And then we have this venue to vent a little from time to time and always get a good response from on-line friends too. Doesn't get any better than this.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-28 21:41:44 -0500 Report

Hi lorider,

I hear this from so many men, who say they don't know how they would have done it without their wives. There a whole of wives out there who are really stepping up to the plate for their husbands.

I know what you mean. Diabetes presents lots of challenges, it affects you physically, and it affects your mood. It's important to have lots of support from understanding people, especially on those bad days.

Always feel free to vent. Everybody certainly gets you here!

Gary

Survivor7311
Survivor7311 2013-07-20 07:14:33 -0500 Report

i hear ya on that my sugars do the same with working now and stressing over my medications but i look at it as a challenge and im full out ready to take it head on :) life throws you lemons sometimes thats when you take those bitter hits and stress and turn into something sweet. forgiveness is the best way to do that. never hold a grudge as hard as it is. and NEVER go to bed angry!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous 2013-07-14 07:47:58 -0500 Report

when im under stress it totally effects my sugars lately there as high as 565 ,also when im sick causes high readings.Ive been walking 2x a day have seen change.Recently was put on insulin at nite ,not happy about that.Iam hopeful things will turn around soon.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-16 22:27:57 -0500 Report

Hi! Oh my gosh, that is a high number. So it sounds like the walking is helping, that's great. Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. Stay in touch with us!

Nana_anna
Nana_anna 2013-07-11 10:03:07 -0500 Report

I can say allot about how my husband acts. I say that he has done all the above. I am not perfect in that either. I do the same thing. We are quick to forgive and to say "I am sorry for…" We never leave anything open for a discussion "for later". Yes, it's sometimes best to be calm down, before answering. If he says something in a smart alleck way, then I come back with, "What did you say?" He usually doesn't repeat, because of the way I ask that, or the look on my face. When I get a certain look on my face, then my son or any family knows! But if he continues on, I say, "Enough!" then I leave the room. When he chills, then I come back. Usually with us, we are done within minutes, and don't let the feelings of whatever they are get to us. All is done. So that is good for us. But, he tends to bring stuff up later, when he gets ticked. I completely ignor him.

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2013-07-12 08:53:55 -0500 Report

We have to leave the room it will effect our Diabetes & if U have high blood pressure it will go up to. I leave the room to my hubby has problem he works 4;15am-12;15pm he makes donuts & he is tire . & this when he in a "BAD" mood & yells at me. What he "NEEDS" is a nap but he does not do that. Maybe Ur hubby is tire to ? Ruth Tinkerbell54

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-11 21:26:11 -0500 Report

Hi Nana_anna,

It's been a long time since we have been in touch.

Being quick to forgive is a gift, for your own peace of mind and for your relationship. Saying "I'm sorry," and hearing those words, can heal the wounds caused by words that are said in the heat of the moment. Taking a break, and moving on, helps keep the tension from turning into a catastrophe.

Thanks!

Gary

bjswarden
bjswarden 2013-07-10 16:57:53 -0500 Report

I go into my room close my door and hang a sign on it, DO NOT DISTURB.. my husband and children know that I am stressed and DO NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED. so I then look through my books or go on my computer just to ease the tension & the stress of everything. WORKS FOR ME.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-11 21:18:26 -0500 Report

Hey bjswarden, we all need to retreat and regroup from time to time. I think everybody figures out their own best way to de-stress.

Jeanette Terry
Jeanette TerryPA 2013-07-10 16:00:18 -0500 Report

At our house we try to talk about what bugs us before it actually does. That way, in the moment when you are mad you won't blow up when trying to tell the other person that you hate what they just did. This doesn't always work perfectly however. So when I feel the stress building and building and we have had one to many outbursts we try to sit down and talk things through again calmly before we move on.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-11 21:13:23 -0500 Report

Hi Jeanette,

Thanks a lot for checking in! Keeping the communication open and air clear is a great way to help maintain harmony at home. As you said so well, it keeps emotions from bubblng over and clouding things up. We're only human. Taking a step back and talking things out can help avoid future stress.

Gary

bjswarden
bjswarden 2013-07-10 17:01:01 -0500 Report

Yes we talk also but at times well most of the time they listen we let our energy out and it goes in one ear and out of the other. So I do what is best for me when my room door closes they know not to bother me. and all is done. And when I come out of my room its like nothing ever happened. I like it like that.. it works for me keeps the arguing down.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-11 21:16:21 -0500 Report

bjswarden, thanks for sharing this. I think that even if you don't come to an agreement, taking time to release the stress can be beneficial. Once you have let it out, you are in a better position to leave it behind.

hairbear68
hairbear68 2013-07-10 17:36:11 -0500 Report

I tried that they open my door and want too see who side i'm going too take lol I listen and don't get into it trying too keek my stress levels down it doen't always work when they try too play mom like a phyco who doen't remember asking them too help or too do something like take a box too the garage it took 2 mths and she finaly did it herself she has too point out the she did it to start crap then they say o you didn't ask me or you asked me I forgot about it has been a while …then its haveyou heard anytning from your ssi you know i'm about too die I not getting any help you need too call ssi see what going on with yoyur paper work I call its still being reviewed or it still beening looked over tell her that let call a lawyer I did lawyer say I can't help until your denied I tell my mom this and she gets piss at me I not a lawyer I can't make them change there policeis way of doing thing so she say I not going too be here much longeri can't even control that let alone ssi

glennb61
glennb61 2013-07-10 09:37:08 -0500 Report

For myself when my buttons are pushed I walk away and just work to let it go. I try to be the level headed one as I spent 24 years in the Navy as a cook and high tensions were commonplace. Sometimes though you just have to laugh it off and not take it too personally, true much easier said than done, but it's better than dwelling on it.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-07-11 21:02:46 -0500 Report

Hey glenn, nice to see you! Walking away can be a very good way to reduce tension. Step away, let the emotions subside, regroup and get your bearings again. And not taking things personally is, in my mind, one of the keys to happiness. Thank you! Gary

Next Discussion: Always major headaches. »